of menstruating & Horniness

Would you have sex with your partner if she was on her period?

This topic came up recently in one of my conversations with a friend. Apparently, some women are horniest when their on their periods.

Funny, cuz I always thought women tend to become extra bitchy (than normal) during these times due to the discomfort. Some women I know have cramps so bad they can't function the entire day. Other women seem to just breeze through it. Some women get PMS (which contrary to popular belief, is actually short for Prehistoric Monster Syndrome) while others don't seem any effects at all. And suddenly I'm told women are also horniest when during their period! Can you believe that?

I somehow think this isn't true for all women. (I'm pretty sure their isn't any statistics on this either). But I wouldn't dare challenge the authenticity of such statement especially when it is made by a woman herself.... simply because... well..... Firstly, hearing that a woman gets horny is always a kind of good news no man would willingly disprove. We want you to be horny. We really do. It makes us being absolute dickheads not such a bad thing.  And second, this sorta thingy fits nicely into a category I like to call 'the great mysteries of the universe; figuring women out'. Women are 'un-figure-out-able' (HAH, I'm pretty sure I've just invented a new word there). Thirdly, we don't really understand this whole period and PMS thingy. I once read a quote (can't remember who sorry) that said something to this effect "I can never fully understand something that bleeds 5 days in a month, every month.... and doesn't die." Whoever that brave man was, I'm pretty sure he slept on the couch that night (or was buried six feet under if the wife was on PMS)

But if I was a woman, and I was having stomach cramps, I'm bleeding out of my vagina, and I've got to wear this pad everywhere, soaking up my blood, I don't think I could be horny one bit. In fact, I'd probably want to make all the men around me who don't bleed every month suffer too. Make them bleed too. Muahahahaha...

Assuming this is true, that women do get hornier during their periods, and she's willing to get it on with you, there are still some hurdles to overcome. First there is the issue of blood and the mess it creates. A man will need to overcome the fact that she's bleeding. This is a case of mind over matter. You've got to be horny enough, not to care that you're about to stick your weener into a bleeding vagina filled with month old placenta and membranes being ejected from the body.

Then, there's the issue of creating a mess. If you're humping on the bed, it's bound to stain. A coloured / disposable towel will be needed at hand. Your freedom of movement is also limited, as you can't be withdrawing and performing half the positions of the kama sutra without dripping blood everywhere. At max, you're stuck with 1 or 2 selected positions. And when the deed is done, and the man withdraws, he'll have to overcome the inclination to faint upon seeing his weener smothered with blood. (and if you have a weak stomach for blood, this may be a problem). There can also be no more oral sex after penetration.

A fantastic idea was mooted by my friend to counter this. Do it in the shower. Brilliant. No mess, blood washes away, and there's no need to shower again after sex!

Another plus point on having sex on a woman's period (other than the fact that she's extra horny) is that there is zero chance of getting pregnant. There's no worry about accidentally conceiving, no counting down the days to your period, and the best part is, no condoms needed. You can do it raw (provided you trust she hasn't any STD's. Ain't that a good trade off?

So gathering the facts, I stand a better chance of getting laid if I can find myself a horny menstruating woman who needs a shower.

Here's the pickup line (doomed for failure)...

"Hey babe, you menstruating?" 

"What?" *slap* 


"Ouch, no.. I mean... you look like you might be feeling horny tonight you.. cuz you know, you are menstruating right?"  *wink*


"WTF?" *slap slap*


"No, no.. I mean that in a good way.. as in if you're horny, but menstruating, maybe you / we should take a shower?" 


"You sick pervert!" *punch & kick in the balls*


:-S

Sigh...............hopeless. I'm never going to be able to pick up women, menstruating or otherwise.