After The Fuck

Have you ever noticed how before you have sex, sex seem like such a big deal. You really feel like you could just die if you don't get some right now. You see a beautiful woman, and you want her, you hear a sexy voice and you want her. Your mind gets consumed by it.You think about the possible candidates you know that just my jump into bed for a short romp with you, and even the most unlikely ones get considered, like maybe your semi-blood related cousin, that girl you exchange dirty emails with, or the cute girl from next door.

And then you get some... and during sex, it really is the most fucking awesome thing you will experience in your life. You're spanking her ass, thrusting hard and giving it to her doggy style and you think to yourself "Oh-My-Fucking-God, I want to have sex 24hrs a day every day." And that thought just gets truer and truer the closer you are to climax.

Climax (or Orgasm) of course just feels like "oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck FUCK YEAH!"

And then the whole things done and you just lie around in Post Coitus bliss for a while, smooching each other, smiling and just wanting to doze off into wonderland.

And then there's the next day.. and everything seems so... well... normal. You see a woman bend over, and the sight of her cleavage doesn't make you want to go jerk off in the bathroom right that instant. You can talk to that girl across the street without imagining her naked. Everything seems less sexed up. You wonder how you ever get so charged up about porn, or getting laid or having a threesome. After all, sex isn't everything in this life.

Of course, we only ever say or think that way after we've just gotten some... or if we get it regularly.

Men always get a bad rap for being horny. If a man openly talks about a sexy women, women roll their eyes and call them perverts. When women openly confess how hot Taylor Lautners abs are, it's supposed to be fine! Men don't roll their eyes in response because, well, we don't have Taylor Lautner's abs.

We're all sexual perverts in one way or another. We are all governed / motivated by our sexual desire. Some have strong impulses, some not so. I will be the first to admit that my sexual desires have let me to places, and made me do things I cannot speak about openly. And I know this is true for almost every normal, functional, sexual human adult.

If you're horny, is it so hard to admit it and be proud of it? It means you're not dysfunctional.

(I am of course, horny as I write this.)

Cheers everybody.

We'd Rock Each Other

You stir in me, a desire so great I cannot resist.

I want you, even if I don't know you. I want you, even if I can't have you.

Even for just one night, you could be my lover, and I could be your man. I'd hold you tenderly, and you'd rest gently by me. I'd whisper sweet words to you, you'd give me seductive looks. I'd want you so badlly, you'd tease me so naughtily. I'd make love to you passionately, you'd pleasure me so excitedly.

Even for just one night, ... in a way no other man would ever do for you, in a way no other woman would do for me....... don't you feel it? We'd rock each others world babe

Tell me something my dear.. how long do you think we can stay away from each other?

When You Looked My Way

You were looking my way.

I know. Because I was looking your way too.

You wore a tight pink tank top and denim miniskirt. Your bra strap was visible Your cleavage teased at me. The outline of your blouse hinted at the wondrous set of breast it kept hidden. Your skin - smooth and white, your legs - slim and sexy.

But it wasn’t that. It was your face.

I knew that face.

And from the way you were stealing glances at me, I think you knew me too.

But from where? From when? I couldn’t place it. Perhaps you were thinking the same things too.

Maybe we don’t know each other.

Maybe we really are strangers.

I’m still trying to figure it out.

Whatever it is, I had my eye on you. And you had your eye on me.

And we both knew, there was something there.

So next time, if fate brings us face to face again… lets say hello okay my dear.

We might just rock each others world.

Boob Call..

There's a colleague of mine....

She likes wearing sexy cloths. Short skirts, tight tank tops, killer heels.... and she shows a bit of cleavage here and there. She's one of those, smiling, laughing but fiesty sort of women. She talks about sex to me once in a while. I can never figure out what that implies. And there's one other thing she does; She usually hangs her phone around her neck with a lanyard.... and some days when she's wearing her tank top, she stuffs it in between her breast. We joked about it before, about how her breast would vibrate when the phone rights....and the thing is... it kinda turns me on.

I have my share of office affairs fantasy. Always wondered how it would feel like getting it on with someone from office... Maybe I watched too may OL (Office Lady) porn scenes for my own good. But the thought of sneaky quickies in the office toilet or having a romp in the board room after office hours have always turned me on.

Call me a perverted and horny, but I constantly fanstasize about having sex with my office clerk.... and now, with this other lady whom I work closely with. Nevermind that she's older than me, nevermind that she's even married.... everytime she has her phone stuffed in between her boobs...I feel like giving her line a call and watch her dig at her cleavage.... and when she sees its me calling, I'll just give her a wink.

Who knows.... maybe she'll wink back.

Lust in the highest order

There’s this girl.

Every time I spot her passing by, I cannot take my eyes off her. I tell myself to look away..... but my eyes stay right on target. I’m consumed with lust at the sight of her. Slim legs… tight ass… and voluptuous breast that make my jaw drop.

I want her. I want to do things to her. I want to grab that ass and spank it silly. I want to kiss that lips and run my lips down her neckline to her breast. I want to plant my face in between her glorious bosom, tickle and suck those nipple and hear her pleasurable groans. I want to caress her back and bite her lips and grind my manhood against her body so she knows how hard she’s got me.

I want to lay her down and spread her wide and plunge my manhood deep…. deep into her pussy…… slowly….. surely…. forcefully….   kiss her…… passionately and deliberately….. I want to feel her body tingle as come into her… I want to see that look of total submission… that look that screams out… take me.. take me now… I’m all yours…

The best part is… she isn’t even trying to attract anyone. She’s just going about her workday, wearing that company uniform, tight jeans and sneakers. She can’t help it that even in those mundane work cloths I’m totally seduced by her. She can’t help it that her work cloths do nothing but accentuate her feminine curves. She can’t help it if I find her to be exactly the kind of real woman I find totally irresistible.

She’s caught me eyeing her a few times. I think she knows I’m looking at her. Maybe she knows I’m interested. Or maybe she thinks I’m a creep. Either way… if lady luck is on my side… I will get my chance to make a move.

Make no mistake about it ladies and gentlemen…. Its lust….. lust in the highest order

Johnny boy oh Johnny boy.... Be Still

Johnny boy oh Johnny boy,

Why the long face? Why the heavy sigh?

Let it go my boy.... let it go. As surely as you hold on tightly to some things, other things you just got to learn how to let go.

Why go down that road my boy.. why? Don't go down roads you know you aren't supposed to be on. Roads that you know come to a dead end. Roads you know only you want to be on.

Why yearn my boy, why yearn? Don't yearn for things that aren't supposed to be. Don't yearn for things you aren't supposed to have. Is it not enough to be happy with what you have?

Don't resent my boy, don't resent. You are who you are. Accept it. You will never be what you lustfully wish to be. Some things you are, and some things you just aren't.

Think straight my boy, think straight. You've been entertaining too many crazy thoughts. Thoughts that should remain just that; thoughts and nothing else.

Stop it my boy, stop it. You can't have your cake and eat it. If you try to, you might just hurt not only yourself, but everyone else too. Then what?

Don't covet my boy, don't covet. Though some things you just long to have, long to touch, long to hold, sometimes, it's just not meant for you.

Johnny boy oh Johnny boy,

I know your heart better than anyone else. I do. Everyone knows you're a good man. But I know deep down you feel like THAT is your problem. You feel like you're just too darn nice to do things you aren't supposed to do, to say things you aren't supposed to say. to reach out and grab the things you want without caring. I know you hate this part of you as much as you are proud of it. And I know that you hate that you just can't stop it either. You are starting to hate being a good man, and that is sad. You feel trapped. Trapped between being the person you've been all this while; sensitive, thoughtful, respectful and acting on the things your heart so desires for.You envy those who don't know any better, you envy those who aren't the wiser, because later when they do grow wiser, they can turn back and just say "I was a fool then, I'm wiser now." And all wrong deeds are forgiven and forgotten and they are praised for learning so well from life's lessons.

You could. You could really throw all the cards in the air, fling morality, reason and everything else out the window and go for broke. Gamble. Risk. Do the very thing you are so terrified of doing. Live your life with abandonment. And taste the glorious fruits of your lustful actions. Or feel the pain of crashing and burning in your own foolishness. You may decide you want to be a fool for once in your life. But even if you do, it still takes two to tango my boy. Do you drag others down that same road of foolishness with you? Who's the real fool; the one that doesn't know any better or the one that does but acts the fool anyway?

I know my boy, I know. I know you feel it's something special. I know your heart is not moved easily, and now that it has, your world feels upside down. I know you look deeply into those eyes and long for something more to be there. A light. A spark. A way. But there is no way. There is no spark. And the light you see is an illusion of your mind. You are hoping for something that isn't there. You are looking for a road that does not exist. The lights are dim, the music is in the air, but it's just you standing there alone on the dance floor. She will not tango with you boy, stop kidding yourself. You set yourself up for disappointment 

You're a tormented soul. But you are the tormentor of your own heart.

You're a big boy.... you should be able to take care of yourself.

Hold on tight. Weather this raging storm your feelings are pouring down on you.

Seek peace.

Seek solace.


Be still my soul. Be still.

A LooOong Lonely YeAr in Bed...

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Cars, Closets & Cops

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One dirty little secret

Here's a dirty little secret.

I don't really recall just when I first became aware of sexual acts.... but as far back as I could remember I was always aware of it, as young as maybe 6 or 7 years old.

Back then, before the Youtube, before Astro, and before DVD's, the only things you could watch was national TV and VCR, which our house did not have anyway. Since my dad moved out and was away most of the week, and my mother was too heavily sedated on her medication most of the time... I sometimes had quite a free hand in choosing what I watch on TV.

Now, back then also, TV2 was like THE channel to watch... Dunhill Double every Thursday and Friday night, Movie Magic on Mondays.. believe it or not, when there were less channels, the quality of movies shown were actually better. The sex scenes in these movies were also censored rather crudely so scenes usually go all the way until they start kissing... and would suddenly jump to when both of them are lying in bed naked, with the sheets covering their body.. all curled up in post coital bliss... I could never SEE what they did.. but I knew they just did something very pleasurable, and it involve a penis and a vagina.. and that to a 6 year old boy.. is already hard core porn.. Haha..

Then, there were the midnight Baywatch episodes.. Oh yes, believe it or not, they used to show it on TV.. and I remember watching them. Always with the girls running on the beach... left.. .right.. left right.. up... down.. up... down... mesmirizing I tell you. ;) I think my first taste of sexual seduction was with Baywatch.. The girl was seducing the guy over a game of pool, and just before she shot her cue ball, she zipped down her leather jacket to bare the maximum cleavage possible.. before bending down for the shot to the male character (and my) delight.... I didn't have a clue what sex was then.. but it sure got me feeling all high and excited.

I soon realized that these things seem to get my penis a bit erected. I was no where near puberty.. so it was never really at full attention (if you catch my drift).....but I discovered that by pressing my penis and blocking off the blood from flowing freely.. there was a tingling sensation that would end in my penis involuntarily contracting.. I had no idea that this was essentially jacking off... and that what I was experiencing was the sensation of ejaculation. Again.. there was no seminal fluid, just the contraction. I started to learn how to manipulate this. I'd often lie face down on the floor, I'd start to imagine all the sexy things I had seen on TV etc, and I would feel the swelling start. As it did, I would press my crotch against the floor even harder until the build up of blood ended with the contraction. Sometimes I would do it under my blanket, sometimes in the open when no one was around. I never know till today if any of my parents observed this behaviour of mine.. But then again.. one was too busy sleeping and being depressed, and the other was too busy screwing other women (which would ultimately screw his own life)

It wasn't until I was about 11 year old that I had my first real ejaculation (and if you have to guess, it was by jacking off watching porn). I started jacking off to porn at 11.. because I found my fathers secret stash of porn in his room. And when he locked it in a drawer.. I found his secret hiding place for the key.. and even made a duplicate of it.. He never found out. So when my guy friends started to ask if I and experienced pre-mature ejaculation (or wet dreams), I didn't know what to tell them. Most of them looked like they hardly knew anything about sex, hardcore porn or masturbation when entering puberty.. While for me, despite my innocent demeanour, I had been jacking off for quite some time to scenes of hot looking lesbians, 3 some's, orgies and good olf fashion hardcore porn. I didn't know how to tell them that I didn't have wet dreams because of all the 'day dreams' I have been having in my living room.

By the time I was in high school, my mind had been filled with so much hardcore porn (thanks to my dad's rather extensive collection), I was only too aware of the blossoming young girls around me, and that was where my habit of imagining other females in their nakedness began. I started fantasizing about how it would be like to have sex with them.. or how it would feel like to have sex at all....

Then there was also the issue of size, or the lack of it. Having never seen any other adult male penis before, I never really knew what to expect. For one.. nearly all the men in pornos have circumcised dicks.... and nearly all of them were rather well endowed with length, girth or both.
Is resulted in me having some... ahem..., doubts over just how big my dick was supposed to get. This of course relates to men's eternal obsession over the size of their manhood. I mean, at 13, you think "Hey, I've just hit puberty... its just starting.. maybe it will 'come of age' in a few years... bu they you reach 16, and you start to think "Erm.. what? That's it? Come on!"... I was of course measuring to impossible standards. I had come to expect that everyone man's cock should be the size of a small baton. And my baton was... let just say.... smaller than I'd hope but good enough to do the job OK.. :p.. There was no comfort to be found online or through research when I found out that the average penis size of orientals (such as yours truly) were consistently at the lower end of the band (see study). All my Malay and Indian friends had a great time joking about it.. Thank goodness no one was crazy enough to have a 'show and tell' comparison among friends.

And what's the deal with circumcision and foreskin? Friends who did circumcise said the rest of us were 'dirty' or that circumcision gave women more pleasure! The nerve! Plus, circumcised cocks look the way cocks are supposed to look while the rest of us had 'turtle heads'...Geeezz.. that sure gave me some pretty lasting self esteem issues to deal with. I mean.... When in puberty, we all need time to adjust to our changing bodies... having this issue of torpedo vs turtle head kinda just made it worse. I pour over online articles and forums just trying to find out what was the deal with circumcision and if there was indeed any significance to it.. Some people said foreskin enhanced sensitivity and pleasure and gave it a natural layer of protection.. others said circumcision gave men better endurance and was more hygienic...And I thought only women had complicated issues to deal with during puberty..

Of course, till today, I can't really be really 100% sure if women find men with monster cocks more a turn on the way we men find women with bigger breast a turn on. Or if having a foreskin is any issue at all... If you follow what porn movies tell you, you need to have a circumcised 8 inch cock to be able to get laid by women, or you need to be black.. then which your cock is 10 inch by default. S0, there I was at 16, still hoping my body would eventually grown into what I thought was the norm. You'd think that only women wish to become physically desirable to men... but the truth was..... I wished for the same thing too throughout my teen years. Just like how I looked lustily upon a beautiful woman, I too had fantasies about being looked at in the same way by women. I think watching too much porno made me imagine every real life scenario could potentially turn into something sexual and that every woman had this pent up sexual desire for the men around them.

Of course, I was and remain anything but a stud. If you are looking for a 200 pound hot and muscular piece of man meat to be your fuck buddy.. well.... you'll have to close more than just one eye for me to qualify. Fantasies remain fantasies, and I had no delusions that women could ever look at me in that lusty way. I resigned my fate to being the ever loved but never lusted Mr. Nice Guy.

But hey, a man can dream right?

So there you go.. one little secret of mine I have NEVER ever told a single soul.