The Obedient Wives Club

Obedient Wives Club to offer sex lessons

It's things like this that make Malaysia such an entertaining (albeit embarrasing) place to live sometimes.

A bunch of Muslim housewives, spearheaded by a group of former polygamy advocators are offering sex lessons to wives so that they can "serve their husbands better than a first class prostitute.".. because "a husband who was kept happy in the bedroom would have no reason to stray, seek out prostitutes or indulge in other social vices."

I know I should be outraged at the blatant sexism and all.. but honestly, I'm just amused.

Just HOW are they going to pull off these lessons?

I think it's safe to assume that tha vast majority of adults of our times have never received any sort of 'formal' lessons on how to have sex. So how are a bunch of tudung wearing housewives going to teach other housewives how to serve it up better than a first clast prostitute in bed? Will they have 'practical sessions' i.e. voyuerism? Or perhaps use some visual aids i.e. porn? Or will they just use cucumbers and doughnuts as tools?

Secondly, how will these 'trainers' even know how a first class prostitute performs in bed? What would be the qualification criteria for these trainers? How do you know if you're up to par with the best of prostitutes without having some prior knowledge or experience?


It's silly to say lack of a lack of mind blowing sex at home is the source of all social ills. But I suspect most men aren't about to complain (too much) about it anyway. It's every mans dream come true if their wife / girlfriend is a lady in public but a nympho in bed.

The way I see it, the only way this is going to work is that these women will have to be already somewhat kinky. You WILL need to have watched some (or a lot) porn, you WILL have to be fairly adventurous in bed, you WILL have to know and be willing to do everything a professional would do. EVERYTHING. And frankly, if you're that kinky, I doubt you'd be promoting sex classes under a religious banner, with tudung and all.... 

My guess is, this it'll all just end up like this scene. 

Gary Goes to Jail

I know this is a bit late, but I guess you've heard by now that Gary Ng's going to jail...

Apparently, when not busy humping the 500 or so women on camera, Gary was preoccupied with forgery, housebreaking, theft, criminal breach of trust and unlawfully having someone else's identity card.

He says he did it only because his job as a real estate agent couldn't sustain him. Poor guy.... if I was humping that many prostitutes a week, I'd be broke too.

Just as well, he should have been arrested a long time ago anyway.... for all the crappy amateur porn of himself he made all of us watch.

Not that I'm happy the dude got thrown into jail, but at least I know for the next 50 months there will be no more Gary Ng sex videos..... unless he starts humping the other inmates too..

Cheers! 

Porn Blog This Ain't

If you’re wondering why I haven’t posted anything here of late, it’s really because of this; I’m waiting to see if this blog will die a natural death if I leave it alone long enough. I was kind expecting that with the lack of any updates that people will lose interest. But apparently it’s not for some reason. And I think that reason is ‘sex’ rather than my actual writing skills. The world is perpetually craving for sex.

I can write the stupidest, shallowest most meaningless post here, slap a picture of a naked woman and tag the word ‘sex’ and ‘fuck’ all over it and it will very surely get more pageviews than if I sat down and spent 2 hours writing out something really honest truth about something. Most people are more interested in quick fucks rather than long lasting relationships. And that’s how I see this blog sometimes – that most people surfing all this ‘sex blogs’ are really just looking for some sort of thrill… similar to the ones you get in a quick fuck.

I know this for a fact because I actually have a separate blog which I do my actual blogging and then there’s this one – some weird manifestation of my alter ego. It’s this one, and not the other that gathers all the attention. And that’s natural, because no one really wants to listen to another person rant on and on about their life and read paragraphs and paragraphs of emo shit. But everyone wants to see cleavage, everyone wants pussy, everyone a piece of ass. We all want to see and read about who and how other people are fucking in bed. And I see that’s what a lot of the more popular sex blogs offer… which to me… just changes the whole thing from ‘sex blog’ to ‘porn blog’. I love porn… but too much of it just melts your brain and make you retarded.

Sex is a powerful motivator, but it’s an oversexed world out there. Every conceivable desire is deliberately tied back to sex; gadgets, beer, car, cloths, drinks etc; virtually all of them have a seductive woman in its advertisement. We all want sex, and when you link sex to that thing.. by extension, you will want that too.

Writing with sex as a theme isn’t that hard. You just talk ready crudely; say ‘fuck’ a lot and write everything from the perspective or a horny bastard, put in a few witty lines, lots of naked photos, and link to every Tom, Dick and Harry also doing the same thing.

But it’s hard for me, because after a while, you start feeling incredibly shallow… and HOLLOW. When you isolate sex out of the context it’s meant to be in, namely proper relationships, you’re essentially removing a shell from its body. Outwardly, it still looks yummy and exciting but it’s only a matter of time before the whole thing crumbles apart from the inside. Horniness is a fleeting sensation. It can’t stand on its own for very long. And so I’ve refrain from any sort of post at all. I could reveal more and write about my actual sex experiences, which woman, where, how etc. But just so you know, I’m very old fashioned. A gentleman shouldn’t kiss and tell. Even if it’s all kept anonymous, I owe it to them to treat the matter with respect and discretion. If I do write something, it should be done tastefully and in proper light; not ‘hey-look-I-banged-one-more’ (which would actually be more popular)

I was just reading about a certain sex porn blogger who’s actually organizing a massive gang bang between 2 women and probably half the male population in Singapore. On the surface, that does sound like some pretty crazy, wacked up shit…. considering they are opening it to all their regular readers. But I just can’t help but wonder; what is this, community service? For the ladies, It’s your body, your dignity. If you want to make it free access to one and all….well……. whatever tickles your fancy OK…. For the men, would you really want to dip your stick into somewhere every other dude’s sticking theirs? Where’s the thrill and enjoyment in that? Where’s the passion?

Sex is about passion more than anything else. It’s not just dick and pussy all rubbing together.

Anyway, I’m not here to impose my moral values on anyone. Who am I to tell you how to live your life.

For all the pageview I see this blog get, I just can’t help but wonder… is anyone even getting the things I’ve written? Or are you all just searching for the page with the juicy story and the naked pictures? Because there really is none.

The Grandma that Blows

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Corporate Strategy on Abstinence

I got to give it to the our local government sometimes. They really know how to entertain you.

Today's headline news was No Sex Please, We Are Students

In fact, this was actually brought up in Parliament. The government wants to go on a campaign to tell students not to have sex until their married.
 
It cited that there were 21 cases of pregnancies out of wedlock last year (assuming in university). I wonder what kind of retarded source they're getting their data from. I also suspect that the Ministry of Education has it's offices based on Pluto......

Because wake up Auntie.... almost everyone... E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E ... is screwing around these days. Be them Muslims, Christians, Buddhist or terrorist. If the former Health Minister was screwing around, do you really think healthy, hot blooded, horny, hormone induced young students experiencing total freedom away from home for the very first time are going to abstain?

LOL.......

I think not. If you want to teach them that they should wait until they get, married.... They will be thinking "Fuck, who knows when THAT will be.. I can't wait that long..." and bang... someone's getting lucky tonight. I don't know about other people, but by the time I was 16, I already knew there was no way I was to 'wait till the right one' before I started engaging in sex.

If you REALLY want to do something constructive.... just prepare a simple slide show presentation of STDs and AIDS with the most gory and disturbing pictures you can find of peoples deformed genitalia... LIKE THIS:

 FUCK AROUND, AND THIS COULD BE YOU.....

 FUCK AROUND, AND THIS COULD BE YOU.....

Then for dramatic effect, take 2 dozen condoms and fling it in the air and say

"Fuck around and use one of these if you think you're so smart....But did you know that even condom companies dare not 100% guarantee the effectiveness of their product?"

"The good news is, if you do ever get  HIV / AIDS you can screw around as much as you want from then on... Cuz you're as good as a goner anyway. Most STDs can be controlled, but never cured."

Perhaps one on one, proper reasoning and debate would convince a person to abstain for  higher purposes. But I tell you my friend, if you want an effective abstinence programme to work in this country... you need to strike more than just the fear of God in peoples hearts.. You need to include Syphilis, Gonorrhea, Scabs, Herpes and good old HIV.....

Didn't they teach you that in school?

Cheers.

P/S: Someone should seriously hire me as a Sex Education Consultant... :-P

Cow Gets Thrown Into Sea After Being Raped by Horny Young Man

Did you read this? 

Teenager Passes Out Marrying Cow He Had Sex With

"In his defence, Alit admitted to the act of bestiality but claimed the cow, which he believed was a young and beautiful woman, had wooed him with flattering compliments."

Boy did I get a kick out of reading that.

There are only 2 possibilities. Either he's a real hardcore BBW (Big Beautiful Women) fan with seriously in need of new glasses... or he's totally into bestiality a.k.a Animal Sex a.k.a Screwing your neighbourhood cow.

But I think the prospect of going to Bali for a holiday may seem somewhat less appealing for some after read this, especially for those who are big and fat, or were born a cow.

I pity the guy. I mean, I'd faint too if I were told I had to marry a cow (of the animal variant I mean... though the human one's pretty bad too). But then again, he should have thought twice before sticking his dick where no man has gone before. He said he thought she was a women seducing him with flattering comments. I guess "MoooOoo" is some sort of pick up line in Bali. 

The part I didn't quite like was when they actually drowned the cow. That's not right. I think the cow had more right to faint and the guy deserved to be thrown in the sea. 

The proper headline should be "Cow Gets Thrown Into Sea After Being Raped by Horny Young Man"

Cheers people

Panty Sniffing

I just read about this serial panties sniffer living on the east coast. The police were raiding his house thinking he was paddling drugs. They didn't find any, but he was addicted to something alright.


Movies have often portrayed sexual perverts to be guys who jump into other peoples backyards and steal women's panties to sniff while jacking off or something. I always thought stuff like that belong in the movies and never in real life. But I guess even the movies had to get their ideas from somewhere.

This whole panties sniffing thing has always fascinated to me. Something about consuming the smell of a woman's vaginal secretions is suppose to turn them on. It's almost like their harmless little way of 'getting a piece' of the woman without actually having her. Like they get to experience not the sexual sight or touch of another woman, but at least the smell of it. The thing that intrigues me is that these urges can be so powerful to them that they actually go out and steal some panties to get high. I wonder how many people are there really out there with this sort of neurotic obsession.

But there is one thing I do know... it is the alluring power of a woman's scent. I know I've said this many times before, but a woman's scent really is a major turn on for many man.. well... at least THIS man right here. I find that women generally smell very good, and each woman has a distinct smell. To tell you the truth, it turns me on. It attracts me to them, it makes me want to draw close... like how a bee can't help itself from being attracted to honey. I think smell stimulates me more than usual compared to other guys. Most men are very visual creatures. They respond primarily to visual stimulation - cleavage, short skirt.. anything that reveals skin. Those things DO turn me on too... but when you add that with a whiff of a woman's natural scent... I find it practically irresistible.

But let me just make this clear OK... I don't steal and sniff womens panties.

Frequent Sex = Good Grades

Did you read this?

http://www.dailychilli.com/news/4074-teachers-tip-have-sex-every-night

So this teacher goes on to win an award for excellence. He goes up stage,and effectively tells the whole nation "You want good grades? You want a healthy lifestyle? Get some!" Hahahaha......

Here's the little bastard's face:

"So remember kids, stay in school. Don't do drugs. Get laid regularly..."

So the secret to excellence is seems.. it to read a little every night (he didn't specify if it should be Playboy or Penthhouse) and get jiggy with your wife like there's no tomorrow, failing which, you will have dash all hopes of winning an award like said fellow. The guy's a freaking rabbit I tell you....

Damn. Here I was thinking we actually have to do stuff like exercise, and eat healthily... when in fact, this guy has just pretty much confirm what all men suspected all along : Getting laid is the key to success...

I just have one question: Does masturbating count?

Twincest

I felt quite amused reading this article:

Gay porn's most shocking taboo - Pornography - Salon.com

Then, I watched some of the video's and then it just felt weird.

First of all they're twin brothers - damn hunky ones at that. Then, they both happen to be gay too. And to top it all off, they literally fuck each other. Seriously. Ass hole and all.... The horsing by the beach wouldn't feel so weird if they were just two regular (heterosexual) brothers... but I was half expecting them to kiss each other at any moment.

The media aptly names it twincest.

Does it get any more taboo than that?

And this isn't some gay porno shit where it's all role play for the camera. This is REAL. They really are brothers and lovers.

The article talks about how even among the gay community, this is really pushing the envelope and considered quite extreme. I kind of chuckled at that. It's OK to fuck another man if you like penises and hairy assholes instead of boobs and pussies... but not if the dude is your brother, because that would be an abomination? Really? I can't really see how the logic works. If the homosexual point of defense is that this is who they are hence they shouldn't be discriminated against, couldn't the incestuous couples say the same thing? If you allow one concession - that it's OK to be gay on the basis that it is their natural (albeit dysfunctional) disposition, why not will you not allow the other? Its the pot calling the kettle black.

I'm not defending incest... neither am I trying to pick on homosexuals. But for me, the day you declared that it's OK for two men to kiss and fuck each other, you kinda loose your right to outrage when you see a guy fuck his own brother... or sister for the matter.

But then again, by the same token, I don't really have a right to speak out against gay men kissing or hugging in public either.... especially when I (along with 99% of the heterosexual male population) find lesbian sex scene totally awesome.

Live and let live I guess.....

Cheers.......

Poor Jack Neo - Women Not Enuf

I imagine he must be feeling just like one of his movie characters right now.

Is it just me, or is the world and the media only too eager to crucify public figures these days? It's like we're all hungry for blood. It's the whole Tiger Woods episode all over again. 

Personally, I'm reluctant to persecute the guy. The guy knows how to tell a story. He's movie Money Not Enough 2 single-handedly brought yours truly and half a dozen of his male friends close to tears. . His movies portray the true facets of living life in a competitive, consumer driver society like Singapore with all honesty. The characters he create are often less than perfect people. They don't pretend to be anything other than flawed human beings just trying to balance doing what's right and what they selfishly desire for themselves.

Isn't that a lot like you and me....and him?

Give him a break. He's Singapore's most successful film maker, not Singapore's biggest saint.

Let him lick his wounds and seek forgiveness from his wife. He's just human. And to er is human. But to forgive is divine. And I like to believe that there is a piece of the divine in all of us.

Sex Robot? WTF Man?

I read this in shock:

World’s first sex robot wants to hold hands



Something is seriously wrong here.. Seriously. The most surprising part of it all was in the end, that said

"In a 2007 book, Love and Sex with Robots, British chess player and artificial intelligence expert David Levy argues that robots will become significant sexual partners for humans, answering needs that other people are unable or unwilling to satisfy"

Robots will become a SIGNIFICANT sexual partner for humans? WTF man? Since when can a robot ever replace our needs as people, for sex and companionship? I can't decide which is worse, talking and making love to a goat or talking and making love to a robot.

I speak as someone that's seriously lacking any sex or companionship of late. No matter how lonely, how horny, how needy you are, I don't think talking to a robot (or a goat for the matter) is going to cut it. You need a real life human being, with two eyes, two ears, lips, a biological heart and of course, a compatible reproductive system. No batteries (or tail). Can you imagine how sad and pathetic it would be to be sitting there, flirting, talking and hitting on a robot you can programme to say anything?

Sex is one of the most powerful things that connect two people together. Whether it's a one night stand, a casual fuck or a long term thing, sex always feels good to us because you are literally connected to that other person. They are one with you, you are one with them.. and since we are all hard wired for connection, establishing that connection feels fucking great.

And what about this? A robot is lifeless.... How the hell are you supposed to connect with a robot? What kind of needs could a robot fulfill that another human being cannot? A big, fat, stinky, old man/woman would do a better job satisfying your needs that a robot will be able to. Heck... I think even the goat will fare better. :-S

But then again, we all know better than to take sex and love advice from a chess player, no matter how intelligent he is.

Poor Tiger Woods

Am I the only one who is pitying Tiger Woods?

In case you haven't heard, Tiger Woods, arguably one of the most talented and dominating golfer of all time is now sort of in hot soup. He crashed is car into a tree, under suspicion of drinking or something. His wife had to smash his car window with a golf club to save his ass out of the car or something and he had to be sent to the hospital for a very brief while No major injuries. Nothing at all.

SOMEHOW, somewhere in between crashing his car, and his wife smashing his window, people started talking even more about Tiger Woods having an affair outside. How this even ties back to his car crash totally eludes me. The guy then starts talking about 'transgressions' and finally 'infidelity' and no is taking an indefinite break from golf to mend his family affairs. And now, everyone is waiting to see if major sponsors will start distancing themselves from him. All this talk about how it would 'damage his career' etc etc starts getting reported over the world.

And in all of this..... I was just thinking to myself

"Why the F**K is this being blown into such big proportions?"

First of all, Tiger Woods became an icon because of his golfing talents, not because of his 'moral integrity'. Secondly, despite now knowing that he screwed someone other than his wife, the man is still remains the best player in his sport. Thirdly, he ain't the first, nor will he be the last man (famous or otherwise) to be have cheated outside of his marriage. So why the hell is the media so intently making a big deal out of the whole issue?

I'm not saying the world should just pretend like it's no big deal. It is a screw up on his part. First for doing it. Then for being caught. But it's a personal matter, and it's got nothing to do with his professional life. David Beckham was caught cheating with the nanny. Did he get his sponsorship deals revoked? President John F. Keneddy was caught with Marilyn Monroe. Did he get impeached? Even good old Bill Clinton survived 2 expose's in his time in office. Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi 'consorts' with young beautiful women, and last time I checked, yup, he's still PM (albeit with a broken nose). And mind you, Italy is right where the Pope is, and even he hasn't said a thing.

I mean.... report it in the news if you have to. But all this over sensationalizing the issue just gets on my nerves. The news just goes on and on about how such a 'clean image' icon like Tiger Woods could do such things. Everyone's shocked. Everyone's surprised. *scoff* Tell me something; are you people really that naive? Or MAYBE... you're feigning it. Cuz really.... this ain't exactly THAT sensational a news you know.

Last I checked, he was still playing in the PGA, not the LPGA tour. Which means the guy still carries two balls with him after tee-ing off the driveway. When you have balls, I think it's safe to say you are a man. And when you are a man, I think it's safe to say that the possibility to cheat IS THERE. It always is. The richer, the more powerful, and the higher up you are in life.... the more likely it can happen. It's just a fact. So Tiger Woods cheated too. So? All it has proven is that though on the green he's considered a golfing god, off the green, he's still a normal human being. He faces the same challenges as everyone else, he battles the same demons. And just like everyone else, he screwed up big time too. 

Give the man a break. He doesn't owe the world, nor the media any explanation. He doesn't need to make any statements, nor take a break from the game to 'repent for his transgressions'. People don't watch Tiger Woods playing golf because of his 'outstanding moral fibre'... they watch because he does amazing things with his balls. (That came out sounding funnier than intended). The only people he does need to make amends with is his family.


And we all know he ain't getting any sex anytime soon anyway.

Poor Tiger.

This lucky S.O.B... is my idol.

You see this guy right here? Well, at the moment.......he's my freaking idol. Or more like fucking idol.

In case you haven't heard, this dude right here was formally known as some professional photographer. But today, he's mostly known as the lucky-son-of-a-b*tch who's threesome sex tape with Ms. Japan 2008 and Ms Trinidad & Tobago 2008 has been leaked onto the internet.

Another sex tape you wonder? I mean, after Paris Hilton and Dr. Chua Soi Lek (our former minister), Gary Ng and Edison Chen, you'd wonder if this was even news worthy anymore. Sex tape only mah... what's the big deal?

The big deal is....... the footage........It's raw, it's real.. it's SMOKING HOT!

In case you haven't seen it, parts of the video here but you gotta search elsewhere to find the missing first half, which features Ms. Japan in some much hotter action. First half of the video has little Ms. Japan giving our dude here a blowjob before being pounded in the ass by our hero here. Maybe Ms Japan doesn't do it up the ass often, or maybe she likes it too much, but BOY.. she is SCREAMING HER LUNGS OUT.. and when he's done, she has this "Oh.. MY.. F'in GOD.." look on her face. And who's filming them? Ms. TnT of course!!

After some cute jokes and a giggle he asks Ms. Japan "Do you want to film me fucking her (Ms TnT).." and she starts Ms. TnT in action with said lucky bastard who starts out doing doggy style before changing to ride on top of him and yes, anal too.

I watched the entire footage, mouth agape, cock hard as a rock, wondering to myself "How the fuck did this guy get so lucky? Having a threesome is one thing. Have a threesome with 2 hotties is another.... but having a threesome with 2 national pageant winners?????????? THAT.. IS.. FUCKING... WICKED... DUDE.

I suppose he sort of knew that himself, cuz there's this one moment when the dude has the biggest, goofiest grin on his face when pounding Ms. Japan in the ass from behind that said something to the extent "Look at me ma, I'm pounding Ms. Japan in the ass, and I'm about to pound Ms. TnT too!"

When you hear me, and the rest of the male population calling him a lucky son of a b*tch.. it's our way of begrudgingly acknowledging that the guy has just did something all other men only dream about. And in my current ultra hyped up state of horniness, you just want to fucking HATE THE DUDE!! I mean, how do you think it makes a person feel, when he can't even get laid normally, and then he hears about a dude, who takes pictures for a living, gets to screw cute little Japan AND and sultry Ms TnT.....at the SAME TIME!!...There should be a law against boinking 2 beauty queens at one time I tell you.

The only other person I can think of that might match this guy... is none other than George Best.. the legendary Manchester United player. God rest his soul now that he's dead, but George Best is considered a real legend among Man Utd fans... but he wasn't famous just for kicking a ball around like he owned the field. He was known to be a heavey drinker, and a real charmer (read womanizer). So much so that he was said to have dated and bedded countless countless hot beauty queens and models and actresses........ You can never be sure of which part of his life they are referring to when people call him The Legend; what he could do with a ball.... or what /who he did with HIS BALLS?

But I doubt even George Best had a threesome with two beauty queens.. which is why our lucky bastard over here, also deserves some sort of salute also la..........which is why for at least this moment, this guy is my idol!!

Lets Move to Singapore!!

Quick one here...

Switching sex partners a hit with Singaporeans

I'm seriously thinking I should MOVE TO SINGAPORE...Seems to be where all the fun is Hahahaha...

I'll be there next week anyways.

Newsflash : Bangla Orgies in Raub

Three women caught at sex orgy with 19 men

I guess there's more going on in Raub than just plantations....

Gang bang baby!.... Damn, I didn't know these Bangladeshis knew how to have so much fun!!
Hahaha..

On the first day of Hari Raya too! Maybe they were fasting and abstaining from more than just food during the Ramadhan month.

But why only 3 for all 19 dudes? Tak cukup budget izit? Or as it buy two get one free? The women had to stay 2~3 days to 'satisfy the lust of the Bangladeshis'.... :-S Not exactly the kind of assignment you'll look forward to as a prostitute eh? If 19 of them had to pool money to share 3 women, I'm pretty sure the money ain't that good.

Whatever happened to 'satisfying the lust of the Malaysians'?

Cheers to the Bangladeshis, for knowing how to look for a good time, even if they have no money!!

But oh ya.... sorry your party got crashed by the police. Save up your money boys... maybe next time you can afford 4!!

Sex headlines around the World..

I'm not your regular starbucks coffee drinker. I don't know about you.. but paying RM10 for a simple cup of coffee, no matter how good, is just a bit crazy, especially if you plan to do it on a regular basis. The only times when I do go to starbucks is when I want a nice comfy environment to do some surfing / blogging, or when I'm out having a drink with someone. In which case, I don't consider myself paying for the coffee at all, but for place to hang out in style.

Anyway, I sat down for coffee last Saturday, but doing neither of the above. I didn't even have my laptop with me, and I wasn't even planning to be there. You don't exactly just waltz into starbucks on Saturday morning in your slippers, shorts and lousy shirt and still expect to be looking cool sipping your little caramel macchiato. But it was either that or be stuck in hour long traffic jam caused by these stupid anti-ISA protesters marching around the city.

"What the hell" I thought... I'm not there to impress any girls anyway. I bought the daily paper and walked straight into the store...

errmm.. uummmh.. lets see.... Damn.. I didn't even know what I wanted. How come they don't serve Kopi-O in starbucks? Teh-Ais? No?... Oh ya.. that was in Ipoh Old Town Coffee.. duh. I could hardly hear myself think as the ever helpful staff behind the counter practically bombarded me with all sorts of suggestions..... Tea? Coffee? Hot? Cold? Milk? No milk? Tall? Medium? Small? Just RM 1 difference? Combo meal? You want fries with that? (OK, that last one didn't happen). Who knew you'd have so many decisions to make on a lazy saturday morning just ordering cofee? I sometimes wonder how many customers like me these people come across in a day.

She practically made my decision for me. Hot Caramel Macchiato it was then. Never had THAT before (whatever that is).. oh.. and some finger sandwiches. Oh well..

Coffee? Check.
Sandwich? Check.
Papers? Check.
Paper to scribble my thoughts for later blogging? Double check.

So I just sat there for like 3 hours, doing nothing but reading newspapers. Can you believe that? It felt so long since I just sat around and read the daily papers. Quite enjoyable really, reading all the going ons in the world. I was actually surprised at how much sex was peppered all around the papers.. Here are top 3 that I remembers that was kind of interesting.

Lonely widow surfs web for one night stands
Was this even news worthy? I mean.. 27 year old woman looking for sex via the net.This is first world, urbanized Singapore we are talking about right?. Is that really something you'd want to publish? People probably fuck around and have one nights stands ALL THE TIME on that island (ahem.. not that I would know la.). They must really be running out of things to write.. or all of them must be a bunch of prudes or something. If she was 72, not THAT would be newsworthy.

Hey, you guys down in Singapore! Would you please give the woman a helping hand (and cock)? Go find her, take the lady out on a nice dinner, lie through your teeth about how beautiful you think she looks in that dress and show her a good time la.. 27 year old available woman looking for a one night stand...Economics 101. Got demand but no freaking supply! WTF!? Don't make me come down there and do it for you ok.... unless she's damn hot :P

Cult sex leader charge for having sex orgy
Now, THIS guy.. He really got it going on. What Singapore lady above should have done was to fly to Jakarta and meet this guy. I mean, he made 2 couples have an orgy while he and his 2 teenage girlfriends watch on. Those who had sex were the 'chosen warriors from the belly of the world'..lol.. What a bowl of crap man. But still...... Talk about livin la vida loca.. Shit, you know what? I should have become a sex cult leader.. Body and mind spirituality and all the crazy sex with tonnes of women who flock to you for enlightenment. Why did I have to go to freaking university? I should have just flew to India or something and study the Kama Sutra or something. The men will be called 'lucky bastards of the brainless dicks' and the women will be called 'Heavenly maidens from the land of happiness' or something like that la.. I'm still working on it.

Saudi man jailed for talking about sex life on TV
Now this guy... So kesian. All he did was talk about how many he 'scored' and now he's eating probably eating vegetarian kebabs in jail. In some other article, it reported that his modus operandi was to send out random bluetooth messages to women at malls for a hook up. It seems if you talk to a woman in a public place there, you can get your ass kicked. (I wonder if I could tried that here.. the bluetooth part.....not the ass kick). What he SHOULD have done was take some of his oil money, fly to Indonesia and join a cult and become another 'chosen warriors from the belly of the world'. I tell you, that guy got jailed too, but he did it in a much cooler fashion.

So I'm thinking.. maybe forget about trying to find a fuck buddy in Singapore.. as much as I work there and kinda like it in certain ways, I might get published for saying I need a screwing. Forget about getting an oil and gas job in Saudi.. cuz I might get my ass kicked if I ask a woman for directions..Plus picking women up via bluetooth sounds seriously lame..What I really need to do, is migrate to Indonesia and start my cult practice. Long beards, white robes and just talk a bit like Yoda from Star Wars."Fucking, do we must, now." said the wise one... can't be too hard right?

Anyway.. If I ever became a headliner here for writing this blog, I wonder what it would say. "Horny Quasimodo look-a-like blogs away about non existent fuck buddy"...

Ya.. I think that would be about it.

Cheers! Happy reading!