Buying Lingerie.....
Ladies,
Here's a plea from us ok. Don't bring your husbands / boyfriends / partner when you are shopping for lingerie. There's a few reasons I say this. Its not because we don't like you buying new sexy lingerie for our enjoyment and all... I mean.. we probably love your sexy bra and thong more than you do. And it's not because we don't want to pay for it either (although I do think you are paying an incredible amount of money for such a small amount of material). But here are 3 reasons why sometimes, it's better that you just leave us to our devices at the computer / hardware shop rather than take us into the lingerie shop.
1. We stare
Make no mistake about it.. A lingerie shop is actually a man's heaven. There are pictures of scantily clad women all around the walls; and you're even SUPPOSED to look at them. So we stare at the posters.. and sometimes we even salivate and drool.. which might piss you off. Then there are OTHER women, also looking for lingerie, holding up bra's and thongs thinking which one looks best.. and we start staring at them too, albeit in a less obvious manner... (See the problem?) And since we are where we are, the topic of conversation around us will of course be about breasts and bums and covering your pussy.. which incidentally happens to be our favourite topic.. which gets us extremely naughty. But you aren't supposed to get a hard on or horny in public.. so we try to be good and not look at any of these women and posters, or hear any of these conversation... and so.. we stare into nothingness... We blank out and insulate ourselves in our feeble attempts at trying to be a gentleman. and then you get pissed off at us because you may think we aren't interest at all. ON THE CONTRARY WOMAN! Is quite the opposite really.
2. In there, its nice to see, but not allowed to hold - we can't deal with that.
1. We stare
Make no mistake about it.. A lingerie shop is actually a man's heaven. There are pictures of scantily clad women all around the walls; and you're even SUPPOSED to look at them. So we stare at the posters.. and sometimes we even salivate and drool.. which might piss you off. Then there are OTHER women, also looking for lingerie, holding up bra's and thongs thinking which one looks best.. and we start staring at them too, albeit in a less obvious manner... (See the problem?) And since we are where we are, the topic of conversation around us will of course be about breasts and bums and covering your pussy.. which incidentally happens to be our favourite topic.. which gets us extremely naughty. But you aren't supposed to get a hard on or horny in public.. so we try to be good and not look at any of these women and posters, or hear any of these conversation... and so.. we stare into nothingness... We blank out and insulate ourselves in our feeble attempts at trying to be a gentleman. and then you get pissed off at us because you may think we aren't interest at all. ON THE CONTRARY WOMAN! Is quite the opposite really.
2. In there, its nice to see, but not allowed to hold - we can't deal with that.
Now, why would you want to bring your man in the first place? For him to give his opinion right? How does he give his opinion? You try it on for him to see right?.... Well, when you do... and open that door for us to see you in that sexy outfit... well.... we stare (again), and this time, you obviously aren't going to get upset or anything.. but....then our mind goes equally blank.. because we start to get horny. We want to reach out there.. and squeeze that glorious bosom of yours and that tight ass... but we aren't allowed to, and so we just stare.... and drool.... and salivate and when you ask if it looks good, we invariably say yes all the time to all of them. Its not the bra we are saying yes to.. its the half exposed cup of breast and that firm bum of yours we are going gaga over, clouding our judgment. We add no value to your selection process and just stand there like a dumb ass.. THEN you get angry.
The exception is of course if you are wearing one of those bra that look like a bullet proof vest and grandma panties the size of....well...your grandma's butt.. then we'd actually be shielding our eyes from the pain.
3. We really want whats underneath it anyway
Whatever you buy will be off in 5 minutes of hitting the bed... Yes, it does look nice.. Yes, it is sexy and tantalizing and damn, you look sooo hot, but you'd look even hotter when it comes off!.. So off off off it must come! Maybe this sounds crude..but regardless of what you buy, its gona be the treasure its carry we are after! As long as it looks good, its good enough! When in the state of sexual excitement, our puny little brains can't really process if it was was laced or solid, full or half cup, T back or G-string, wired, padded or what have you... the only real design concern we would probably have is.. how do you take it off? If you really wanted our true opinion, we'd ask you to take the one easiest to remove...if its edible.. all the better!... and that my friend is the truth!
The only saving grace of this whole issue, and the only thing capable of keeping us in check in the lingerie shop is of course the sales promoters.. Or rather, all the 'aunties' selling them. How come you seldom if ever at all see hot beautiful women selling bra's and panties? Of course, that would result in us doing #1 above again.. All the women selling these things are either our mom or aunties age.. and they just take the whole sex and sexual fun of buying langerie out of the whole thing. I'm probaly wrong of course, and there's probably a lot of younger sales promoter.. But I always notice the aunties around... often recommending the giant bullet proof bra and grandma panties combination to unsuspecting women... The evils of it all! There should be a law~! Speaking of which, if you really not in the mood to entertain uncross your legs on a bad night, just put one of those on... we'll probably scurry off sooner than you can say "better support"....
Cheers...
Whatever you buy will be off in 5 minutes of hitting the bed... Yes, it does look nice.. Yes, it is sexy and tantalizing and damn, you look sooo hot, but you'd look even hotter when it comes off!.. So off off off it must come! Maybe this sounds crude..but regardless of what you buy, its gona be the treasure its carry we are after! As long as it looks good, its good enough! When in the state of sexual excitement, our puny little brains can't really process if it was was laced or solid, full or half cup, T back or G-string, wired, padded or what have you... the only real design concern we would probably have is.. how do you take it off? If you really wanted our true opinion, we'd ask you to take the one easiest to remove...if its edible.. all the better!... and that my friend is the truth!
The only saving grace of this whole issue, and the only thing capable of keeping us in check in the lingerie shop is of course the sales promoters.. Or rather, all the 'aunties' selling them. How come you seldom if ever at all see hot beautiful women selling bra's and panties? Of course, that would result in us doing #1 above again.. All the women selling these things are either our mom or aunties age.. and they just take the whole sex and sexual fun of buying langerie out of the whole thing. I'm probaly wrong of course, and there's probably a lot of younger sales promoter.. But I always notice the aunties around... often recommending the giant bullet proof bra and grandma panties combination to unsuspecting women... The evils of it all! There should be a law~! Speaking of which, if you really not in the mood to entertain uncross your legs on a bad night, just put one of those on... we'll probably scurry off sooner than you can say "better support"....
Cheers...
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