Seeing Singapore...through my squinty eyes

The thing I've always liked about traveling to a new place is that you see the same things as the locals do, but with fresh eyes. The very same things the people of the land find normal, you find unique. Whenever I get the chance to be in a foreign land, be in another country or another state, I enjoy picking up bits and pieces of what makes that place different. Here's are some small little observations I've made of Singapore... just as I travel around the city:

#1 There's a Merc, BMW or Lexus in every corner

Unlike in other cities where the luxury vehicles are mainly seen in the city centre, Sg seems to have these evenly peppered around the island, unless I keep seeing the same car over and over again! On one hand, I think it's a testimony to the wealth of the country and it's people. On the other, I think it's almost like a mandatory thing for them to have so not to loose face to their neighbours... you know la... the old (dare I say it?).... kiasu behaviour.

#2 Not an inch of free parking space!! WTF?!

I usually drive into Sg... and to my great surprise & amusement.. there is HARDLY A SPOT you can park your car without having to pay. You either pay by cash card or old school style via coupons. Oh, and here, everyone reverse parks.. except those freaking Malaysia car drivers who never obey the laws of the land. :p Back home, you pretty much park your car anywhere you want as long as you're sure you won't get scratched or summoned. By the road, over the curb, in between houses, anything goes. Here, every square inch of parking space is chargeable, and I constantly have to hunt for a 7-Eleven just to make sure I have enough coupons or my Autopass/Cashcard has enough money. Which leads me to my next point.

#3 7-Eleven's in every corner!!

I'm used to having a 7-Eleven nearby in KL. It's what one those things I'm so used to having living in cities. Whenever I go to a slightly more rural town, I'm half amused, half horrified when I find out there isn't a 24hour convenient store around. Not that I frequently feel the need to buy things at 2am's, but just in case la..... 7-Eleven's don't just sell condoms, they are LIKE condoms... Better to have them and not need them, than to need them and not have them. Haha... Anyway, Singapore is FILLED with condoms.. I mean... 7-Elevens.... Every nook and cranny, every corner. It's not a bad thing actually...it's just that I was starting to wonder "Do you really NEED so many?" Is carrying 10 condoms with you going to make any safer than carrying say 1?

#4 Buildings & Infrastructure look good

Most buildings in Singapore look reasonably good and well maintained. You get the sense that it's a well oiled, well run place. The schools especially catch my eyes. Fields are nice and green, buildings look modern. Unlike the kind I used to attend n Malaysia... fields are muddy and dirty.. and all schools looked alike; horrid longish rectangular buildings with triangular roofs. It's like they got some chinaman contractor to do one and decide to replicate that nationwide! At least here, each school looks different.

#5 Trees, trees & more trees

One of the most unexpected thing I notice the first time entering Singapore (via second link) was the trees. They really really make it a point to plant as many trees as possible, especially in the residential areas. But I have been told this isn't so much about Singapore trying to be environmental friendly but more of trying to make this tiny island city less daunting to live in. You don't squeeze in almost 5 million people into 660 sq km of space without first thinking of living arrangements. I was told they plant so many trees so that it becomes less obvious that behind that thick bush there is another road, or another tall condominium, or another HDB flat. The trees also soften the cold hard concrete walls of the buildings, give cool shade and take away that feeling like you're living in a concrete jungle. Not bad la these people.....

#6 Women; Urban, well dressed & howt!

On average, I gotta say, Singaporean women are quite a delicious and desirable bunch, that is, if you dig the well dressed, smart, sophisticated working lady. Black seems to be very much the in thing for the working ladies (unlike in shanghai where I observed they preferred a bit floral). Some are more casual, others more chic, some elegant. But in general, most of the women I see look rather presentable.... and sexy. I don't know why, but every I spot a well dressed lady wearing short little skirt, I kept wondering if she was wearing a thong underneath, or anything at all for the matter.. Tsk.. tsk...tsk.... dirty little me.

#7 Cramped shopping malls, eateries, streets, everything!

5 million people. 660sq km of space. Need I say more? I tried having fast food for dinner. It wasn't fast. I had to join a loOOong queue! You queue to take a taxi, you queue to buy dinner, you queue to withdraw money. There's a freaking queue everywhere! Why can't we just jostle and shove each other like normal people? I thought this was a free market! Survival of the fittest? ;P The only place you don't have to queue to get something is probably Geylang.. and it ain't for the food baby... Jokes aside, I do tend to feel a bit claustrophobic of sorts when in Sg. Everywhere you go there's tonnes of people. The need for physical space is often overlooked, but it's something I'm always aware of. I was sitting in Mc'Ds and the tables were so cramped! More cramped than any other Mc'Ds I've tried in other countries. I could hear every word the auntie next to me was saying. Heck, I could even smell her............ fries. My hats off to all you Singaporean sex bloggers who have actually succeeded having sex in a public place. Considering the level of difficulty, you deserve it. I would've gotten caught long before my pale white ass got any sunlight.

#8 Everything looks same same

After a while of driving around and seeing the place, I started to get this feeling of deja vu all the time. Didn't I just pass by this 7-Eleven? Isn't that the same black Merc there again? Is this the same foodcourt? Is this the same school with the nice looking field? These trees look strangely familiar. Get the point? Everything seems to follow some earlier decided format of how things should look. Everyone drives shiny and clean cars. The condos and HDB flats look so alike there's no way of telling. Unlike other places where downtown is rather scruffy looking and dirty, every inch of Singapore seems pruned to the point of being........ sterile. Not that that's necessarily bad la...

#9 Sex blogs and the gutterpost

OK, this isn't exactly Singapore per se.. but virtual Singapore. The thing that has really caught my attention is the sheer amount of sex blogs Singapore has managed to produce. Maybe it just comes with being urbanized and connected to the world. I mean there really is A LOT of people out there more than happy to type of the intimate details of their sex lives.. some mundane, others bordering on insane. Does it have anything to do with living in a highly dense, highly internationalized, but highly conservative society? Has this produced all this virtual voyeurs who are looking a safe way to express their sexuality?

How many of you visit the gutter post? www.gutteruncensored.com. It's this cool little website that compiles all the latest juicy sex related scandals, videos, pictures etc etc on one site. You ain't a porn star (amateur or likewise) until you've been put there. Everything from great Gary Ng to Edison Chen, to that Philippine doctor and countless leak photographs and videos of people having sex has been featured there. Unfortunately, it's been completely blocked in Malaysia. The author explains here in this other website (unless this is blocked too). See, the blog author won't stop posting controversies of certain Malaysian political big wigs and their sons with their pants down and their hands up other women's asses, and so, these powerful ministers just block their whole damn website from everyone in Malaysia. Fucking idiot. What are we now, like China blocking the Internet? Anyway, so only when I'm in Singapore do I get to catch up with the latest gutter post where it is thankfully NOT banned, unless maybe your PM is caught with HIS pants down. But so far so good. So, thank the stars for Singapore!

#10 Invasion of Indians

If you ever work in Jurong Island, you'll see almost 100% of laborers are Indian nationals, more than half of the engineers are Indian nationals. In Geylang, one of the Lorongs are dedicated to Indian prostitutes (don't ask me how I know, I just do). Meaty, Fat, Old, but cheap and they even smell of coconut oil (which I suppose is a turn on for them Indians?) Dedicated to these hard working labourers who travel thousands of miles away from home to build Singapore, these labourers will screw these Indian prostitutes like it was a matter of national pride, and to keep the money in Indian hands. They'd never be caught with their pants down screwing *gasp* a Pakistani or Bangladeshi. :-s If you go to Serangoon Road on a Sunday, you'll see thousands of Indian labourers hanging about, walking the streets, sitting on the fields, and most bizarrely, HOLDING HANDS (Why the hell do they do that anyway?). They form little group outings, to walk the streets and catch up with each other. I was told they are tightly knit, and whenever there is a new addition to the workforce, he is taken out and is introduced and initiated into the group. Inevitable questions will be such as which village the chap is from, and how far it is from theirs, what their father and mother do and how many brothers and sisters they have. Cute.

I'm not being racist. It's just that it looks like formerly predominately Chinese Singapore with its signature la's and meh's is starting to have some curry and masala in the mix. Better start get used to have curry mee instead of your pork noodles!

Anyway, its just my 2 cents worth as a frequent visitor to this country. I think maybe the Singaporean flag should have a cili padi as its symbol. It's small, but it packs a large punch.