Curb Your Horny-ism

You’d think that doing nothing would be easy enough, but it’s not.

How to stay put when your body is screaming for some loving? How to stay put when the tingles in your loins constantly remind you of the carnal pleasures it so badly wants? How to distract yourself when every time you close your eyes, she appears? Yes, her…. the one you’ve been having countless fantasies of…. the one you think of every time you sit there alone in your room, hundreds of miles away from home… the one you'd pounce on and ravage every other night, if only she'd let you...

Curbing horny thoughts are an immense challenge for a man sometimes. Masturbating helped a bit. But I found myself going back to those scenarios again and again, the ones played out in all those emails.. which just got me hornier. Eventually, I realized I had to stop, else even the cleaner lady downstairs my start looking sexy.

Being in this unique little country of Singapore didn’t help much either. For one, Singapore is filled with stylish looking, nice smelling, and eye pleasing women. Everywhere you go, you see beautiful, well groomed women walking about the central business district. And when you’re feeling horny (like I was), you basically start mentally undressing every hot chick you see. And secondly, there’s the rather well known fact that prostitution is legal in this country. You could technically drive yourself to a brothel and pay a woman to satisfying all your wonton desires, and still have not done anything wrong (in the legal sense anyway).

But it's not just Singapore. There is something about being away from home that somehow shifts your mental behavior. For some reason, I’m always horny when I'm here.. more so than I am back home. I think being in a fresh surrounding, no longer confined by the rules and constraints back home, makes you feel somehow less inhibited. You’re willing to try more things, you’re willing to keep more of an open mind. You don’t walk around thinking you already know what’s there and how things happen. The neighborhood becomes your playground again, its exciting again, and you want to play peek-a-boo with that cute little girl by the swing. Only, she looks stunning in that miniskirt, watching her puff her cigarette turns you on, and peek-a-boo here ends with an additional ‘b’. Peek-a-boob.

In the end I decided that the best way to curb said horniness, was by doing the most unsexy things I could think of… like doing my laundry, and shopping for cleaning detergents, mopping the floor, and of course, cleaning the toilet (all of which I will testify, make you feel terribly unsexy). I also decided that I will buy myself an enormous bag of potato chips as reward / compensation for my noble efforts of trying to stay sexually pure whist away. It seemed like a fair trade off. I should be allowed to be a fat, overweight but honest man, stuffing his mouth with potato chips, for not being the trim, fitter horny bastard, trying to stick his penis into assorted vaginas. It seemed like a good idea anyway…..until I finished the chips. After which, I just felt like a fat, overweight horny bastard who still wanted to stick his penis into assorted vaginas anyway.

So much for the effectiveness of comfort food.

Your emails are evil honey. I love them ;-)

Only One Way

We may screw it all up....

We may end up hurting each other...

Or...

We could really end up

Rocking each others world...

Either way babe...

there's really only one way to find out...

Penis Size

Penis size.

I know the topics as stales as a mouldy burger in a smelly, rotten fridge, but I'm bringing it up anyway.

It matters... especially to the men themselves.


Women generally swear that it doesn't. They say they don't mind men with tiny penises. It's the love that counts. Or at least, the skill. Great things still can be done by if wield your equipment well enough, even if it's just a toothpick (ouch...) It really does feel like a case of women just doing the kind thing in not totally and utterly destroying our egos. They are very much the kinder sex. You'll be hard pressed to ever find a woman openly admitting that size does matter. So far, I've only come across one woman (albeit only virtually) who has been completely honest and blunt about it.

But I'll tell you who it really matters most to. Men themselves.

Men handle their penis on a daily basis. We are intimately familiar with it. And size penis size is mostly pre-destined the day you were born into either a well hung African family with penises that look like batons or a southernly-challenged Oriental family with penises that look like really short chopsticks. Men spend most of their puberty years and early adulthood learning how to live with their pre-destined equipment. Big, long, thick, straight, curve, short, thin or crooked, we live with it, protect it, and even try to be proud of it. Defending its stature is literally defending our manhood.

Our brains are hardwired; penis size = how manly I am. If you see a strong, muscular, dominant alpha male, you'd never imagine he'd have a tiny penis. On the other hand, tiny, weak, geeky, submissive beta males with tiny penises are perfectly imaginable. Alpha males get the women. Beta males don't. And since all men want to be the alpha male, we all want a big, bad ass penis that we can proudly unveil as the pants start dropping.

So when you see the picture of it honey, please remember to see the captions that came with it.


*Objects appears smaller than they are in real life.*

And if you ever see it in real life, here's the caption for it

*Shrinks while cold & limp. Rub & kiss to expand*

:-P

Cheers everyone.

After The Fuck

Have you ever noticed how before you have sex, sex seem like such a big deal. You really feel like you could just die if you don't get some right now. You see a beautiful woman, and you want her, you hear a sexy voice and you want her. Your mind gets consumed by it.You think about the possible candidates you know that just my jump into bed for a short romp with you, and even the most unlikely ones get considered, like maybe your semi-blood related cousin, that girl you exchange dirty emails with, or the cute girl from next door.

And then you get some... and during sex, it really is the most fucking awesome thing you will experience in your life. You're spanking her ass, thrusting hard and giving it to her doggy style and you think to yourself "Oh-My-Fucking-God, I want to have sex 24hrs a day every day." And that thought just gets truer and truer the closer you are to climax.

Climax (or Orgasm) of course just feels like "oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck FUCK YEAH!"

And then the whole things done and you just lie around in Post Coitus bliss for a while, smooching each other, smiling and just wanting to doze off into wonderland.

And then there's the next day.. and everything seems so... well... normal. You see a woman bend over, and the sight of her cleavage doesn't make you want to go jerk off in the bathroom right that instant. You can talk to that girl across the street without imagining her naked. Everything seems less sexed up. You wonder how you ever get so charged up about porn, or getting laid or having a threesome. After all, sex isn't everything in this life.

Of course, we only ever say or think that way after we've just gotten some... or if we get it regularly.

Men always get a bad rap for being horny. If a man openly talks about a sexy women, women roll their eyes and call them perverts. When women openly confess how hot Taylor Lautners abs are, it's supposed to be fine! Men don't roll their eyes in response because, well, we don't have Taylor Lautner's abs.

We're all sexual perverts in one way or another. We are all governed / motivated by our sexual desire. Some have strong impulses, some not so. I will be the first to admit that my sexual desires have let me to places, and made me do things I cannot speak about openly. And I know this is true for almost every normal, functional, sexual human adult.

If you're horny, is it so hard to admit it and be proud of it? It means you're not dysfunctional.

(I am of course, horny as I write this.)

Cheers everybody.

The Obedient Wives Club

Obedient Wives Club to offer sex lessons

It's things like this that make Malaysia such an entertaining (albeit embarrasing) place to live sometimes.

A bunch of Muslim housewives, spearheaded by a group of former polygamy advocators are offering sex lessons to wives so that they can "serve their husbands better than a first class prostitute.".. because "a husband who was kept happy in the bedroom would have no reason to stray, seek out prostitutes or indulge in other social vices."

I know I should be outraged at the blatant sexism and all.. but honestly, I'm just amused.

Just HOW are they going to pull off these lessons?

I think it's safe to assume that tha vast majority of adults of our times have never received any sort of 'formal' lessons on how to have sex. So how are a bunch of tudung wearing housewives going to teach other housewives how to serve it up better than a first clast prostitute in bed? Will they have 'practical sessions' i.e. voyuerism? Or perhaps use some visual aids i.e. porn? Or will they just use cucumbers and doughnuts as tools?

Secondly, how will these 'trainers' even know how a first class prostitute performs in bed? What would be the qualification criteria for these trainers? How do you know if you're up to par with the best of prostitutes without having some prior knowledge or experience?


It's silly to say lack of a lack of mind blowing sex at home is the source of all social ills. But I suspect most men aren't about to complain (too much) about it anyway. It's every mans dream come true if their wife / girlfriend is a lady in public but a nympho in bed.

The way I see it, the only way this is going to work is that these women will have to be already somewhat kinky. You WILL need to have watched some (or a lot) porn, you WILL have to be fairly adventurous in bed, you WILL have to know and be willing to do everything a professional would do. EVERYTHING. And frankly, if you're that kinky, I doubt you'd be promoting sex classes under a religious banner, with tudung and all.... 

My guess is, this it'll all just end up like this scene. 

We'd Rock Each Other

You stir in me, a desire so great I cannot resist.

I want you, even if I don't know you. I want you, even if I can't have you.

Even for just one night, you could be my lover, and I could be your man. I'd hold you tenderly, and you'd rest gently by me. I'd whisper sweet words to you, you'd give me seductive looks. I'd want you so badlly, you'd tease me so naughtily. I'd make love to you passionately, you'd pleasure me so excitedly.

Even for just one night, ... in a way no other man would ever do for you, in a way no other woman would do for me....... don't you feel it? We'd rock each others world babe

Tell me something my dear.. how long do you think we can stay away from each other?

When You Looked My Way

You were looking my way.

I know. Because I was looking your way too.

You wore a tight pink tank top and denim miniskirt. Your bra strap was visible Your cleavage teased at me. The outline of your blouse hinted at the wondrous set of breast it kept hidden. Your skin - smooth and white, your legs - slim and sexy.

But it wasn’t that. It was your face.

I knew that face.

And from the way you were stealing glances at me, I think you knew me too.

But from where? From when? I couldn’t place it. Perhaps you were thinking the same things too.

Maybe we don’t know each other.

Maybe we really are strangers.

I’m still trying to figure it out.

Whatever it is, I had my eye on you. And you had your eye on me.

And we both knew, there was something there.

So next time, if fate brings us face to face again… lets say hello okay my dear.

We might just rock each others world.

A Complement.. Or Not..

“I don’t usually like Chinese guys. He’s one of the really rare ones which I’d seriously go after. If I weren’t already with Ricardo, I’d so go for him already.”

“He’s quite handsome, has a good set of teeth, tall, good build, broad chest, and just really really nice. I could just eat him up!”

And while saying all these words, the person speaking hand their hands all wrapped around me, body hugging closely to mine.

The rest look on at me. They said that coming from this person, it’s a huge complement… because this person rarely ever gives such open praises to people.

I wasn’t sure where to look or how to reach.

On one hand, I was seriously flattered. I never consider myself eligible or desirable in any way. I’ve always been Mr. Nice guy… Not Mr. Nice Ass guy. To hear this I could actually be sexy (or at least desirable la…) to the a nice boost for my self esteem.

But I had two issues.

This was also the same person who just told me barely ten minutes ago that they thought Bruno Mars was so handsome. When the same person tells me that I’m handsome….. I was thinking… “you mean.. handsome like Bruno Mars? Ermm……okaaay…. ”…. No offense to Mr. Mars.

The second issue was this. This person giving me this complement… was in fact… a DUDE. Yes, he’s man… a gay one at that. And he was saying all of this in front of his gay partner… who nodded to me in total agreement.

So ya… totally mixed emotions.

I finally find confirmation that I do have some sort of sexual appeal after all..but then I discover that the I’m attracting horny gay men instead of beautiful young girls.

Life...........always full of surprises.

Threesome

He just sat there and watched

… as his girlfriend sucked greedily on my cock, making lusty moans as she held my cock in her tiny hands and stuffed it into her mouth. I turned her around and felt her pussy. Dripping wet. Now I knew for sure that she was enjoying every minute of it.

Earlier she had showed some hints of her intent by coming real close and brushing her body against mine.

I spanked her ass gently and she responded. She liked it I know. I mounted her from the back and pumped long, firm strokes, holding her hips and slamming it against my manhood.

And all this while I was watching the dude.. just sitting there, contented to see his woman go wild with ecstasy with my cock.

"So this is how a threesome feels like..." I must admit it felt so fucking good.. yet so fucking surreal at the same time.

Her moans got louder and louder. My cock was getting harder and harder. I knew I just had to unload my cum inside of this hot minx. I banged her harder and harder, allowing my moans to come out in tandem with her. She knew I was cumming… her hands clawing at the bedsheets…

I let it all loose… banging her pussy with all my might… watching her beautiful ass going back and forth..

And all this while.. he just sat there and watched.

I withdrew and she turned around with a smile on her face. Her hands were still rubbing at my thighs… she still wanted more.

She asked me to sit down and sat on my cowgirl style. I was already limped.. but she started rubbing her pussy against my cock anyway. She wanted more. It was then I realized “Fuck, this is one horny bitch.”

He bended over and whispered into her ear.. but it was loud enough for me to hear.

“Did you enjoy it?” he asked.

And like a giddy schoolgirl being asked to go for prom for the first time, she nodded her head eagerly.

I shook his hand and gave her a hug and said goodnight as I showed them the door….. walking behind him, she couldn’t resist turning back and giving me a quick glance and smile. I smiled back. 20 minutes later, I get a message from the man.

“We really enjoyed it.. ESPECIALLY her.. Looking forward to meeting you again.”

The man wanted me to fuck his girlfriend again. I must admit – I certainly had no self esteem issues falling asleep that night.

I woke up in the morning with a smile on my face. Like one having just awaken from a night of sweet dreams. Or was it?

Good Porn, Bad Porn

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Gary Goes to Jail

I know this is a bit late, but I guess you've heard by now that Gary Ng's going to jail...

Apparently, when not busy humping the 500 or so women on camera, Gary was preoccupied with forgery, housebreaking, theft, criminal breach of trust and unlawfully having someone else's identity card.

He says he did it only because his job as a real estate agent couldn't sustain him. Poor guy.... if I was humping that many prostitutes a week, I'd be broke too.

Just as well, he should have been arrested a long time ago anyway.... for all the crappy amateur porn of himself he made all of us watch.

Not that I'm happy the dude got thrown into jail, but at least I know for the next 50 months there will be no more Gary Ng sex videos..... unless he starts humping the other inmates too..

Cheers! 

Boob Call..

There's a colleague of mine....

She likes wearing sexy cloths. Short skirts, tight tank tops, killer heels.... and she shows a bit of cleavage here and there. She's one of those, smiling, laughing but fiesty sort of women. She talks about sex to me once in a while. I can never figure out what that implies. And there's one other thing she does; She usually hangs her phone around her neck with a lanyard.... and some days when she's wearing her tank top, she stuffs it in between her breast. We joked about it before, about how her breast would vibrate when the phone rights....and the thing is... it kinda turns me on.

I have my share of office affairs fantasy. Always wondered how it would feel like getting it on with someone from office... Maybe I watched too may OL (Office Lady) porn scenes for my own good. But the thought of sneaky quickies in the office toilet or having a romp in the board room after office hours have always turned me on.

Call me a perverted and horny, but I constantly fanstasize about having sex with my office clerk.... and now, with this other lady whom I work closely with. Nevermind that she's older than me, nevermind that she's even married.... everytime she has her phone stuffed in between her boobs...I feel like giving her line a call and watch her dig at her cleavage.... and when she sees its me calling, I'll just give her a wink.

Who knows.... maybe she'll wink back.

Horny New Year

Happy New Year everyone...

So, everyone's back to life as usual after the last 2 weeks of holidays, festivities and late night drinking sessions. I thought I'd be getting the Monday blues again, but actually...

I've been hornier than usual of late. I mean... it's monday morning on a work day, and all I think of doing right now is grabbing a woman by the ass and doing it doggy style, slamming away, watching as her butt cheeks land softly on my thighs. I have a minor hard on underneath my table, our young clerk is looking good her new work cloths, and I have a mind to lock myself in the toilet to wish Mr. Right Hand a happy new year too...

I think it's a combination of 2 things.

First is the regular exercise. I kinda stopped working out towards the end of the year.. due to a lot of personal things going on. I resumed the regiment a couple of weeks ago, to try to get back on track... and I think the increased fitness levels increased my libido by no small measure.

Second is supplements. I started taking supplements again, after many years of avoiding it and it it kinda helped in a very broad sense. Worse (or better) when a friend gave me another specific type of supplement that was supposed to do wonders to your brain, heart and muscles. I actually had only 4 hours of sleep the day before but managed to stay awake for 21 hours straight before crashing in bed at 6am... my body was tired, but my mind could STILL go on. And when I woke up the next morning, I was already feeling kinda horny. It's amazing.

I've been feeling more alert throughout the day, bowel movement seems to have improved, I'm so much more focused, and like I said, general levels of horniness seems to have increased.

I'm still trying to decide if this is a good or bad thing. I'll let you know later. For now, I got to go say hello to Mr. Right Hand.

hey, I'm just being honest!