The Myth of the Fuck Buddy II

A continuation of this post on fuck buddies.

“Hi, I’m 25 male. Looking for fuck buddy. Any girl out there wana fuck?”

I’ve been browsing and surfing assorted local blogs and forums lately. Sadly, it looks like that’s sharp as they get these days…the (young) men I mean.That's my conclusion after reading an actual post above.

On one hand, I’m positively embarrassed. No tact, no finesse, no sense of how to properly present yourself as someone more than just a walking hard-on. On the other hand, what’s not to like? Short and straight to the point -doesn’t waste your time, doesn’t make any pretences. Ten over ten for efficiency, but zero points for effectiveness.

And people that post these invitations for fuck buddies all of 3 things in common; they’re all men; they’re all young; and they all half expect some girl to just suddenly reply “Yes, I’d like to have a fuck buddy.” No one ever does of course, simply because that’s not how you’re supposed to go about doing such things.

But I’m a guy too, and I do empathise with my fellow dudes over their long standing desire to have a fun fuck with none of the usual commitments involved. So, in my attempt to help my fellow man, here’s my own self styled guide to getting a fuck buddy.

#1 Stop the Desperate Posts

Nothing turns women off more than being desperate. For men, a desperate woman might be a sign of easy sex. But it doesn’t work the other ways guys. If you come across as so desperate for sex, you come across as UNWANTED. And nobody wants what everyone else doesn’t want either. Geddit? So quit the desperate talk and try being a bit more suave.

#2 Engage And Connect

Guys, let me just save you a lot of time and say that the chances of you finding yourself a fuck buddy online is very very slim. You need to go out, engage and connect with people. Meet people, chat, go for drinks, dance, whatever. People are attracted to things they can see, touch and feel. Not some poorly written grammar or ugly shot of a cock on the computer screen. No woman in her sane mind would be your fuck buddy unless she’s gotten a good idea of what you’re all about in person. So stop photoshop-ing the picture of your cock and start working on your people skills!

#3 Be Good Company

If you’re just looking for a quick fuck, no questions asked, you’re better off looking for a prostitute. They come when you call, leave when you’re done, and don’t ask you for anything else (other than money). You get your fuck, she gets her money, we all go home happy. But if it’s a fuck buddy you want, you need to be reasonably good company. What makes for good company is subjective and varies from person to person but if you aren’t even good company out of bed, there’s little to suggest you’ll be any different in bed. Geddit? And NO, having a big cock will not be enough to compensate for your lack of personality.

#4 Be A Good Fuck

The basis of a fuck buddy is MUTUAL pleasure. So if you DO qualify to the next stage, the second thing you have be is a DAMN GOOD FUCK IN BED. Men being men, we all think we’re all pretty damn good already. Heck, I think I’m a pretty good fuck in bed too if only I’m given the chance to prove it. But alas, we’re not….. (or at last YOU’re not). I’m not here to teach you how to be a good fuck, but at minimum:

- Don’t be lazy with the giving. You want your blowjob, give her what she wants to.
- Intercourse should be minimum 10 minutes. Ideally 20 minutes.
- Sexual positions should vary 2~3 types. Don’t just hump like a drunkard camel.
- Vary your stroke, intensity, speed, angle etc. Variety is the spice of life remember.
- Lots of kissing, lots of caressing, lots of holding, lots of eye contact.

Sex is all about connection & sensation. Doesn’t matter if you call it love making or fucking… unless you’re making love to a mannequin - make a connection.

#5 Be The Fuck, Be the Buddy too

I actually don’t like the term Fuck Buddy much. A bit too wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am style. I prefer the term ‘friends with benefits’. Maybe I’m just old fashioned, but I do think that the ‘friends’ part should come before the ‘benefits’. As opposed having the ‘fuck’ before the ‘buddy’. Regardless of what you call him/her, she’s still a person. And that means they shouldn’t be treated purely like a booty call (unless you both actually prefer that). A normal meal or other non sex related activities are harmless but go a long way. In case you don’t already know, women don’t like to be taken for granted. As much as possible, be the fuck but also the buddy.

#6 Don’t fall in Love

Whatever you do, DON’T.l…because if you do, that’s the end of it. What you will have is no longer ‘friends with benefits’ but ‘relationship without the perks’. You will end up loving someone, but not being able to call them your own. Being physically attracted, genuinely caring and being in love are three very different things. The problem with sex is that it messes it all up in this pot of lust, love and infatuation.. You may think that as a guy, you clearly differentiate love from sex – which is true…. But when you’re laying there in each others arms post coital bliss smiling and snuggling, looking into her beautiful eyes and her sweet sweet smile, it’s only too easy to fall in love… or at least think you have. It’s playing with fire.. and play long enough, someone’s bound to get burnt. To say it gets complicated is an understatement. So be warned and make sure you know what you’re getting yourself into.


Having said all this, I’d just like to put a disclaimer – I have no idea if any of these will work for you in finding a fuck buddy. Very frankly, it’s a case of too many men wanting it and too little women considering it… and I can’t exactly say I’ve had much experience with fuck buddies either. You really are better of trying to get a proper girlfriend, treat her nice and enjoy the sex there. I say this as a guy horny enough to still dream of having friends with benefits, but also as a man realistic enough to know that some things will always remain a fantasy and nothing more.

… and yes, I’m still alive and kicking and wonder if anyone still follows this blog.


Cheers!

P/S:  Hi, I’m 25 male. Looking for fuck buddy. Any girl out there wana fuck? ;-P