Serendipity on this New Year.

Hey,

If you read this, that means you've been faithfully coming back here, despite my lack of any interesting post to publish. A lot has been happening in my life.....both of the decent, normal but mundane kind, as well as the secret, hidden but utterly amazing kind of things.

Just none I really want to post here.. for reasons I don't really know how to explain only to say that whatever words I have to say concerning those things do not belong here. They belong somewhere else, it a space of it's own.

The most common thing I've been writing about in this small little corner of cyberspace that I occupy is about sex. I assume this is the reason why you choose to come back here. You want to read about sex. It's the same reason I get more hits here although I hardly say anything of real worth here beyond sex, infidelity and fuck buddies than I do in other places where I share my mind.

But I have no juicy sex related topics to share with you. I write this because I just wanted to talk to some of you. There have been a few of you who have consistently hanging around, dropping comments (sorry I have not been replying) and just choosing to read the who load of crap I write; everything from chimpanzees to Tiger Woods to prostitutes and Bangla workers. It is to these people that I write.Chances are, I will probably never meet or get to know any of you. But I know that behind every pseudonym used to leave comments to me, there is a real person behind that keyboard communicating with me. I would like to nod my head and acknowledge you. I don't need to name you, if you read this, you will know if it applies to you. By the same token, do acknowledge that I too am a normal person, with a normal life, with normal (and some abnormal) issues to deal with. I will not always have some juicy story to share and reveal. Life isn't always that controversial for me. There are other parts of my life which I do not blog about here because, well, that's not what this blog is for. Do not come checking into this page expecting something interesting to be there every week.

I don't know what you expect to be reading everytime I post something new, but just let me say that this ISN'T a sex blog. I write about sex, and I divulge details about sex and what have you, but that is not the what this is about. Neither am I some casanova with an infinite number of conquest of women to tell you, nor some S&M practitioner that does all sorts of kinky stuff... If you want to read about sex, sorry to disappoint you.

I don't really know if this blog still serves any purpose at all, beyond me just sharing things I'd rather not say in my other blogs. But if I do write anything here at all from here onwards, they will be things that go through my mind, and in some instances, glimpses of my life. Our world so caught up with instant gratification these days. A website hardly gets beyond 2 paragraphs on its first page to make an impression on it's reader before the reader decides to click X. I offer no instant gratification or quick and easy reads. If you do enjoy the things I have written so far, it would have been because you actually read through the things I've been saying. And it's people like you I like having around. If you find my mind and my thoughts interesting enough.. hang around OK... I hope it will be regardless of whether or not I blog about sex. As for the rest of you, you can delete me from your bookmarks now.

Whoever you are, I just want to wish you a very Happy New Year for 2010. I learnt something new recently. It's called serendipity. It's when you start out on your journey, searching for one thing in life that you think will make you happy or complete or better or whatever. But along the way, you accidentally stumble upon something else, that proves itself to be of equal or if not more value to your life. Isn't that beautiful? I have experienced serendipity.. right from this blog. I thought I was looking for something through this blog.... but I found other things instead, things that I now consider such defining moments in my life. And the most amazing part of it all was, I didn't even see it coming. So, for you my friend... you who read my blog.. in addition to good health, happiness and love (with essence of ginseng) that I wish everybody this year round... I wish that in the coming year...in whatever you do... you will find serendipity in your life.

Rainbows and Sunshine

I held her hand and felt her soft skin.

I reached for her waist and pulled her close.

I stroked her hair and held her tight.

The sweet smell of her body

The gentle moan of her voice.

The melodious sound of her words.

Her lips; sweet and delicious.

Her hair fell over her forehead in the most compelling way.

Her eyes light up every time she spoke of something.

Her voice had passion that belied her petite body.

She was like firebrand; always stirring, always struggling


She was like streams of water; ever changing, always adapting.

She was like a rainbow; a rare and fleeting beauty that could only be cherished and loved. But never owned.

Rainbows are beautiful. Rainbows happen when there is rain and sunlight present in the right time, in the right amount, and at the right angles. The most beautiful things in life are made from opposing elements. Things that are bitter sweet. Things that not just sweet only. But things that are a mixture of one element with another that is supposedly the opposite. Things that are supposedly not ever meant to be associated with each other. Like rain.. and sunshine..

And yet... look up at the sky my friend. Look at what a little rain and sunshine can create. A rainbow.
Lucky is the man who chances upon it and knows how to appreciate it.

Beautiful in the it's simplicity.

Amazing in its richness.

I'd put up with all the rain all the time if it meant I get to gaze at that rainbow again.

I'd eagerly wait for the sky to break and wait for the sun come through.

Because it's with that beautiful rainbow in mind that makes me smile when I say those words

"Good Morning Sunshine."

A Beautiful Mess...

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You know what? Wherever it leads to, I'm glad you chose the long scenic road.

'A Beautiful Mess'

You've got the best of both worlds
You're the kind of girl who can take down a man,
And lift him back up again
You are strong but you're needy,
Humble but you're greedy
And based on your body language,
And shoddy cursive I've been reading
Your style is quite selective,
though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests
that this is just what happiness is

Hey, what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't mind my nerve you could call it fiction
But I like being submerged in your contradictions dear
'Cause here we are, here we are

Although you were biased I love your advice
Your comebacks they're quick
And probably have to do with your insecurities
There's no shame in being crazy,
Depending on how you take these
Words I'm paraphrasing this relationship we're staging

And what a beautiful mess, yes it is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say
Kind of turn themselves into blades
And the kind and courteous is a life I've heard
But it's nice to say that we played in the dirt
Cause here, here we are, Here we are
Here we are [x7]

We're still here
What a beautiful mess, this is
It's like taking a guess when the only answer is "Yes"

Through, timeless words and priceless pictures We'll fly like birds not of this earth

And tides they turn and hearts disfigure
But that's no concern when we're wounded together

And we, tore our dresses and stained our shirts
But its nice today. Oh the way it was so worth it.

Poor Tiger Woods

Am I the only one who is pitying Tiger Woods?

In case you haven't heard, Tiger Woods, arguably one of the most talented and dominating golfer of all time is now sort of in hot soup. He crashed is car into a tree, under suspicion of drinking or something. His wife had to smash his car window with a golf club to save his ass out of the car or something and he had to be sent to the hospital for a very brief while No major injuries. Nothing at all.

SOMEHOW, somewhere in between crashing his car, and his wife smashing his window, people started talking even more about Tiger Woods having an affair outside. How this even ties back to his car crash totally eludes me. The guy then starts talking about 'transgressions' and finally 'infidelity' and no is taking an indefinite break from golf to mend his family affairs. And now, everyone is waiting to see if major sponsors will start distancing themselves from him. All this talk about how it would 'damage his career' etc etc starts getting reported over the world.

And in all of this..... I was just thinking to myself

"Why the F**K is this being blown into such big proportions?"

First of all, Tiger Woods became an icon because of his golfing talents, not because of his 'moral integrity'. Secondly, despite now knowing that he screwed someone other than his wife, the man is still remains the best player in his sport. Thirdly, he ain't the first, nor will he be the last man (famous or otherwise) to be have cheated outside of his marriage. So why the hell is the media so intently making a big deal out of the whole issue?

I'm not saying the world should just pretend like it's no big deal. It is a screw up on his part. First for doing it. Then for being caught. But it's a personal matter, and it's got nothing to do with his professional life. David Beckham was caught cheating with the nanny. Did he get his sponsorship deals revoked? President John F. Keneddy was caught with Marilyn Monroe. Did he get impeached? Even good old Bill Clinton survived 2 expose's in his time in office. Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi 'consorts' with young beautiful women, and last time I checked, yup, he's still PM (albeit with a broken nose). And mind you, Italy is right where the Pope is, and even he hasn't said a thing.

I mean.... report it in the news if you have to. But all this over sensationalizing the issue just gets on my nerves. The news just goes on and on about how such a 'clean image' icon like Tiger Woods could do such things. Everyone's shocked. Everyone's surprised. *scoff* Tell me something; are you people really that naive? Or MAYBE... you're feigning it. Cuz really.... this ain't exactly THAT sensational a news you know.

Last I checked, he was still playing in the PGA, not the LPGA tour. Which means the guy still carries two balls with him after tee-ing off the driveway. When you have balls, I think it's safe to say you are a man. And when you are a man, I think it's safe to say that the possibility to cheat IS THERE. It always is. The richer, the more powerful, and the higher up you are in life.... the more likely it can happen. It's just a fact. So Tiger Woods cheated too. So? All it has proven is that though on the green he's considered a golfing god, off the green, he's still a normal human being. He faces the same challenges as everyone else, he battles the same demons. And just like everyone else, he screwed up big time too. 

Give the man a break. He doesn't owe the world, nor the media any explanation. He doesn't need to make any statements, nor take a break from the game to 'repent for his transgressions'. People don't watch Tiger Woods playing golf because of his 'outstanding moral fibre'... they watch because he does amazing things with his balls. (That came out sounding funnier than intended). The only people he does need to make amends with is his family.


And we all know he ain't getting any sex anytime soon anyway.

Poor Tiger.

Today Ain't one of those days....

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You know how some days you just feel like pouring your heart? You feel like if you don't share what's on your mind, or what' you're feeling, you heart feels like it is going to literally burst? You feel upset, you fell blue, you feel like the sky is falling and nothing seems right and everything just feels wrong? Know the feeling?

You want to know something?

TODAY'S AIN'T ONE OF THEM.

Nope. No-Sir-EEE.

Today I'm happy. OK, that's an understatement. Today, I'm way more than happy. I'm GREAT. No I didn't win the lottery. Today's one of those days where you feel like you're floating around dream-like state. You go through the motions of daily life... you perform all the functions of the earth.... but your mind is high up, in outer space somewhere, orbiting Venus probably.

Some secrets you feel like you need to share else it'd kill you. Others, you just want to keep to yourself and soak it all in.

You smirk, you smile, you giggle to yourself. The word thinks you're behaving like a total goof. But that's ok..... Cuz you know something they don't. Cuz you've got a secret and for once... it's a fantastic one.

;)

How to Buy a Condom

Condoms...

Your primary means of protection against unwanted babies... and unwanted Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs). Also a pre-requisite should you be one of those people harbouring to get laid anytime soon.

You know how learning how to ride a bike, or having your first kiss tend to be defining milestones in your life? Well, I think for men, buying your own condoms for the first time is one of those moments. Buying condoms for the first time has got to be one of those most awkward retail moments I've ever experienced. Come to think of it... buying condoms STILL is an incredibly awkward thing to do.


I don't know if it's just me that feels this way, or if other men feel it too. But have you ever walked into a conveniences store... with the single purpose of buying yourself a pack of condoms... only to find yourself grabbing a few other completely random and unneeded items to go along with that pack of condoms?

I swear.... it happens to me every time.

It's almost like... you can't just walk into 7Eleven and just buy condoms only.... nothing else. You gotta walk in... browse around a bit... pick up some everyday stuff like some bread... or a beer... or whatever.. and walk to the counter, go by the rack of condoms and go "Oh, what do we have here? Condoms? Hmm. Yeah, I think I need a few... might as well." before proceeding to select your pack. I suspect maybe these convenience store people sort of KNOW these unspoken awkwardness about buying condoms. We'll never know. But the condoms are often often strategically placed nearest to the counter... so that it can always be the LAST item you pick up before leaving the store. Nobody wants to be seen doing their shopping holding a pack of condoms.

Selecting your condoms also always seem to be a hurried job too. I don't know about others, but I enjoy reading packaging labels before purchasing an item. I like to know what I'm buying. The first time I plucked up the courage to walk up to the condom rack, I was completely perplexed. I thought condoms were just condoms... But NoooOOooo.. you're presented with a myriad of choices. There's flavoured ones, ribbed ones, ultra thin, extra safe, comfort fit, extra pleasure, extra spicy etc etc..... I panicked. "WTF man.. what's all this shit? I just want a regular condom!" But at the same time, I feel compelled to properly make a selection too, in line with regular shopping habits. You add this to a unspoken reluctance to be seen lingering too long around the 'condom section'... I often end up just picking one.. ANY ONE.. within 20 seconds of arriving at the rack.

So you grab your pack.. and walk to the counter.. and hold it like it's just one of those things you picked up 'along the way' with the rest of your stuff and act cool.

This is the part where it can go either very smooth, or seriously awkward depending on your situation. There are 2 people you will meet. Other shoppers... and the cashier. If either one are MEN...you're safe. If one man sees another buying a pack of condoms, it's nothing to be shy about. It's almost something to gloat about. That packet of condoms basically shouts out "Take a good look at my face dude. This is the face of someone who's getting laid." The bigger your pack of condoms, the stronger the signal. And yes, you're allowed to snigger, though it's completely unnecessary. My suggestion; let the condoms speak for itself. Of course, this novelty dies down the older you get when buying condom don't seem such a big deal anymore.

Now, if you bump into a FEMALE cashier / shopper.. things may get a bit awkward. Maybe if the person was your age.........it's fine. Everyone screws around these days. No big deal. Just cross your finger and hope she isn't looking at your face and wondering "Wah, this kind of fella also can get laid ar? Bluueeerghhh" To preempt this reaction.... make sure you never go buying condoms in your favorite stinky shirt, shorts and slippers. You don't have to put on your best cloths, style your hair, spray some cologne and wear your best shoes.. The goal here is just to look somewhat 'fuckable'... Geddit. Fuckable. Consider tucking in your tummy throughout the entire duration you are in the store. If you're still looking ugly and repulsive despite best efforts, my deepest condolences. Dark shades or paper bags over the head are always useful.

The real problem comes if the lady you encounter... is any one those ultra conservative aunties who refer to sexual organs as 'your down there la'.. or 'that thing la'. Boy.... can you imagine holding a pack of condoms standing next in line to a lady old enough to be your mother? **Sweat** She'll probably be wondering "Eiyer.. look at this boy.... buying condom. He doesn't look like he's married. Tsk tsk tsk... kids these days ar....I wonder who's daughter is that." There's something awkward about acknowledging sexual desire when it comes to people we consider our elders. I'd no sooner divulge any details of my sex life to my father than I would listening to vivid details of how my parents 'do it'. It's just................ awkward. Sometimes I wonder how they'd reach if I looked straight back at them in the eye and smile and a wink, basically sending the message "Oh yes auntie. I'm boinking someone's daughter good. And yes, it could easily be yours!" Hahaha.... the thought never ceases to amuse me.

So yeah... that's pretty much it. You make your payment. and you walk out the door. And suddenly it doesn't seem like such a difficult thing after all, until you need to buy some more that is. Hahaha.....

Anyway, here's a good joke about condoms to close this (already way out of hand) post. It goes something like this:

A boy walks into a store with his dad and passes the condoms section. He becomes very curious about the different pack sizes and ask his dad how you know which sizes to buy


"Well son, the 3 in one packs are for single colleague students. One each for Friday, Saturday, and Sunday." said the dad.


"What about the 6 in one pack?" ask the son.

"That? Oh, that's for when you're dating someone seriously. One for each day of the week, except Sundays. Sundays you rest." said the father. 

"And the 12 in one pack?" ask the son. 

"That one my boy? Sigh..... That's for when you're married. One for January, one for February, one for March so on and so forth.............." 

 Cheers!!