The Female Libido

Wow, exactly 5 months since my last post on this blog. Please forgive my absence. Honestly, I’m not feeling too bad about it actually, since the hiatus was rather deliberate. But today, I write.

Female libido – something that continues to perplexes me till today. But before I talk about female libido, let me talk about male libido.

Male libido is incredibly simple. Men are governed mainly by the testosterone in their body. The higher the testosterone, the greater the masculine features and behavioral traits, the higher the level of sexual desire. Men are also visual beings, easily turned on by the sexy curves of beautiful women. Their feelings of lust are well separated from their feelings of love. A man can want to fuck a woman even on first sight, simple because like all other men, he really is just a simple guy wanting to get laid all the time. It’s not exactly the most elegant way to behave, but it is the simple & predictable way men function.

If male libido was like third grade mathematics - simple easy to understand, then female libido is PhD level quantum mechanics – abstract and uncertain. Women have estrogen, progesterone and trace amounts of testosterone. They have menstrual cycles that affect their perception of what an attractive mate is from week to week. Their level of physical attraction to a man is intricately tied to how close they feel to the man emotionally, or so we think. Feelings of lust aren’t as clearly separated from love. Seldom does a woman ever want to fuck a man at first sight.

I’d really love to have a woman say casually say to me one day “Fuck, I’m feeling so horny. I need to get laid.” Contrary to what Sex and the City has thought us, women aren’t all that horny.

A female friend of mine told me once rather openly that she could live without sex for weeks on end. No problemo. My eyes nearly popped out. The only times she ever bothers having sex is when her boyfriend wants it. Then she just obliges. WTF.

Another female friend has been in a relationship 7 years and has still remained a virgin. WTF?! I know the boyfriend hasn’t been too thrilled about it. I admire his patience. But I wonder about my friend. Don’t you ever get horny? Don’t you ever feel the urge to.. you know… fuck? 

I’ve always had this theory that women who don’t get laid develop some sort of mental handicap. I’m pretty sure the stereotypical image of an old cranky, somewhat loony old spinster wasn’t formed without some truth in it. I believe the term is sexually frustrated. Women who keep their chastity at all cost do it at the cost of starving a very primal part of human desire, and that cannot be a good thing. Do a little dance, make a little love babe. It’s not that big a deal.

I’m starting to sound like a hippie.

I’ve known women who seem to have absolutely zero.. ZERO sex drive. Other women tell me they get horny in the middle of their menstrual cycle, assumingly when they are ovulating. One told me she feels horny when she’s having her period (Eww), and others say just before or after it.

But the biggest difference I guess between the sexes is this; men can’t or will not do much to control their libido. For men, it’s pretty much the case of constantly feeling horny and finding outlets for it, be it masturbation or sex. At his horniest, a man’s dick, though many times smaller than his brain, wields near absolute control over his body. For women, it seems (to me) a lot like a switch they can on and off. They can choose to let themselves let lose their sexuality (usually with their regular partner) or completely switch it off (usually when they are single and aren’t dating anyone at the moment).

Which bugs the hell out of me. Because it really does make all men seem like nothing but horny bastards. Not that we don’t admit being horny bastards. We are. We just want equally horny bitches to complete the circle.

Have a good week ahead folks. 

Curb Your Horny-ism

You’d think that doing nothing would be easy enough, but it’s not.

How to stay put when your body is screaming for some loving? How to stay put when the tingles in your loins constantly remind you of the carnal pleasures it so badly wants? How to distract yourself when every time you close your eyes, she appears? Yes, her…. the one you’ve been having countless fantasies of…. the one you think of every time you sit there alone in your room, hundreds of miles away from home… the one you'd pounce on and ravage every other night, if only she'd let you...

Curbing horny thoughts are an immense challenge for a man sometimes. Masturbating helped a bit. But I found myself going back to those scenarios again and again, the ones played out in all those emails.. which just got me hornier. Eventually, I realized I had to stop, else even the cleaner lady downstairs my start looking sexy.

Being in this unique little country of Singapore didn’t help much either. For one, Singapore is filled with stylish looking, nice smelling, and eye pleasing women. Everywhere you go, you see beautiful, well groomed women walking about the central business district. And when you’re feeling horny (like I was), you basically start mentally undressing every hot chick you see. And secondly, there’s the rather well known fact that prostitution is legal in this country. You could technically drive yourself to a brothel and pay a woman to satisfying all your wonton desires, and still have not done anything wrong (in the legal sense anyway).

But it's not just Singapore. There is something about being away from home that somehow shifts your mental behavior. For some reason, I’m always horny when I'm here.. more so than I am back home. I think being in a fresh surrounding, no longer confined by the rules and constraints back home, makes you feel somehow less inhibited. You’re willing to try more things, you’re willing to keep more of an open mind. You don’t walk around thinking you already know what’s there and how things happen. The neighborhood becomes your playground again, its exciting again, and you want to play peek-a-boo with that cute little girl by the swing. Only, she looks stunning in that miniskirt, watching her puff her cigarette turns you on, and peek-a-boo here ends with an additional ‘b’. Peek-a-boob.

In the end I decided that the best way to curb said horniness, was by doing the most unsexy things I could think of… like doing my laundry, and shopping for cleaning detergents, mopping the floor, and of course, cleaning the toilet (all of which I will testify, make you feel terribly unsexy). I also decided that I will buy myself an enormous bag of potato chips as reward / compensation for my noble efforts of trying to stay sexually pure whist away. It seemed like a fair trade off. I should be allowed to be a fat, overweight but honest man, stuffing his mouth with potato chips, for not being the trim, fitter horny bastard, trying to stick his penis into assorted vaginas. It seemed like a good idea anyway…..until I finished the chips. After which, I just felt like a fat, overweight horny bastard who still wanted to stick his penis into assorted vaginas anyway.

So much for the effectiveness of comfort food.

Your emails are evil honey. I love them ;-)

Only One Way

We may screw it all up....

We may end up hurting each other...

Or...

We could really end up

Rocking each others world...

Either way babe...

there's really only one way to find out...

Penis Size

Penis size.

I know the topics as stales as a mouldy burger in a smelly, rotten fridge, but I'm bringing it up anyway.

It matters... especially to the men themselves.


Women generally swear that it doesn't. They say they don't mind men with tiny penises. It's the love that counts. Or at least, the skill. Great things still can be done by if wield your equipment well enough, even if it's just a toothpick (ouch...) It really does feel like a case of women just doing the kind thing in not totally and utterly destroying our egos. They are very much the kinder sex. You'll be hard pressed to ever find a woman openly admitting that size does matter. So far, I've only come across one woman (albeit only virtually) who has been completely honest and blunt about it.

But I'll tell you who it really matters most to. Men themselves.

Men handle their penis on a daily basis. We are intimately familiar with it. And size penis size is mostly pre-destined the day you were born into either a well hung African family with penises that look like batons or a southernly-challenged Oriental family with penises that look like really short chopsticks. Men spend most of their puberty years and early adulthood learning how to live with their pre-destined equipment. Big, long, thick, straight, curve, short, thin or crooked, we live with it, protect it, and even try to be proud of it. Defending its stature is literally defending our manhood.

Our brains are hardwired; penis size = how manly I am. If you see a strong, muscular, dominant alpha male, you'd never imagine he'd have a tiny penis. On the other hand, tiny, weak, geeky, submissive beta males with tiny penises are perfectly imaginable. Alpha males get the women. Beta males don't. And since all men want to be the alpha male, we all want a big, bad ass penis that we can proudly unveil as the pants start dropping.

So when you see the picture of it honey, please remember to see the captions that came with it.


*Objects appears smaller than they are in real life.*

And if you ever see it in real life, here's the caption for it

*Shrinks while cold & limp. Rub & kiss to expand*

:-P

Cheers everyone.

After The Fuck

Have you ever noticed how before you have sex, sex seem like such a big deal. You really feel like you could just die if you don't get some right now. You see a beautiful woman, and you want her, you hear a sexy voice and you want her. Your mind gets consumed by it.You think about the possible candidates you know that just my jump into bed for a short romp with you, and even the most unlikely ones get considered, like maybe your semi-blood related cousin, that girl you exchange dirty emails with, or the cute girl from next door.

And then you get some... and during sex, it really is the most fucking awesome thing you will experience in your life. You're spanking her ass, thrusting hard and giving it to her doggy style and you think to yourself "Oh-My-Fucking-God, I want to have sex 24hrs a day every day." And that thought just gets truer and truer the closer you are to climax.

Climax (or Orgasm) of course just feels like "oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck FUCK YEAH!"

And then the whole things done and you just lie around in Post Coitus bliss for a while, smooching each other, smiling and just wanting to doze off into wonderland.

And then there's the next day.. and everything seems so... well... normal. You see a woman bend over, and the sight of her cleavage doesn't make you want to go jerk off in the bathroom right that instant. You can talk to that girl across the street without imagining her naked. Everything seems less sexed up. You wonder how you ever get so charged up about porn, or getting laid or having a threesome. After all, sex isn't everything in this life.

Of course, we only ever say or think that way after we've just gotten some... or if we get it regularly.

Men always get a bad rap for being horny. If a man openly talks about a sexy women, women roll their eyes and call them perverts. When women openly confess how hot Taylor Lautners abs are, it's supposed to be fine! Men don't roll their eyes in response because, well, we don't have Taylor Lautner's abs.

We're all sexual perverts in one way or another. We are all governed / motivated by our sexual desire. Some have strong impulses, some not so. I will be the first to admit that my sexual desires have let me to places, and made me do things I cannot speak about openly. And I know this is true for almost every normal, functional, sexual human adult.

If you're horny, is it so hard to admit it and be proud of it? It means you're not dysfunctional.

(I am of course, horny as I write this.)

Cheers everybody.

The Obedient Wives Club

Obedient Wives Club to offer sex lessons

It's things like this that make Malaysia such an entertaining (albeit embarrasing) place to live sometimes.

A bunch of Muslim housewives, spearheaded by a group of former polygamy advocators are offering sex lessons to wives so that they can "serve their husbands better than a first class prostitute.".. because "a husband who was kept happy in the bedroom would have no reason to stray, seek out prostitutes or indulge in other social vices."

I know I should be outraged at the blatant sexism and all.. but honestly, I'm just amused.

Just HOW are they going to pull off these lessons?

I think it's safe to assume that tha vast majority of adults of our times have never received any sort of 'formal' lessons on how to have sex. So how are a bunch of tudung wearing housewives going to teach other housewives how to serve it up better than a first clast prostitute in bed? Will they have 'practical sessions' i.e. voyuerism? Or perhaps use some visual aids i.e. porn? Or will they just use cucumbers and doughnuts as tools?

Secondly, how will these 'trainers' even know how a first class prostitute performs in bed? What would be the qualification criteria for these trainers? How do you know if you're up to par with the best of prostitutes without having some prior knowledge or experience?


It's silly to say lack of a lack of mind blowing sex at home is the source of all social ills. But I suspect most men aren't about to complain (too much) about it anyway. It's every mans dream come true if their wife / girlfriend is a lady in public but a nympho in bed.

The way I see it, the only way this is going to work is that these women will have to be already somewhat kinky. You WILL need to have watched some (or a lot) porn, you WILL have to be fairly adventurous in bed, you WILL have to know and be willing to do everything a professional would do. EVERYTHING. And frankly, if you're that kinky, I doubt you'd be promoting sex classes under a religious banner, with tudung and all.... 

My guess is, this it'll all just end up like this scene. 

We'd Rock Each Other

You stir in me, a desire so great I cannot resist.

I want you, even if I don't know you. I want you, even if I can't have you.

Even for just one night, you could be my lover, and I could be your man. I'd hold you tenderly, and you'd rest gently by me. I'd whisper sweet words to you, you'd give me seductive looks. I'd want you so badlly, you'd tease me so naughtily. I'd make love to you passionately, you'd pleasure me so excitedly.

Even for just one night, ... in a way no other man would ever do for you, in a way no other woman would do for me....... don't you feel it? We'd rock each others world babe

Tell me something my dear.. how long do you think we can stay away from each other?