The Female Libido

Wow, exactly 5 months since my last post on this blog. Please forgive my absence. Honestly, I’m not feeling too bad about it actually, since the hiatus was rather deliberate. But today, I write.

Female libido – something that continues to perplexes me till today. But before I talk about female libido, let me talk about male libido.

Male libido is incredibly simple. Men are governed mainly by the testosterone in their body. The higher the testosterone, the greater the masculine features and behavioral traits, the higher the level of sexual desire. Men are also visual beings, easily turned on by the sexy curves of beautiful women. Their feelings of lust are well separated from their feelings of love. A man can want to fuck a woman even on first sight, simple because like all other men, he really is just a simple guy wanting to get laid all the time. It’s not exactly the most elegant way to behave, but it is the simple & predictable way men function.

If male libido was like third grade mathematics - simple easy to understand, then female libido is PhD level quantum mechanics – abstract and uncertain. Women have estrogen, progesterone and trace amounts of testosterone. They have menstrual cycles that affect their perception of what an attractive mate is from week to week. Their level of physical attraction to a man is intricately tied to how close they feel to the man emotionally, or so we think. Feelings of lust aren’t as clearly separated from love. Seldom does a woman ever want to fuck a man at first sight.

I’d really love to have a woman say casually say to me one day “Fuck, I’m feeling so horny. I need to get laid.” Contrary to what Sex and the City has thought us, women aren’t all that horny.

A female friend of mine told me once rather openly that she could live without sex for weeks on end. No problemo. My eyes nearly popped out. The only times she ever bothers having sex is when her boyfriend wants it. Then she just obliges. WTF.

Another female friend has been in a relationship 7 years and has still remained a virgin. WTF?! I know the boyfriend hasn’t been too thrilled about it. I admire his patience. But I wonder about my friend. Don’t you ever get horny? Don’t you ever feel the urge to.. you know… fuck? 

I’ve always had this theory that women who don’t get laid develop some sort of mental handicap. I’m pretty sure the stereotypical image of an old cranky, somewhat loony old spinster wasn’t formed without some truth in it. I believe the term is sexually frustrated. Women who keep their chastity at all cost do it at the cost of starving a very primal part of human desire, and that cannot be a good thing. Do a little dance, make a little love babe. It’s not that big a deal.

I’m starting to sound like a hippie.

I’ve known women who seem to have absolutely zero.. ZERO sex drive. Other women tell me they get horny in the middle of their menstrual cycle, assumingly when they are ovulating. One told me she feels horny when she’s having her period (Eww), and others say just before or after it.

But the biggest difference I guess between the sexes is this; men can’t or will not do much to control their libido. For men, it’s pretty much the case of constantly feeling horny and finding outlets for it, be it masturbation or sex. At his horniest, a man’s dick, though many times smaller than his brain, wields near absolute control over his body. For women, it seems (to me) a lot like a switch they can on and off. They can choose to let themselves let lose their sexuality (usually with their regular partner) or completely switch it off (usually when they are single and aren’t dating anyone at the moment).

Which bugs the hell out of me. Because it really does make all men seem like nothing but horny bastards. Not that we don’t admit being horny bastards. We are. We just want equally horny bitches to complete the circle.

Have a good week ahead folks.