A Fucker

Someone called me an ass kisser and a fucker today.

But I can’t say I didn’t get my own.

I called him a petty, calculative, immature, malicious, scheming, selfish, arrogant, high nosed, ignorant, idiotic, self-pitying, stupid, autistic, mother fucking retard.

Life’s not so bad when you’re more eloquent than your enemies. Muahahaha..


But to his credit, he did get right at least one thing right.

I AM a fucker.

A better one than him too... 

Just ask his wife.

Just kidding...

I'd never fuck a cow like that.

Corporate Strategy on Abstinence

I got to give it to the our local government sometimes. They really know how to entertain you.

Today's headline news was No Sex Please, We Are Students

In fact, this was actually brought up in Parliament. The government wants to go on a campaign to tell students not to have sex until their married.
 
It cited that there were 21 cases of pregnancies out of wedlock last year (assuming in university). I wonder what kind of retarded source they're getting their data from. I also suspect that the Ministry of Education has it's offices based on Pluto......

Because wake up Auntie.... almost everyone... E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E ... is screwing around these days. Be them Muslims, Christians, Buddhist or terrorist. If the former Health Minister was screwing around, do you really think healthy, hot blooded, horny, hormone induced young students experiencing total freedom away from home for the very first time are going to abstain?

LOL.......

I think not. If you want to teach them that they should wait until they get, married.... They will be thinking "Fuck, who knows when THAT will be.. I can't wait that long..." and bang... someone's getting lucky tonight. I don't know about other people, but by the time I was 16, I already knew there was no way I was to 'wait till the right one' before I started engaging in sex.

If you REALLY want to do something constructive.... just prepare a simple slide show presentation of STDs and AIDS with the most gory and disturbing pictures you can find of peoples deformed genitalia... LIKE THIS:

 FUCK AROUND, AND THIS COULD BE YOU.....

 FUCK AROUND, AND THIS COULD BE YOU.....

Then for dramatic effect, take 2 dozen condoms and fling it in the air and say

"Fuck around and use one of these if you think you're so smart....But did you know that even condom companies dare not 100% guarantee the effectiveness of their product?"

"The good news is, if you do ever get  HIV / AIDS you can screw around as much as you want from then on... Cuz you're as good as a goner anyway. Most STDs can be controlled, but never cured."

Perhaps one on one, proper reasoning and debate would convince a person to abstain for  higher purposes. But I tell you my friend, if you want an effective abstinence programme to work in this country... you need to strike more than just the fear of God in peoples hearts.. You need to include Syphilis, Gonorrhea, Scabs, Herpes and good old HIV.....

Didn't they teach you that in school?

Cheers.

P/S: Someone should seriously hire me as a Sex Education Consultant... :-P

Coffee With Me

Ever thought of a cup of coffee?
We can sit at a corner, just you and me.
You can tell me where you’re from.
And I can tell you where I’ve been.
We’ll talk about love and life.
And you can tell me why you need 6 different shoes.
I’ll listen to you ask you speak about your life.
And you’ll wonder why talking to me seems so easy.
We’ll chat and laugh for hours till we become silent
And I’ll ask if you find the silence awkward.
You’ll say there’s something nice about me.
I’ll shake my head and tell you the truth - I’m actually nervous
I act weirdly when I have caffeine or am around pretty women.
You’ll say I ordered decaf and I’ll say – there you go.
You’ll look at the time and say we really should go.
You’ll try to pay but I’ll insist that I do.
I’ll tell you a lie – you can pay the next time.
You’ll say OK, and I’ll secretly leap for joy.
Because it means you’d want to see me again.
I’ll walk with you all the way to your car.
You’ll say you had a really nice time.
And I’ll say the pleasure really was all mine.
You’ll drive off and I’ll wave goodbye.
I’ll skip to a beat as you turn out of sight.
I’ll slowly recall all the things we said.
Having coffee really does things to you head.
 

Lips of An Angel

Honey why you callin me so late

It's kinda hard to talk right now

Honey why you cryin? Is everything ok?

I gotta whisper cause I can't be too loud

Well, my girls in the next room

Sometimes I wish she was you

I guess we never really moved on

It's really good to hear your voice

Sayin my name, It sounds so sweet

Comin from the lips of an angel

Hearin those words It makes me weak

And I never want to say goodbye

But girl you make it hard to be faithful

With the lips of an angel

It's funny that you're callin me tonight

And yes I dreamt of you too

Does he know your talkin' to me?

Will it start a fight?

No, I don't think she has a clue

Well, my girls in the next room

Sometimes I wish she was you

I guess we never really moved on

It's really good to hear your voice

Sayin my name, It sounds so sweet

Comin from the lips of an angel

Hearin those words It makes me weak

And I never want to say goodbye

But girl you make it hard to be faithful

With the lips of an angel

Lips of an Angel - Hinder

of Gay Men

I’ve always been somewhat fascinated and curious about gay men.

No, not curious in THAT sense… but in a more intellectual way.

Like for instance, how to they work out who’s the ‘man’ in the relationship, or is that interchangeable? In bed, who’s the ‘fucker’ and who’s the ‘fuckee’? (Hahaha.. fucker-fuckee, love that) or is that interchangeable too? Do they really feel NOTHING when seeing a naked woman? If they received a blowjob from a woman, would it arouse them? Do they see themselves more as women trapped in a man’s body, or just men true blue men who just like dicks more than vagina? And if you were limber enough to do it, would you suck on your own cock? If you sucked your own cock, is that being gay, or is that masturbating?

Pop culture likes to tell you that gay men are all flamboyant, well dressed, artsy, well groomed and intelligent.

From experience, I’ll have say – that is so fucking true.

I only have 2 gay friends…. but they are both all of the above. They have an eye for all things beautiful. they have a certain flair and they truly dare to be different even if it means not being popular (or accepted). I can really picture them saying the words “You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same”

I will tell you very honestly that most (if not all) straight men do feel uncomfortable when dealing with gay men. Ya, we try to act cool about it, we try to go out of our way to show it’s no big deal….. but deep down inside, we’re all a bit uncomfortable. Not when we’re dealing with you, not when we’re hanging out with you, and not even when we’re giving you a big bear hug before going home. But when the two of you are together.

I was just listening to my gay friend recollecting excitedly about the little birthday surprise his partner threw him. He made this really sweet and thoughtful treasure hunt around the house for him to find his present. One clue led to another, one puzzled led to another before he finally found his present tucked underneath his bed. It was a really really sweet and romantic gesture… which even I had to admire.

As the two of them started talking more and more excitedly, you kinda knew this was quite an intimate little moment they were sharing. I watched the two of them and started asking myself “Are they gonna kiss each other? Is he going to brush his cheek? Is he going to hug him? Is he going to snuggle and say how sweet he was? Is this going to be one of those couple's intimate moments? My GOSH… DON’T DO IT.. DON’T DO IT…..”

Thankfully, they didn’t. I’d totally freak out if they did.

I don’t have a problem accepting people for who they are. If you like having other men stick their dicks up your ass that’s up to you. I’d still hang out with you. But I do have a problem with accepting a homosexual relationship for what it is. More so than I’d have of say people being polygamous or partner swapping or any of those things. Mainly because homosexuality among men does feel like something against the natural order of nature. I mean, check out your equipment dude. It’s built for something else. Hammers are used on nails. Screwdrivers are used on screws.. You don’t take two hammers and start banging and rubbing them against each other. That’s not what it’s designed to do…. And frankly, it just confuses the rest of the hammers… Get my drift? And what’s wrong with women anyway? They look good, they smell good, they have soft skin, they are gentle….. and they even have the right equipment!

But there usually 2 reasons why people refrain from speaking out against homosexual relationships.

The first one is that people don’t want to be intolerant. We live in an age of plurality and society demands that we are accept people of all races, colours, nationalities, religions and even sexual preferences. We argue with ourselves that if we want others to accept us for who we are, we should not and cannot in turn try to judge other people. Treat others how you would like to be treated – it’s a common rule in civilized society. We also live in a very secular society where there is no such thing as moral absolutes. The common argument is that as long as it’s not breaking the law, and it’s not hurting anybody it’s OK. To try to stand up and say that there are very defined rights and wrongs in issues of morality will instantly earn you the label of ‘fundamentalist’ or ‘intolerant’.

Secondly, and more significantly, gay / lesbian friends are often genuinely nice people. More often than not, they are our friends and…… good ones at that. My best friend in high school was gay. And when someone is close to you, it’s very hard to try and impose your prejudices on them. Our natural instinct is to accept them rather than alienate them. We don’t want our friends to feel like they aren’t allowed to be who they are if they want to continue being our friends. We never put ultimatums to our friendships. It’s bad enough that society as a whole rejects them.. what kind of friend can we claim to be if even we who know them refuse to accept them?

But as much as I try to, the sight of two grown men holding hands, hugging and kissing will always make me shift uneasily. Pull them apart and I can accept them individually, but put them together.. it’s always a different story. I do realize that makes me an ‘intolerant’ person.. but that’s because deep down inside, I do believe that is something called moral absolutes. There are things in life we inherently know are wrong.. like murder, cannibalism, rape and in this case… homosexuality. Unless you’re talking about two hot lesbians making out in bed – because that’s a different story!

We men…… such creatures of double standard. ;-)

Cheers…

Just A Click Away

I was talking to a friend a few nights ago.

She just got herself a new boyfriend.

"Where did you meet him?"

"On the internet....."

"As in Facebook?"

"No..... as in online dating agency."

"You serious? Doesn't that seem kind of........desperate?"

"Maybe it does seem that way over here. But in Australia, it's pretty common. And the people who sign up are pretty genuine and sincere. They aren't dodgy like the ones here."

"OK. So what does he look like?"

She shows me a picture of him. My eyes widen as I took good look at him. Caucasian. Well built. Six Pack. Tone muscles.

"You sure you didn't steal this picture off Men's Health Magazine or something?"

I am greeted with a smack.

"He's a nice guy. And he meets a lot of my requirements. And so far, so good." she said with a grin that seemed to hint that there was more to that statement.

They guy was certainly a hunk. It kinda annoyed me why all these Caucasian men seemed to be stealing away all our Asian women. Not that I mind too much, it's just that it's more of  a one way street. Caucasian women seldom ever get attracted to Asian men.

I looked at her very intently. I wanted to ask what was really on my mind but another friend was there, so I held my tongue. She had just broken up at the beginning of the year. I suspected that her main 'requirements' was a steady source of sex. We've talked openly about it before, and I know sex was a big deal to her.. or rather, NO SEX was a big deal to her. Which I totally understand.... being a guy and all.

I mean, here she was this woman, who knew EXACTLY what she wanted. She wanted a man, and a hunky one at that, one that would satisfy her sexual needs NOW. And all she had to do was click... click... and click.....

And I was thinking

Why the hell can't I find such a thing?

Mark my words... ANY woman can easily pick a man up for sex.. be it at the bar, in the club or on the interenet just by snapping her fingers (or clicking her mouse in this case).. But not for men. It all comes back to the economics of supply and demand. There is an oversupply of horny men looking for sex. We're not a dime a dozen a hundred times over. Even if you are smart, intelligent and witty *ahem* it's virtually impossible for you to be differentiated in the sea horny men. And all you really have to differentiate yourself from the rest, is the size of your penis.... Doesn't help that I'm Chinese.


F.M.L....

The Curious Case of Sex Blogs

Sex blogging is an interesting phenomenon.

I remember some time back that a journalist actually stumbled upon my blog and sent me an email asking if I was interested to do an interview with him about this whole sex blogging thing that seems to be rampant among blogs. I replied saying that I didn’t mind but he was probably better of interviewing other more qualified (and interesting) sex bloggers who were not only more explicit, but were actually written by women. I don’t think my blog really qualifies as a sex blog. I told him “……..it's not meant to be a 'sex blog' per se, just a blog with stuff with sex in it, among other things.” Anyway, the interview never happened because the project got delayed indefinitely.

If you’ve done your bit of sex blog browsing, you’ll know that although the numbers are not little, there aren’t that many souls out there doing it. Male blogs are rare… Male blogs that actually write decent stuff rather than just mindless fuck episodes are ever rarer.


The most popular ones often have followers and readers going to the hundreds (possibly thousands). The formula for success of these ‘most popular’ blogs seems to be about the same. You need only 3 things.

#1 You need to be a woman.
In shape with a genuine vagina, boobs, Ass… Enough.

#2 Nudity
Take explicit photos / videos of yourself. Never mind if your face is cut away or censored. No one’s really interested in your face. Show pictures of your boobs, ass and pussy in various angles and in various costumes, lingerie or cloths.

#3 Do crazy shit
Take pictures / just write about crazy stuff you do. Never mind whether it’s made up or not. Give blowjobs in stairways. Fly to Italy to become someone’s part time whore. Have sex for 12 hours straight with 50 men. Conduct random surveys about the dick sizes of your readers. The crazier it is, the more popular you will be.

Sex sells. Even if you write like shit, even if your grammar is poor.. it doesn’t matter. Just show a bit of boob, ass and pussy.. and all is forgiven. There will be hoards of male readers eager to cheer you on and praise you on every single post… telling you how hard you make them, telling how horny you get them, how much they want you. If you want to know how it feels to be lusted for by dozens of men… Just do these 3 things.

But don’t expect me to be one of them. I followed quite a few of them for a while. I found it utterly and completely fascinating. Then it started to get stale, and I stopped following the more graphical ones since they did nothing more than just post endless streams of nude photos of themselves. Then I stopped following those who just wrote nonstop about how they fuck this person and that person, in this place and in that place. Everything just sounded same same. There’s no drama, there’s no conflict, there’s no emotion, there’s no story….. just ‘I’m-horny-You’re-horny-we-fucked-end-of-story’.


I realized that fictitious sex stories were actually more interesting than real life ones for two reasons. No.1 People who wrote fiction have better writing skills and better imaginations. No.2 Real life isn’t nearly as dramatic as the ones in the story. No one really fucks their cousin. No one really gets it on with their bosses daughter. No one really swaps partners and become swingers. The truth is, the IDEA of illicit sex is so much more seductive that what it really is in real life.

And I guess that is a truth everyone who has ever tried writing a sex blog soon finds out. We only have so many stories to tell, we only have so many escapes to share, we only have so many secrets we keep. The writer is left with two choices. Spice up your blog before you lose your readers or stop. No one stops immediately.. and so they continue. They start writing more explicitly or revealing more and more skin. The level needs to up because readers get used to the previous highs and demand more. Then they realize they have nothing left to write unless they make shit up. Then they feel burned out and trapped because having gained so much popularity, they now have nothing left to say / share. And then they are FORCED to stop. And that is eventually how many sex blogs fizz out.

I was reading some other sex bloggers thoughts about wanting to stop. She had been sharing so many things about herself and enjoyed the adoration of so many men. But she was burned out.. because the blog seemed to bring her more harm than good. She felt attached to the blog, but also felt like it was actually working against her conscience. I wanted to say something, but decided against it. Some things need to be figured out on our own. Her attachment to her blog was because she enjoyed the attention. We all love attention. It re-affirms our existence. When we receive attention we feel acknowledged and accepted. THIS is why she still can’t bring herself to stop blogging. But on the other hand, her conscience was tugging at her. Her heart tells her that was she is doing is wrong. And when you don’t listen to your heart when it speaks… it gets torn apart.

For those who anonymously blog about their sex lives, or their opinions – why do they do it? Why do we sit down and deem it worth penning down these acts that are supposedly private and confidential? I think different people do it for different reasons. And you can usually tell from the way they write.

Some just want the attention. They are voyeurs who want to feel adored and desired. These kinds are the ones that usually show a lot of explicit photos or write very detailed accounts of their exploits. The focus is a lot on what they did.

Some just want to express. These are the people who are born writers who are just lonely at heart and need an ear. Perhaps they’ve done a lot of crazy shit in their lives and need an outlet to just express it. I suspect a lot of them write not for the sake of others, but for themselves. They write to try to crystallize, make sense, remember, come to terms or immortalize what they went through. They focus a lot on what how they feel.

And some.. just don’t know what they want. I won’t be surprised if there have been people who after reading so many sex blogs, thought it would be a good idea to start one themselves. These usually fizzle out the quickest. They either realize that writing doesn’t come naturally to them, they’re too uncomfortable sharing explicit photos of themselves… or don’t know what to write in the first place. These people usually end up trying to ask the readers what they think they should do. They don’t focus on anything.. and basically don’t know what the hell they are doing.

Me?

I’m just a guy who neither posts nude photos, writes about his sexual exploits nor does any crazy shit. I am the most ordinary, plain, normal guy you will ever find writing about sex. Is that interesting enough to be worthy of a read? Well, no actually. And I don’t try to pretend that it’s anything more than that.

You may ask if I want attention. I will say yes

You may ask if I seek to express. I will say yes.

You may ask if I am confused. I will say ‘you have no idea how much….’

Cheers everyone..

The Myth of The Fuck Buddy

I'm starting to realize that gay men have this very uncanny ability to search each other out. For all the talk about gay men being the discreet minority... it seems awfully easy for a gay man to hook up with other gay men should he want to.

One gay friend of mine met his current partner online and he flew in all the way from the US just to be with him here in Malaysia. Of course we all know that the internet has been one of the most useful tools for gay men to look up discreetly... gay website, chatrooms etc. But that's not the only avenue. There are plenty of well known gay bars in KL, even in conservative Malaysia. Step into one of these, and you can be sure to find yourself a swamp of potential fuck buddies / partner.

Which gets me somewhat pissed off really.

Why is it that it's easier for discreet, minority, homosexual men to hook up than it is for majority, heterosexual men? You'd think that since there is such an overwhelming majority of horny, hetereosexual men and women around, it's be easier. But it's not. Not in this part of the world anyway.

Imagine a gay man. He's horny that night and is looking to hook up. He walks into a gay bar.There are dozens of other gay men around. The premise is simple; a bar where everyone has a common sexuality and a common interest in mind, sex. There's no two ways about it. They are all there because they like fucking other men. Since fucking each other is the common denominator here, steering a conversation from small talk to sex is unsurprising at all.

Now imagine a straight man. He's horny that night and is looking to hook up. He walks into a straight bar. There are dozens of women around. But things are far from simple. You don't know who's there with someone, who's alone, who's just having a night out with the girls, who's just there to dance and drink and who's looking to hook up. You are left to go with the flow and see what happens. You could go to a dodgier bar where there are women to pick up.. but they often turn out to just be prostitutes.

Maybe it's just me and my inexperience, but I think the idea of one night stands and fuck buddies have been over glamorized over in this part of the world. I suspect that most (if not all) women here are essentially one partner sexual beings. One night stands do happen maybe, but I'm starting to believe that the concept of a fuck buddy is in fact a myth over here. I don't think straight men and women hook up with each other to be fuck buddies as easily as gay men do. There are more avenues (virtual & physical) for gay men to hook up than there are for heterosexual men and women. - which is ironic considering it is gay men who are supposedly hiding in closets.

I know that the idea of a fuck buddy captures the imagination (and lust) of a lot of men and maybe a few women. The idea of wonton sexual pleasure with someone with no strings attached remains a very delicious proposition. Even for me, I find it hard to stop obsessing about it despite being very close to considering it as impossible. The lust overcomes and ever pushes you to deeper, darker places of secret pleasure in your mind.

For the most part, I'm suspect that the fuck buddy is a fantasy men have conjured up for himself. He believes that there are women out there who would see sex the way he does. But majority women aren't wired like that. Sex and emotional attachment come together. Sex is exclusive with the one she chooses. She'd go so far as to tease you with her blog, show you explicit photos of her body and write raunchy post about her sexual acts.... but she is still in essence, a one-man-one-woman person. She will not be your fuck buddy.

Either that, or I've been looking in all the wrong places.....

Muscle Men

I was doing the somewhat gay-ish act of looking at some pictures of male body builders.

Not that I'm turning bi-sexual or anything. A friend of a friend was just posting his pics up on Facebook and I couldn't help but feel curious. From the comments, most women seem to be more intimidated rather than attracted to these sort of men with supersized muscles. I'm talking about Arnold Schwarzenegger He-Man kinda stuff.. Like this

But I was just curious.. how come more women don't find these sort of bodies appealing? I mean, isn't sexual and physical attraction a lot about a person's body? Men are attracted to women who have big boobs, round asses, long legs, small waist. Women on the other hand are attracted to men with strong arms, broad shoulders, six packs, tight ass and (hopefully) a generous dick to boot.

When you look at a body builder, isn't he supposed to epitomize what all men aspire to be, and what all women desire to have? If the underlying need of all women is to feel safe and secure in the arms of a man, doesn't it mean that these guys should be top of the list?

And yet they aren't. Or are they? I don't really know. I think I need to start surveying some women for a good answer.

I do know that universally, ALL women do find a guy like this sexy and would be willing to drop their panties at a minutes notice.

But looking around, I feel somewhat apologetic towards the women around here. I mean.. the lot of us normal guys (me included) are a far cry from how Brad Pitt or even Arnie looks like in terms of build. In fact, I do believe that there are more hunky, well build western men than there are Asian men. The only Asian men with any sort of six pack are usually the skinny ones that look malnurished more than anything else. The rest of us usually look more like this.

Give or take a few pounds of course....

;-)

Blowjob, Beer or Both

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