Fucking Good Gentleman

Someone once confided in me that there were only 2 things she really needed a man to be; a gentleman in the day, and a sex god at night.

"Think about it. I just want a guy who knows how to treat me well... and at night when you're all stressed and uptight, a guy who knows how to give you a good time. And what better time can you have than having damn good sex right?" she said.

"Damn it, how come there aren't more women like you out there?" I said.

So she was looking for a fucking good gentleman (or is that good fucking gentleman?). I was tempted to blurt out that I was a blardy good fuck myself if she wanted to have a go, but the gentleman part stopped me from doing it. I couldn't be sure that was me or the wine talking (this was our second bottle), and I couldn't be sure if I was really a good fuck at all. I haven't exactly passed out evaluation forms with the women I've been with if you know what I mean.

People say that sex is a physical thing. People looking for a quick fuck say it's purely physical - no emotions involved. But the fact is, you still have to be attracted to someone to even want to go bed with them. And attraction is a mental thing. When you're attracted to them, you desire them, and when you desire them, the sex part is always, always more intense and pleasurable. And the more pleasurable it is, the more likely you will be considered 'a good fuck' by said woman.


Even though we'd just drank 2 bottles of wine between the two of us, and we were both kinda tipsy, and all we were talking about was sex, I still couldn't know if I was desirable in any way to this woman. Even if I did somehow manage to seduce her to bed, there isn't any guarantee she'd find me any good. Plus, she was a FRIEND. Some lines can be flirted closely with, but never crossed. I guess somewhere inside, I knew with this friend at least, I couldn't bring myself to cross that line..... unless I knew she wanted to. Damn, I can be so evil.


"Well, here's a toast...... to you finding yourself a good man, and a good fuck for life. I'll be sure to keep a lookout for you" I raised my glass.


"I'll toast to that. Cheers." she said.


"Your only problem is - a true gentleman never kiss and tells. So if he's really a gentleman AND a good fuck, his ethics will mean that he never boast such things to you. So, that leaves only 1 sure way to finding your man" I said.

"And what's that?" she ask

"You've got to start bedding more gentleman." I said.

"OK. You know any?"

"As a matter of fact, yes I do."

"Who?"

ME!