The Cheating Game

Would you cheat on your partner if you knew they would never find out?

That's a really acid questions ain't it? How loyal are you to your partner? What if you could just have a bit of fun on the side.. and it would never see the light of day?

Would you do it? If I am being honest. I'd say its a 90% yes for me. Blame it on the lame ass evolutionary theory.. Us male are just so sex drive that our first instincts is to just go around spreading the seed and ensuring our little sperm gets into as many vagina's as possible.

Here's the funny part... I've been in a relationship 7 years.. and I have been completely loyal.. No hanky panky at the side.. No affairs... nothing... It may be something to be proud of I guess.. But to be REALLY HONEST... I doubt if I have gone this far out of true blue loyalty or out of the 'lack of opportunity'...... We have been living together for almost the entire time.. eating, sleeping, bathing reading and practically everything together. I would be lying if I said I never fantasized or yearned to have the experience of sex with someone else.

Damn, I've had sexual fantasies about every other decent looking female friend I know. Its sad and perverted I know...but its the truth. I'd look at pictures of my friends and wondered how they looked like naked.. or how they were in bed.. Were they wild? Are they noisy? Do they give good blowjobs? Do they swallow or take it in the ass? And all this while.. its your friend you are thinking of here... sipping coffee with you in starbucks. Yes, I'm messed up.. save me.

Here's the underlying reason I write all this. My partner plans to go to the middle east to work for a year. She wants to do this so that we can raise enough money for many things.. her loans... her brothers education... her mothers care.. but the chief reason would be us. She wants us to be married ASAP.... with the money, she wants to have the wedding of her dreams.. and a downpayment for our future home together. I am all for it for many reasons............ but there is a flip side to it...

A year away.. means for an entire year.. I am effectively SINGLE..... with NO SEX FOR A YEAR.. Now this may sound stupid or brainless.. but I just know.. after a few months.... some things are going to get itchy... and horny... and I'd start wondering perhaps even act on those thoughts.... Not that I plan to go find a prostitute or anything... But what if the chance came along in that year for me to score with someone? Would I resist it? Damn it.... I don't know.. Maybe I'd chicken out... maybe my conscience will get the better of me and I'd find some superhuman strenght to say no... or maybe I would feel just too damn horny to care.. I don't know...

Back to the evolution theory.. I guess a part of me also just really needs to get it out of the sytem.. to 'fool around' and score, get my numbers up, so to speak.. before settling down to married like... Its like a mans last act of freedom before surrendering his bachelorhood and commit.

If that makes me a bad person, they I guess I just feel the real need to be bad for once in my life......... You know how some people are congratulated and cheered after turning a new leaf after living a bad life? Well.. I don't have a damn leaf to turn. There is nothing to turn..... People who turn a new leaf have been bad and are now good.. I'm like the good guy who just wants be be the bad guy for a while.. just to know how it feels, before coming back to being the good guy.

Does that make sense to you?