of Gay Men

I’ve always been somewhat fascinated and curious about gay men.

No, not curious in THAT sense… but in a more intellectual way.

Like for instance, how to they work out who’s the ‘man’ in the relationship, or is that interchangeable? In bed, who’s the ‘fucker’ and who’s the ‘fuckee’? (Hahaha.. fucker-fuckee, love that) or is that interchangeable too? Do they really feel NOTHING when seeing a naked woman? If they received a blowjob from a woman, would it arouse them? Do they see themselves more as women trapped in a man’s body, or just men true blue men who just like dicks more than vagina? And if you were limber enough to do it, would you suck on your own cock? If you sucked your own cock, is that being gay, or is that masturbating?

Pop culture likes to tell you that gay men are all flamboyant, well dressed, artsy, well groomed and intelligent.

From experience, I’ll have say – that is so fucking true.

I only have 2 gay friends…. but they are both all of the above. They have an eye for all things beautiful. they have a certain flair and they truly dare to be different even if it means not being popular (or accepted). I can really picture them saying the words “You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same”

I will tell you very honestly that most (if not all) straight men do feel uncomfortable when dealing with gay men. Ya, we try to act cool about it, we try to go out of our way to show it’s no big deal….. but deep down inside, we’re all a bit uncomfortable. Not when we’re dealing with you, not when we’re hanging out with you, and not even when we’re giving you a big bear hug before going home. But when the two of you are together.

I was just listening to my gay friend recollecting excitedly about the little birthday surprise his partner threw him. He made this really sweet and thoughtful treasure hunt around the house for him to find his present. One clue led to another, one puzzled led to another before he finally found his present tucked underneath his bed. It was a really really sweet and romantic gesture… which even I had to admire.

As the two of them started talking more and more excitedly, you kinda knew this was quite an intimate little moment they were sharing. I watched the two of them and started asking myself “Are they gonna kiss each other? Is he going to brush his cheek? Is he going to hug him? Is he going to snuggle and say how sweet he was? Is this going to be one of those couple's intimate moments? My GOSH… DON’T DO IT.. DON’T DO IT…..”

Thankfully, they didn’t. I’d totally freak out if they did.

I don’t have a problem accepting people for who they are. If you like having other men stick their dicks up your ass that’s up to you. I’d still hang out with you. But I do have a problem with accepting a homosexual relationship for what it is. More so than I’d have of say people being polygamous or partner swapping or any of those things. Mainly because homosexuality among men does feel like something against the natural order of nature. I mean, check out your equipment dude. It’s built for something else. Hammers are used on nails. Screwdrivers are used on screws.. You don’t take two hammers and start banging and rubbing them against each other. That’s not what it’s designed to do…. And frankly, it just confuses the rest of the hammers… Get my drift? And what’s wrong with women anyway? They look good, they smell good, they have soft skin, they are gentle….. and they even have the right equipment!

But there usually 2 reasons why people refrain from speaking out against homosexual relationships.

The first one is that people don’t want to be intolerant. We live in an age of plurality and society demands that we are accept people of all races, colours, nationalities, religions and even sexual preferences. We argue with ourselves that if we want others to accept us for who we are, we should not and cannot in turn try to judge other people. Treat others how you would like to be treated – it’s a common rule in civilized society. We also live in a very secular society where there is no such thing as moral absolutes. The common argument is that as long as it’s not breaking the law, and it’s not hurting anybody it’s OK. To try to stand up and say that there are very defined rights and wrongs in issues of morality will instantly earn you the label of ‘fundamentalist’ or ‘intolerant’.

Secondly, and more significantly, gay / lesbian friends are often genuinely nice people. More often than not, they are our friends and…… good ones at that. My best friend in high school was gay. And when someone is close to you, it’s very hard to try and impose your prejudices on them. Our natural instinct is to accept them rather than alienate them. We don’t want our friends to feel like they aren’t allowed to be who they are if they want to continue being our friends. We never put ultimatums to our friendships. It’s bad enough that society as a whole rejects them.. what kind of friend can we claim to be if even we who know them refuse to accept them?

But as much as I try to, the sight of two grown men holding hands, hugging and kissing will always make me shift uneasily. Pull them apart and I can accept them individually, but put them together.. it’s always a different story. I do realize that makes me an ‘intolerant’ person.. but that’s because deep down inside, I do believe that is something called moral absolutes. There are things in life we inherently know are wrong.. like murder, cannibalism, rape and in this case… homosexuality. Unless you’re talking about two hot lesbians making out in bed – because that’s a different story!

We men…… such creatures of double standard. ;-)

Cheers…