The Curious Case of Sex Blogs

Sex blogging is an interesting phenomenon.

I remember some time back that a journalist actually stumbled upon my blog and sent me an email asking if I was interested to do an interview with him about this whole sex blogging thing that seems to be rampant among blogs. I replied saying that I didn’t mind but he was probably better of interviewing other more qualified (and interesting) sex bloggers who were not only more explicit, but were actually written by women. I don’t think my blog really qualifies as a sex blog. I told him “……..it's not meant to be a 'sex blog' per se, just a blog with stuff with sex in it, among other things.” Anyway, the interview never happened because the project got delayed indefinitely.

If you’ve done your bit of sex blog browsing, you’ll know that although the numbers are not little, there aren’t that many souls out there doing it. Male blogs are rare… Male blogs that actually write decent stuff rather than just mindless fuck episodes are ever rarer.


The most popular ones often have followers and readers going to the hundreds (possibly thousands). The formula for success of these ‘most popular’ blogs seems to be about the same. You need only 3 things.

#1 You need to be a woman.
In shape with a genuine vagina, boobs, Ass… Enough.

#2 Nudity
Take explicit photos / videos of yourself. Never mind if your face is cut away or censored. No one’s really interested in your face. Show pictures of your boobs, ass and pussy in various angles and in various costumes, lingerie or cloths.

#3 Do crazy shit
Take pictures / just write about crazy stuff you do. Never mind whether it’s made up or not. Give blowjobs in stairways. Fly to Italy to become someone’s part time whore. Have sex for 12 hours straight with 50 men. Conduct random surveys about the dick sizes of your readers. The crazier it is, the more popular you will be.

Sex sells. Even if you write like shit, even if your grammar is poor.. it doesn’t matter. Just show a bit of boob, ass and pussy.. and all is forgiven. There will be hoards of male readers eager to cheer you on and praise you on every single post… telling you how hard you make them, telling how horny you get them, how much they want you. If you want to know how it feels to be lusted for by dozens of men… Just do these 3 things.

But don’t expect me to be one of them. I followed quite a few of them for a while. I found it utterly and completely fascinating. Then it started to get stale, and I stopped following the more graphical ones since they did nothing more than just post endless streams of nude photos of themselves. Then I stopped following those who just wrote nonstop about how they fuck this person and that person, in this place and in that place. Everything just sounded same same. There’s no drama, there’s no conflict, there’s no emotion, there’s no story….. just ‘I’m-horny-You’re-horny-we-fucked-end-of-story’.


I realized that fictitious sex stories were actually more interesting than real life ones for two reasons. No.1 People who wrote fiction have better writing skills and better imaginations. No.2 Real life isn’t nearly as dramatic as the ones in the story. No one really fucks their cousin. No one really gets it on with their bosses daughter. No one really swaps partners and become swingers. The truth is, the IDEA of illicit sex is so much more seductive that what it really is in real life.

And I guess that is a truth everyone who has ever tried writing a sex blog soon finds out. We only have so many stories to tell, we only have so many escapes to share, we only have so many secrets we keep. The writer is left with two choices. Spice up your blog before you lose your readers or stop. No one stops immediately.. and so they continue. They start writing more explicitly or revealing more and more skin. The level needs to up because readers get used to the previous highs and demand more. Then they realize they have nothing left to write unless they make shit up. Then they feel burned out and trapped because having gained so much popularity, they now have nothing left to say / share. And then they are FORCED to stop. And that is eventually how many sex blogs fizz out.

I was reading some other sex bloggers thoughts about wanting to stop. She had been sharing so many things about herself and enjoyed the adoration of so many men. But she was burned out.. because the blog seemed to bring her more harm than good. She felt attached to the blog, but also felt like it was actually working against her conscience. I wanted to say something, but decided against it. Some things need to be figured out on our own. Her attachment to her blog was because she enjoyed the attention. We all love attention. It re-affirms our existence. When we receive attention we feel acknowledged and accepted. THIS is why she still can’t bring herself to stop blogging. But on the other hand, her conscience was tugging at her. Her heart tells her that was she is doing is wrong. And when you don’t listen to your heart when it speaks… it gets torn apart.

For those who anonymously blog about their sex lives, or their opinions – why do they do it? Why do we sit down and deem it worth penning down these acts that are supposedly private and confidential? I think different people do it for different reasons. And you can usually tell from the way they write.

Some just want the attention. They are voyeurs who want to feel adored and desired. These kinds are the ones that usually show a lot of explicit photos or write very detailed accounts of their exploits. The focus is a lot on what they did.

Some just want to express. These are the people who are born writers who are just lonely at heart and need an ear. Perhaps they’ve done a lot of crazy shit in their lives and need an outlet to just express it. I suspect a lot of them write not for the sake of others, but for themselves. They write to try to crystallize, make sense, remember, come to terms or immortalize what they went through. They focus a lot on what how they feel.

And some.. just don’t know what they want. I won’t be surprised if there have been people who after reading so many sex blogs, thought it would be a good idea to start one themselves. These usually fizzle out the quickest. They either realize that writing doesn’t come naturally to them, they’re too uncomfortable sharing explicit photos of themselves… or don’t know what to write in the first place. These people usually end up trying to ask the readers what they think they should do. They don’t focus on anything.. and basically don’t know what the hell they are doing.

Me?

I’m just a guy who neither posts nude photos, writes about his sexual exploits nor does any crazy shit. I am the most ordinary, plain, normal guy you will ever find writing about sex. Is that interesting enough to be worthy of a read? Well, no actually. And I don’t try to pretend that it’s anything more than that.

You may ask if I want attention. I will say yes

You may ask if I seek to express. I will say yes.

You may ask if I am confused. I will say ‘you have no idea how much….’

Cheers everyone..