Secrets You'll Never Know

Curb Your Horny-ism

2011-12-15T01:04:00.000+08:00

You’d think that doing nothing would be easy enough, but it’s not.

How to stay put when your body is screaming for some loving? How to stay put when the tingles in your loins constantly remind you of the carnal pleasures it so badly wants? How to distract yourself when every time you close your eyes, she appears? Yes, her…. the one you’ve been having countless fantasies of…. the one you think of every time you sit there alone in your room, hundreds of miles away from home… the one you'd pounce on and ravage every other night, if only she'd let you...

Curbing horny thoughts are an immense challenge for a man sometimes. Masturbating helped a bit. But I found myself going back to those scenarios again and again, the ones played out in all those emails.. which just got me hornier. Eventually, I realized I had to stop, else even the cleaner lady downstairs my start looking sexy.

Being in this unique little country of Singapore didn’t help much either. For one, Singapore is filled with stylish looking, nice smelling, and eye pleasing women. Everywhere you go, you see beautiful, well groomed women walking about the central business district. And when you’re feeling horny (like I was), you basically start mentally undressing every hot chick you see. And secondly, there’s the rather well known fact that prostitution is legal in this country. You could technically drive yourself to a brothel and pay a woman to satisfying all your wonton desires, and still have not done anything wrong (in the legal sense anyway).

But it's not just Singapore. There is something about being away from home that somehow shifts your mental behavior. For some reason, I’m always horny when I'm here.. more so than I am back home. I think being in a fresh surrounding, no longer confined by the rules and constraints back home, makes you feel somehow less inhibited. You’re willing to try more things, you’re willing to keep more of an open mind. You don’t walk around thinking you already know what’s there and how things happen. The neighborhood becomes your playground again, its exciting again, and you want to play peek-a-boo with that cute little girl by the swing. Only, she looks stunning in that miniskirt, watching her puff her cigarette turns you on, and peek-a-boo here ends with an additional ‘b’. Peek-a-boob.

In the end I decided that the best way to curb said horniness, was by doing the most unsexy things I could think of… like doing my laundry, and shopping for cleaning detergents, mopping the floor, and of course, cleaning the toilet (all of which I will testify, make you feel terribly unsexy). I also decided that I will buy myself an enormous bag of potato chips as reward / compensation for my noble efforts of trying to stay sexually pure whist away. It seemed like a fair trade off. I should be allowed to be a fat, overweight but honest man, stuffing his mouth with potato chips, for not being the trim, fitter horny bastard, trying to stick his penis into assorted vaginas. It seemed like a good idea anyway…..until I finished the chips. After which, I just felt like a fat, overweight horny bastard who still wanted to stick his penis into assorted vaginas anyway.

So much for the effectiveness of comfort food.

Your emails are evil honey. I love them ;-)

Only One Way

2011-09-20T23:30:00.001+08:00

We may screw it all up....

We may end up hurting each other...

Or...

We could really end up

Rocking each others world...

Either way babe...

there's really only one way to find out...

Penis Size

2011-09-19T12:15:00.004+08:00

Penis size.

I know the topics as stales as a mouldy burger in a smelly, rotten fridge, but I'm bringing it up anyway.

It matters... especially to the men themselves.

Women generally swear that it doesn't. They say they don't mind men with tiny penises. It's the love that counts. Or at least, the skill. Great things still can be done by if wield your equipment well enough, even if it's just a toothpick (ouch...) It really does feel like a case of women just doing the kind thing in not totally and utterly destroying our egos. They are very much the kinder sex. You'll be hard pressed to ever find a woman openly admitting that size does matter. So far, I've only come across one woman (albeit only virtually) who has been completely honest and blunt about it.

But I'll tell you who it really matters most to. Men themselves.

Men handle their penis on a daily basis. We are intimately familiar with it. And size penis size is mostly pre-destined the day you were born into either a well hung African family with penises that look like batons or a southernly-challenged Oriental family with penises that look like really short chopsticks. Men spend most of their puberty years and early adulthood learning how to live with their pre-destined equipment. Big, long, thick, straight, curve, short, thin or crooked, we live with it, protect it, and even try to be proud of it. Defending its stature is literally defending our manhood.

Our brains are hardwired; penis size = how manly I am. If you see a strong, muscular, dominant alpha male, you'd never imagine he'd have a tiny penis. On the other hand, tiny, weak, geeky, submissive beta males with tiny penises are perfectly imaginable. Alpha males get the women. Beta males don't. And since all men want to be the alpha male, we all want a big, bad ass penis that we can proudly unveil as the pants start dropping.

So when you see the picture of it honey, please remember to see the captions that came with it.

*Objects appears smaller than they are in real life.*

And if you ever see it in real life, here's the caption for it

*Shrinks while cold & limp. Rub & kiss to expand*

:-P

Cheers everyone.

After The Fuck

2011-09-13T16:56:00.001+08:00

Have you ever noticed how before you have sex, sex seem like such a big deal. You really feel like you could just die if you don't get some right now. You see a beautiful woman, and you want her, you hear a sexy voice and you want her. Your mind gets consumed by it.You think about the possible candidates you know that just my jump into bed for a short romp with you, and even the most unlikely ones get considered, like maybe your semi-blood related cousin, that girl you exchange dirty emails with, or the cute girl from next door.

And then you get some... and during sex, it really is the most fucking awesome thing you will experience in your life. You're spanking her ass, thrusting hard and giving it to her doggy style and you think to yourself "Oh-My-Fucking-God, I want to have sex 24hrs a day every day." And that thought just gets truer and truer the closer you are to climax.

Climax (or Orgasm) of course just feels like "oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck FUCK YEAH!"

And then the whole things done and you just lie around in Post Coitus bliss for a while, smooching each other, smiling and just wanting to doze off into wonderland.

And then there's the next day.. and everything seems so... well... normal. You see a woman bend over, and the sight of her cleavage doesn't make you want to go jerk off in the bathroom right that instant. You can talk to that girl across the street without imagining her naked. Everything seems less sexed up. You wonder how you ever get so charged up about porn, or getting laid or having a threesome. After all, sex isn't everything in this life.

Of course, we only ever say or think that way after we've just gotten some... or if we get it regularly.

Men always get a bad rap for being horny. If a man openly talks about a sexy women, women roll their eyes and call them perverts. When women openly confess how hot Taylor Lautners abs are, it's supposed to be fine! Men don't roll their eyes in response because, well, we don't have Taylor Lautner's abs.

We're all sexual perverts in one way or another. We are all governed / motivated by our sexual desire. Some have strong impulses, some not so. I will be the first to admit that my sexual desires have let me to places, and made me do things I cannot speak about openly. And I know this is true for almost every normal, functional, sexual human adult.

If you're horny, is it so hard to admit it and be proud of it? It means you're not dysfunctional.

(I am of course, horny as I write this.)

Cheers everybody.

The Obedient Wives Club

2011-06-08T18:16:00.002+08:00

Obedient Wives Club to offer sex lessons

It's things like this that make Malaysia such an entertaining (albeit embarrasing) place to live sometimes.

A bunch of Muslim housewives, spearheaded by a group of former polygamy advocators are offering sex lessons to wives so that they can "serve their husbands better than a first class prostitute.".. because "a husband who was kept happy in the bedroom would have no reason to stray, seek out prostitutes or indulge in other social vices."

I know I should be outraged at the blatant sexism and all.. but honestly, I'm just amused.

Just HOW are they going to pull off these lessons?

I think it's safe to assume that tha vast majority of adults of our times have never received any sort of 'formal' lessons on how to have sex. So how are a bunch of tudung wearing housewives going to teach other housewives how to serve it up better than a first clast prostitute in bed? Will they have 'practical sessions' i.e. voyuerism? Or perhaps use some visual aids i.e. porn? Or will they just use cucumbers and doughnuts as tools?

Secondly, how will these 'trainers' even know how a first class prostitute performs in bed? What would be the qualification criteria for these trainers? How do you know if you're up to par with the best of prostitutes without having some prior knowledge or experience?

It's silly to say lack of a lack of mind blowing sex at home is the source of all social ills. But I suspect most men aren't about to complain (too much) about it anyway. It's every mans dream come true if their wife / girlfriend is a lady in public but a nympho in bed.

The way I see it, the only way this is going to work is that these women will have to be already somewhat kinky. You WILL need to have watched some (or a lot) porn, you WILL have to be fairly adventurous in bed, you WILL have to know and be willing to do everything a professional would do. EVERYTHING. And frankly, if you're that kinky, I doubt you'd be promoting sex classes under a religious banner, with tudung and all....

My guess is, this it'll all just end up like this scene.

We'd Rock Each Other

2011-04-24T16:54:00.001+08:00

You stir in me, a desire so great I cannot resist.

I want you, even if I don't know you. I want you, even if I can't have you.

Even for just one night, you could be my lover, and I could be your man. I'd hold you tenderly, and you'd rest gently by me. I'd whisper sweet words to you, you'd give me seductive looks. I'd want you so badlly, you'd tease me so naughtily. I'd make love to you passionately, you'd pleasure me so excitedly.

Even for just one night, ... in a way no other man would ever do for you, in a way no other woman would do for me....... don't you feel it? We'd rock each others world babe

Tell me something my dear.. how long do you think we can stay away from each other?

When You Looked My Way

2011-04-18T16:44:00.000+08:00

You were looking my way.

I know. Because I was looking your way too.

You wore a tight pink tank top and denim miniskirt. Your bra strap was visible Your cleavage teased at me. The outline of your blouse hinted at the wondrous set of breast it kept hidden. Your skin - smooth and white, your legs - slim and sexy.

But it wasn’t that. It was your face.

I knew that face.

And from the way you were stealing glances at me, I think you knew me too.

But from where? From when? I couldn’t place it. Perhaps you were thinking the same things too.

Maybe we don’t know each other.

Maybe we really are strangers.

I’m still trying to figure it out.

Whatever it is, I had my eye on you. And you had your eye on me.

And we both knew, there was something there.

So next time, if fate brings us face to face again… lets say hello okay my dear.

We might just rock each others world.

A Complement.. Or Not..

2011-04-18T13:03:00.000+08:00

“I don’t usually like Chinese guys. He’s one of the really rare ones which I’d seriously go after. If I weren’t already with Ricardo, I’d so go for him already.”

“He’s quite handsome, has a good set of teeth, tall, good build, broad chest, and just really really nice. I could just eat him up!”

And while saying all these words, the person speaking hand their hands all wrapped around me, body hugging closely to mine.

The rest look on at me. They said that coming from this person, it’s a huge complement… because this person rarely ever gives such open praises to people.

I wasn’t sure where to look or how to reach.

On one hand, I was seriously flattered. I never consider myself eligible or desirable in any way. I’ve always been Mr. Nice guy… Not Mr. Nice Ass guy. To hear this I could actually be sexy (or at least desirable la…) to the a nice boost for my self esteem.

But I had two issues.

This was also the same person who just told me barely ten minutes ago that they thought Bruno Mars was so handsome. When the same person tells me that I’m handsome….. I was thinking… “you mean.. handsome like Bruno Mars? Ermm……okaaay…. ”…. No offense to Mr. Mars.

The second issue was this. This person giving me this complement… was in fact… a DUDE. Yes, he’s man… a gay one at that. And he was saying all of this in front of his gay partner… who nodded to me in total agreement.

So ya… totally mixed emotions.

I finally find confirmation that I do have some sort of sexual appeal after all..but then I discover that the I’m attracting horny gay men instead of beautiful young girls.

Life...........always full of surprises.

Threesome

2011-04-10T17:28:00.000+08:00

He just sat there and watched

… as his girlfriend sucked greedily on my cock, making lusty moans as she held my cock in her tiny hands and stuffed it into her mouth. I turned her around and felt her pussy. Dripping wet. Now I knew for sure that she was enjoying every minute of it.

Earlier she had showed some hints of her intent by coming real close and brushing her body against mine.

I spanked her ass gently and she responded. She liked it I know. I mounted her from the back and pumped long, firm strokes, holding her hips and slamming it against my manhood.

And all this while I was watching the dude.. just sitting there, contented to see his woman go wild with ecstasy with my cock.

"So this is how a threesome feels like..." I must admit it felt so fucking good.. yet so fucking surreal at the same time.

Her moans got louder and louder. My cock was getting harder and harder. I knew I just had to unload my cum inside of this hot minx. I banged her harder and harder, allowing my moans to come out in tandem with her. She knew I was cumming… her hands clawing at the bedsheets…

I let it all loose… banging her pussy with all my might… watching her beautiful ass going back and forth..

And all this while.. he just sat there and watched.

I withdrew and she turned around with a smile on her face. Her hands were still rubbing at my thighs… she still wanted more.

She asked me to sit down and sat on my cowgirl style. I was already limped.. but she started rubbing her pussy against my cock anyway. She wanted more. It was then I realized “Fuck, this is one horny bitch.”

He bended over and whispered into her ear.. but it was loud enough for me to hear.

“Did you enjoy it?” he asked.

And like a giddy schoolgirl being asked to go for prom for the first time, she nodded her head eagerly.

I shook his hand and gave her a hug and said goodnight as I showed them the door….. walking behind him, she couldn’t resist turning back and giving me a quick glance and smile. I smiled back. 20 minutes later, I get a message from the man.

“We really enjoyed it.. ESPECIALLY her.. Looking forward to meeting you again.”

The man wanted me to fuck his girlfriend again. I must admit – I certainly had no self esteem issues falling asleep that night.

I woke up in the morning with a smile on my face. Like one having just awaken from a night of sweet dreams. Or was it?

Good Porn, Bad Porn

2011-01-26T17:35:00.000+08:00

So we all know the quality of porn is generally crappy. Cheesy lines, cheap props, stupid storylines, poor acting and synthetic boobs add together, what you have today is porn that's quite far of from how sex actually feels like.

But I think there is some sort of resurgence of late. Here and there, you do see some clips with a bit of quality and artistic flare. Videography in some seems to be better, even the actors are attempt to actually act a bit and the sex does seem a bit more real. I think people are starting to make porn that looks a bit more like realistic. Hopefully we wont see anymore 'bang the pizza guy' or 'nail the horny secretary' kind of plots anymore.

Here's on that I find to be particularly natural, as in it kinda catches the intimacy of how it actually feels to be making love with someone:

Warning: NSFW
http://www.youjizz.com/videos/tiffany-thompson--teenagers-in-love-2191503.html

There's also been a rise in people who want to film porn in a more tasteful and way. I couldn't find any lin,k so try googling or searching your own favourite porn site with the following phrases

"Fellucia Blow"
"The Art of Blowjob"
"Camille Crimson"

They don't have the prettiest faces, nor the biggest boobs, but I find the stuff they do are more sensual, and erotic... there's a sense of connection and realness....and frankly, it turns me on more than the rest of the rubbish online.

But that's just me. Who knows, some of you may actually like those 'bang the pizza guy' clips...

Gary Goes to Jail

2011-01-26T16:40:00.000+08:00

I know this is a bit late, but I guess you've heard by now that Gary Ng's going to jail...

Apparently, when not busy humping the 500 or so women on camera, Gary was preoccupied with forgery, housebreaking, theft, criminal breach of trust and unlawfully having someone else's identity card.

He says he did it only because his job as a real estate agent couldn't sustain him. Poor guy.... if I was humping that many prostitutes a week, I'd be broke too.

Just as well, he should have been arrested a long time ago anyway.... for all the crappy amateur porn of himself he made all of us watch.

Not that I'm happy the dude got thrown into jail, but at least I know for the next 50 months there will be no more Gary Ng sex videos..... unless he starts humping the other inmates too..

Cheers!

Boob Call..

2011-01-24T19:05:00.000+08:00

There's a colleague of mine....

She likes wearing sexy cloths. Short skirts, tight tank tops, killer heels.... and she shows a bit of cleavage here and there. She's one of those, smiling, laughing but fiesty sort of women. She talks about sex to me once in a while. I can never figure out what that implies. And there's one other thing she does; She usually hangs her phone around her neck with a lanyard.... and some days when she's wearing her tank top, she stuffs it in between her breast. We joked about it before, about how her breast would vibrate when the phone rights....and the thing is... it kinda turns me on.

I have my share of office affairs fantasy. Always wondered how it would feel like getting it on with someone from office... Maybe I watched too may OL (Office Lady) porn scenes for my own good. But the thought of sneaky quickies in the office toilet or having a romp in the board room after office hours have always turned me on.

Call me a perverted and horny, but I constantly fanstasize about having sex with my office clerk.... and now, with this other lady whom I work closely with. Nevermind that she's older than me, nevermind that she's even married.... everytime she has her phone stuffed in between her boobs...I feel like giving her line a call and watch her dig at her cleavage.... and when she sees its me calling, I'll just give her a wink.

Who knows.... maybe she'll wink back.

Best Job in the World

2011-01-07T13:22:00.000+08:00

So I was just doing my daily browsing when something caught my eye...

The title was compelling enough.... but after I read the whole article, my both was ajar, and i was speechless...Here it is:

Official Prostitute Tester

"What the FUCK is this?" I thought...

Fuckability Quality Control????!!! So he gets to fuck and rate all these aspiring VIP escort girls as a job? No shit! And think about it.. this girls aren't some street walkers.. they are probably hot, intelligent, sexy kind that rich men pay top dollar for... And to get a good rating, they have to please him first? Have I said it yet? NO SHIT!

This is perhaps every mans fanstasy job... escort fucker and reviewer.. a.k.a Professional Fucker. I can tell you that most (if not every man) will be green with envy after reading it. Kind reminds me of another post I made time back about this guy who had a threesome with 2 international beauty queens.

If you're a woman and you're rolling your eyes.... well, I'm sorry k.. but men are still men. And regardless of what we have ~~lied~~ told you in the past, we all want bed as many women as we can. It's im-built into our brain and our physiology. Kinda like how you women walk into a shoe shop and just want to buy as many shoes as you fancy. You think to yourself "Gosh, I so need to have this! It " You know you don't really need another one. It defied logic and reason, but in your heart - damn it, i want it anyway... It's like that for us too okay......except for us, it's a vagina.

Cheers

P/S: On any off chance there's any Madame a.k.a Mummy a.k.a brothel owner in this part of the world is looking for a Sex Reviewer, I hereby offer my services as professional fucker and reviewer! Enthusiasm guaranteed, quality of review assured. :-P

PP/S : Reviews strictly on FEMALE candidates only. :-PP

Have a good weekend everyone....

Horny New Year

2011-01-03T11:53:00.002+08:00

Happy New Year everyone...

So, everyone's back to life as usual after the last 2 weeks of holidays, festivities and late night drinking sessions. I thought I'd be getting the Monday blues again, but actually...

I've been hornier than usual of late. I mean... it's monday morning on a work day, and all I think of doing right now is grabbing a woman by the ass and doing it doggy style, slamming away, watching as her butt cheeks land softly on my thighs. I have a minor hard on underneath my table, our young clerk is looking good her new work cloths, and I have a mind to lock myself in the toilet to wish Mr. Right Hand a happy new year too...

I think it's a combination of 2 things.

First is the regular exercise. I kinda stopped working out towards the end of the year.. due to a lot of personal things going on. I resumed the regiment a couple of weeks ago, to try to get back on track... and I think the increased fitness levels increased my libido by no small measure.

Second is supplements. I started taking supplements again, after many years of avoiding it and it it kinda helped in a very broad sense. Worse (or better) when a friend gave me another specific type of supplement that was supposed to do wonders to your brain, heart and muscles. I actually had only 4 hours of sleep the day before but managed to stay awake for 21 hours straight before crashing in bed at 6am... my body was tired, but my mind could STILL go on. And when I woke up the next morning, I was already feeling kinda horny. It's amazing.

I've been feeling more alert throughout the day, bowel movement seems to have improved, I'm so much more focused, and like I said, general levels of horniness seems to have increased.

I'm still trying to decide if this is a good or bad thing. I'll let you know later. For now, I got to go say hello to Mr. Right Hand.

hey, I'm just being honest!

Merry Christmas

2010-12-26T12:51:00.000+08:00

Just a quick (belated) Merry Christmas to all of you out there. I hope you've been nice this year. If you havent..... well....... being naughty ain't too bad either!

This year, I was just listening to the song and was pretty convinced that the little boy who sang "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause" saw more than just that! More action perhaps? ;-) Well, I hope Santa isn't the only one to be getting some this Christmas!

Cheers... and have a blasted new year ahead!

The Myth of the Fuck Buddy II

2010-12-09T18:17:00.002+08:00

A continuation of this post on fuck buddies.

“Hi, I’m 25 male. Looking for fuck buddy. Any girl out there wana fuck?”

I’ve been browsing and surfing assorted local blogs and forums lately. Sadly, it looks like that’s sharp as they get these days…the (young) men I mean.That's my conclusion after reading an actual post above.

On one hand, I’m positively embarrassed. No tact, no finesse, no sense of how to properly present yourself as someone more than just a walking hard-on. On the other hand, what’s not to like? Short and straight to the point -doesn’t waste your time, doesn’t make any pretences. Ten over ten for efficiency, but zero points for effectiveness.

And people that post these invitations for fuck buddies all of 3 things in common; they’re all men; they’re all young; and they all half expect some girl to just suddenly reply “Yes, I’d like to have a fuck buddy.” No one ever does of course, simply because that’s not how you’re supposed to go about doing such things.

But I’m a guy too, and I do empathise with my fellow dudes over their long standing desire to have a fun fuck with none of the usual commitments involved. So, in my attempt to help my fellow man, here’s my own self styled guide to getting a fuck buddy.

#1 Stop the Desperate Posts

Nothing turns women off more than being desperate. For men, a desperate woman might be a sign of easy sex. But it doesn’t work the other ways guys. If you come across as so desperate for sex, you come across as UNWANTED. And nobody wants what everyone else doesn’t want either. Geddit? So quit the desperate talk and try being a bit more suave.

#2 Engage And Connect

Guys, let me just save you a lot of time and say that the chances of you finding yourself a fuck buddy online is very very slim. You need to go out, engage and connect with people. Meet people, chat, go for drinks, dance, whatever. People are attracted to things they can see, touch and feel. Not some poorly written grammar or ugly shot of a cock on the computer screen. No woman in her sane mind would be your fuck buddy unless she’s gotten a good idea of what you’re all about in person. So stop photoshop-ing the picture of your cock and start working on your people skills!

#3 Be Good Company

If you’re just looking for a quick fuck, no questions asked, you’re better off looking for a prostitute. They come when you call, leave when you’re done, and don’t ask you for anything else (other than money). You get your fuck, she gets her money, we all go home happy. But if it’s a fuck buddy you want, you need to be reasonably good company. What makes for good company is subjective and varies from person to person but if you aren’t even good company out of bed, there’s little to suggest you’ll be any different in bed. Geddit? And NO, having a big cock will not be enough to compensate for your lack of personality.

#4 Be A Good Fuck

The basis of a fuck buddy is MUTUAL pleasure. So if you DO qualify to the next stage, the second thing you have be is a DAMN GOOD FUCK IN BED. Men being men, we all think we’re all pretty damn good already. Heck, I think I’m a pretty good fuck in bed too if only I’m given the chance to prove it. But alas, we’re not….. (or at last YOU’re not). I’m not here to teach you how to be a good fuck, but at minimum:

- Don’t be lazy with the giving. You want your blowjob, give her what she wants to.
- Intercourse should be minimum 10 minutes. Ideally 20 minutes.
- Sexual positions should vary 2~3 types. Don’t just hump like a drunkard camel.
- Vary your stroke, intensity, speed, angle etc. Variety is the spice of life remember.
- Lots of kissing, lots of caressing, lots of holding, lots of eye contact.

Sex is all about connection & sensation. Doesn’t matter if you call it love making or fucking… unless you’re making love to a mannequin - make a connection.

#5 Be The Fuck, Be the Buddy too

I actually don’t like the term Fuck Buddy much. A bit too wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am style. I prefer the term ‘friends with benefits’. Maybe I’m just old fashioned, but I do think that the ‘friends’ part should come before the ‘benefits’. As opposed having the ‘fuck’ before the ‘buddy’. Regardless of what you call him/her, she’s still a person. And that means they shouldn’t be treated purely like a booty call (unless you both actually prefer that). A normal meal or other non sex related activities are harmless but go a long way. In case you don’t already know, women don’t like to be taken for granted. As much as possible, be the fuck but also the buddy.

#6 Don’t fall in Love

Whatever you do, DON’T.l…because if you do, that’s the end of it. What you will have is no longer ‘friends with benefits’ but ‘relationship without the perks’. You will end up loving someone, but not being able to call them your own. Being physically attracted, genuinely caring and being in love are three very different things. The problem with sex is that it messes it all up in this pot of lust, love and infatuation.. You may think that as a guy, you clearly differentiate love from sex – which is true…. But when you’re laying there in each others arms post coital bliss smiling and snuggling, looking into her beautiful eyes and her sweet sweet smile, it’s only too easy to fall in love… or at least think you have. It’s playing with fire.. and play long enough, someone’s bound to get burnt. To say it gets complicated is an understatement. So be warned and make sure you know what you’re getting yourself into.

Having said all this, I’d just like to put a disclaimer – I have no idea if any of these will work for you in finding a fuck buddy. Very frankly, it’s a case of too many men wanting it and too little women considering it… and I can’t exactly say I’ve had much experience with fuck buddies either. You really are better of trying to get a proper girlfriend, treat her nice and enjoy the sex there. I say this as a guy horny enough to still dream of having friends with benefits, but also as a man realistic enough to know that some things will always remain a fantasy and nothing more.

… and yes, I’m still alive and kicking and wonder if anyone still follows this blog.

Cheers!

P/S: Hi, I’m 25 male. Looking for fuck buddy. Any girl out there wana fuck? ;-P

Its About Passion

2010-09-22T18:41:00.002+08:00

Free MP3 Downloads at MP3-Codes.com

When I first decided to start this blog, I placed this song permanently on my page, so that everyone who arrived here would hear it. It fit perfectly because this was the emotion I was basically trying to convey at the time.

It's a song about an affair between a man and a married woman; about forbidden passions; about lust; about PASSION..... even when you know its wrong.

That was why I put it there.

It wasn't just about sex.

It was about PASSION.

Sometimes I wonder if anyone gets thats...

Porn Blog This Ain't

2010-09-22T18:32:00.003+08:00

If you’re wondering why I haven’t posted anything here of late, it’s really because of this; I’m waiting to see if this blog will die a natural death if I leave it alone long enough. I was kind expecting that with the lack of any updates that people will lose interest. But apparently it’s not for some reason. And I think that reason is ‘sex’ rather than my actual writing skills. The world is perpetually craving for sex.

I can write the stupidest, shallowest most meaningless post here, slap a picture of a naked woman and tag the word ‘sex’ and ‘fuck’ all over it and it will very surely get more pageviews than if I sat down and spent 2 hours writing out something really honest truth about something. Most people are more interested in quick fucks rather than long lasting relationships. And that’s how I see this blog sometimes – that most people surfing all this ‘sex blogs’ are really just looking for some sort of thrill… similar to the ones you get in a quick fuck.

I know this for a fact because I actually have a separate blog which I do my actual blogging and then there’s this one – some weird manifestation of my alter ego. It’s this one, and not the other that gathers all the attention. And that’s natural, because no one really wants to listen to another person rant on and on about their life and read paragraphs and paragraphs of emo shit. But everyone wants to see cleavage, everyone wants pussy, everyone a piece of ass. We all want to see and read about who and how other people are fucking in bed. And I see that’s what a lot of the more popular sex blogs offer… which to me… just changes the whole thing from ‘sex blog’ to ‘porn blog’. I love porn… but too much of it just melts your brain and make you retarded.

Sex is a powerful motivator, but it’s an oversexed world out there. Every conceivable desire is deliberately tied back to sex; gadgets, beer, car, cloths, drinks etc; virtually all of them have a seductive woman in its advertisement. We all want sex, and when you link sex to that thing.. by extension, you will want that too.

Writing with sex as a theme isn’t that hard. You just talk ready crudely; say ‘fuck’ a lot and write everything from the perspective or a horny bastard, put in a few witty lines, lots of naked photos, and link to every Tom, Dick and Harry also doing the same thing.

But it’s hard for me, because after a while, you start feeling incredibly shallow… and HOLLOW. When you isolate sex out of the context it’s meant to be in, namely proper relationships, you’re essentially removing a shell from its body. Outwardly, it still looks yummy and exciting but it’s only a matter of time before the whole thing crumbles apart from the inside. Horniness is a fleeting sensation. It can’t stand on its own for very long. And so I’ve refrain from any sort of post at all. I could reveal more and write about my actual sex experiences, which woman, where, how etc. But just so you know, I’m very old fashioned. A gentleman shouldn’t kiss and tell. Even if it’s all kept anonymous, I owe it to them to treat the matter with respect and discretion. If I do write something, it should be done tastefully and in proper light; not ‘hey-look-I-banged-one-more’ (which would actually be more popular)

I was just reading about a certain ~~sex~~ porn blogger who’s actually organizing a massive gang bang between 2 women and probably half the male population in Singapore. On the surface, that does sound like some pretty crazy, wacked up shit…. considering they are opening it to all their regular readers. But I just can’t help but wonder; what is this, community service? For the ladies, It’s your body, your dignity. If you want to make it free access to one and all….well……. whatever tickles your fancy OK…. For the men, would you really want to dip your stick into somewhere every other dude’s sticking theirs? Where’s the thrill and enjoyment in that? Where’s the passion?

Sex is about passion more than anything else. It’s not just dick and pussy all rubbing together.

Anyway, I’m not here to impose my moral values on anyone. Who am I to tell you how to live your life.

For all the pageview I see this blog get, I just can’t help but wonder… is anyone even getting the things I’ve written? Or are you all just searching for the page with the juicy story and the naked pictures? Because there really is none.

Right Out of My Mouth

2010-08-04T16:30:00.000+08:00

http://meagainstthem.com/2010/08/03/4726/

This whole blog.. summarized in 5 words.

The Grandma that Blows

2010-08-04T01:06:00.001+08:00

Did you read about the 108 year old grandma that gives killer blowjobs?

It didn't say that exactly I know.. but old granny here is basically talking about how at 108 years of age, she has a 'secret weapon' in the form of her 'sensual massage' that keeps her 38 year old husband loyal and coming back for more.. He along with her other previous 22 husbands.. all of whom are DEAD....

Now I don't know about you.. but if I were this dude, and the TWENTY TWO guys before me are now all dead after marrying her... I'd be thinking twice man.. I don't care how sensual a 'massage' you give. It's either she has murdered all 22 of them and ate their dicks (which would explain her unusual zest for sex at such age).. or the sight of old grandma with no teeth but plenty of warts sucking on their cocks with all the lust of a teenager was just too disturbing to watch... and they all died of a heart attack...

Either way... keep it up Granny! Try not to break a hip!

Cheers..

A Fucker

2010-07-29T22:46:00.001+08:00

Someone called me an ass kisser and a fucker today.

But I can’t say I didn’t get my own.

I called him a petty, calculative, immature, malicious, scheming, selfish, arrogant, high nosed, ignorant, idiotic, self-pitying, stupid, autistic, mother fucking retard.

Life’s not so bad when you’re more eloquent than your enemies. Muahahaha..

But to his credit, he did get right at least one thing right.

I AM a fucker.

A better one than him too...

Just ask his wife.

Just kidding...

I'd never fuck a cow like that.

Corporate Strategy on Abstinence

2010-07-29T15:16:00.001+08:00

I got to give it to the our local government sometimes. They really know how to entertain you.

Today's headline news was No Sex Please, We Are Students

In fact, this was actually brought up in Parliament. The government wants to go on a campaign to tell students not to have sex until their married.

It cited that there were 21 cases of pregnancies out of wedlock last year (assuming in university). I wonder what kind of retarded source they're getting their data from. I also suspect that the Ministry of Education has it's offices based on Pluto......

Because wake up Auntie.... almost everyone... E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E ... is screwing around these days. Be them Muslims, Christians, Buddhist or terrorist. If the former Health Minister was screwing around, do you really think healthy, hot blooded, horny, hormone induced young students experiencing total freedom away from home for the very first time are going to abstain?

LOL.......

I think not. If you want to teach them that they should wait until they get, married.... They will be thinking "Fuck, who knows when THAT will be.. I can't wait that long..." and bang... someone's getting lucky tonight. I don't know about other people, but by the time I was 16, I already knew there was no way I was to 'wait till the right one' before I started engaging in sex.

If you REALLY want to do something constructive.... just prepare a simple slide show presentation of STDs and AIDS with the most gory and disturbing pictures you can find of peoples deformed genitalia... LIKE THIS:

FUCK AROUND, AND THIS COULD BE YOU.....

Then for dramatic effect, take 2 dozen condoms and fling it in the air and say

"Fuck around and use one of these if you think you're so smart....But did you know that even condom companies dare not 100% guarantee the effectiveness of their product?"

"The good news is, if you do ever get HIV / AIDS you can screw around as much as you want from then on... Cuz you're as good as a goner anyway. Most STDs can be controlled, but never cured."

Perhaps one on one, proper reasoning and debate would convince a person to abstain for higher purposes. But I tell you my friend, if you want an effective abstinence programme to work in this country... you need to strike more than just the fear of God in peoples hearts.. You need to include Syphilis, Gonorrhea, Scabs, Herpes and good old HIV.....

Didn't they teach you that in school?

Cheers.

P/S: Someone should seriously hire me as a Sex Education Consultant... :-P

Coffee With Me

2010-07-25T00:42:00.000+08:00

Ever thought of a cup of coffee?
We can sit at a corner, just you and me.
You can tell me where you’re from.
And I can tell you where I’ve been.
We’ll talk about love and life.
And you can tell me why you need 6 different shoes.
I’ll listen to you ask you speak about your life.
And you’ll wonder why talking to me seems so easy.
We’ll chat and laugh for hours till we become silent
And I’ll ask if you find the silence awkward.
You’ll say there’s something nice about me.
I’ll shake my head and tell you the truth - I’m actually nervous
I act weirdly when I have caffeine or am around pretty women.
You’ll say I ordered decaf and I’ll say – there you go.
You’ll look at the time and say we really should go.
You’ll try to pay but I’ll insist that I do.
I’ll tell you a lie – you can pay the next time.
You’ll say OK, and I’ll secretly leap for joy.
Because it means you’d want to see me again.
I’ll walk with you all the way to your car.
You’ll say you had a really nice time.
And I’ll say the pleasure really was all mine.
You’ll drive off and I’ll wave goodbye.
I’ll skip to a beat as you turn out of sight.
I’ll slowly recall all the things we said.
Having coffee really does things to you head.

Lips of An Angel

2010-07-24T23:39:00.001+08:00

Honey why you callin me so late

It's kinda hard to talk right now

Honey why you cryin? Is everything ok?

I gotta whisper cause I can't be too loud

Well, my girls in the next room

Sometimes I wish she was you

I guess we never really moved on

It's really good to hear your voice

Sayin my name, It sounds so sweet

Comin from the lips of an angel

Hearin those words It makes me weak

And I never want to say goodbye

But girl you make it hard to be faithful

With the lips of an angel

It's funny that you're callin me tonight

And yes I dreamt of you too

Does he know your talkin' to me?

Will it start a fight?

No, I don't think she has a clue

Well, my girls in the next room

Sometimes I wish she was you

I guess we never really moved on

It's really good to hear your voice

Sayin my name, It sounds so sweet

Comin from the lips of an angel

Hearin those words It makes me weak

And I never want to say goodbye

But girl you make it hard to be faithful

With the lips of an angel

Lips of an Angel - Hinder

of Gay Men

2010-07-19T16:15:00.002+08:00

I’ve always been somewhat fascinated and curious about gay men.

No, not curious in THAT sense… but in a more intellectual way.

Like for instance, how to they work out who’s the ‘man’ in the relationship, or is that interchangeable? In bed, who’s the ‘fucker’ and who’s the ‘fuckee’? (Hahaha.. fucker-fuckee, love that) or is that interchangeable too? Do they really feel NOTHING when seeing a naked woman? If they received a blowjob from a woman, would it arouse them? Do they see themselves more as women trapped in a man’s body, or just men true blue men who just like dicks more than vagina? And if you were limber enough to do it, would you suck on your own cock? If you sucked your own cock, is that being gay, or is that masturbating?

Pop culture likes to tell you that gay men are all flamboyant, well dressed, artsy, well groomed and intelligent.

From experience, I’ll have say – that is so fucking true.

I only have 2 gay friends…. but they are both all of the above. They have an eye for all things beautiful. they have a certain flair and they truly dare to be different even if it means not being popular (or accepted). I can really picture them saying the words “You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same”

I will tell you very honestly that most (if not all) straight men do feel uncomfortable when dealing with gay men. Ya, we try to act cool about it, we try to go out of our way to show it’s no big deal….. but deep down inside, we’re all a bit uncomfortable. Not when we’re dealing with you, not when we’re hanging out with you, and not even when we’re giving you a big bear hug before going home. But when the two of you are together.

I was just listening to my gay friend recollecting excitedly about the little birthday surprise his partner threw him. He made this really sweet and thoughtful treasure hunt around the house for him to find his present. One clue led to another, one puzzled led to another before he finally found his present tucked underneath his bed. It was a really really sweet and romantic gesture… which even I had to admire.

As the two of them started talking more and more excitedly, you kinda knew this was quite an intimate little moment they were sharing. I watched the two of them and started asking myself “Are they gonna kiss each other? Is he going to brush his cheek? Is he going to hug him? Is he going to snuggle and say how sweet he was? Is this going to be one of those couple's intimate moments? My GOSH… DON’T DO IT.. DON’T DO IT…..”

Thankfully, they didn’t. I’d totally freak out if they did.

I don’t have a problem accepting people for who they are. If you like having other men stick their dicks up your ass that’s up to you. I’d still hang out with you. But I do have a problem with accepting a homosexual relationship for what it is. More so than I’d have of say people being polygamous or partner swapping or any of those things. Mainly because homosexuality among men does feel like something against the natural order of nature. I mean, check out your equipment dude. It’s built for something else. Hammers are used on nails. Screwdrivers are used on screws.. You don’t take two hammers and start banging and rubbing them against each other. That’s not what it’s designed to do…. And frankly, it just confuses the rest of the hammers… Get my drift? And what’s wrong with women anyway? They look good, they smell good, they have soft skin, they are gentle….. and they even have the right equipment!

But there usually 2 reasons why people refrain from speaking out against homosexual relationships.

The first one is that people don’t want to be intolerant. We live in an age of plurality and society demands that we are accept people of all races, colours, nationalities, religions and even sexual preferences. We argue with ourselves that if we want others to accept us for who we are, we should not and cannot in turn try to judge other people. Treat others how you would like to be treated – it’s a common rule in civilized society. We also live in a very secular society where there is no such thing as moral absolutes. The common argument is that as long as it’s not breaking the law, and it’s not hurting anybody it’s OK. To try to stand up and say that there are very defined rights and wrongs in issues of morality will instantly earn you the label of ‘fundamentalist’ or ‘intolerant’.

Secondly, and more significantly, gay / lesbian friends are often genuinely nice people. More often than not, they are our friends and…… good ones at that. My best friend in high school was gay. And when someone is close to you, it’s very hard to try and impose your prejudices on them. Our natural instinct is to accept them rather than alienate them. We don’t want our friends to feel like they aren’t allowed to be who they are if they want to continue being our friends. We never put ultimatums to our friendships. It’s bad enough that society as a whole rejects them.. what kind of friend can we claim to be if even we who know them refuse to accept them?

But as much as I try to, the sight of two grown men holding hands, hugging and kissing will always make me shift uneasily. Pull them apart and I can accept them individually, but put them together.. it’s always a different story. I do realize that makes me an ‘intolerant’ person.. but that’s because deep down inside, I do believe that is something called moral absolutes. There are things in life we inherently know are wrong.. like murder, cannibalism, rape and in this case… homosexuality. Unless you’re talking about two hot lesbians making out in bed – because that’s a different story!

We men…… such creatures of double standard. ;-)

Cheers…

Just A Click Away

2010-07-15T17:03:00.001+08:00

I was talking to a friend a few nights ago.

She just got herself a new boyfriend.

"Where did you meet him?"

"On the internet....."

"As in Facebook?"

"No..... as in online dating agency."

"You serious? Doesn't that seem kind of........desperate?"

"Maybe it does seem that way over here. But in Australia, it's pretty common. And the people who sign up are pretty genuine and sincere. They aren't dodgy like the ones here."

"OK. So what does he look like?"

She shows me a picture of him. My eyes widen as I took good look at him. Caucasian. Well built. Six Pack. Tone muscles.

"You sure you didn't steal this picture off Men's Health Magazine or something?"

I am greeted with a smack.

"He's a nice guy. And he meets a lot of my requirements. And so far, so good." she said with a grin that seemed to hint that there was more to that statement.

They guy was certainly a hunk. It kinda annoyed me why all these Caucasian men seemed to be stealing away all our Asian women. Not that I mind too much, it's just that it's more of a one way street. Caucasian women seldom ever get attracted to Asian men.

I looked at her very intently. I wanted to ask what was really on my mind but another friend was there, so I held my tongue. She had just broken up at the beginning of the year. I suspected that her main 'requirements' was a steady source of sex. We've talked openly about it before, and I know sex was a big deal to her.. or rather, NO SEX was a big deal to her. Which I totally understand.... being a guy and all.

I mean, here she was this woman, who knew EXACTLY what she wanted. She wanted a man, and a hunky one at that, one that would satisfy her sexual needs NOW. And all she had to do was click... click... and click.....

And I was thinking

Why the hell can't I find such a thing?

Mark my words... ANY woman can easily pick a man up for sex.. be it at the bar, in the club or on the interenet just by snapping her fingers (or clicking her mouse in this case).. But not for men. It all comes back to the economics of supply and demand. There is an oversupply of horny men looking for sex. We're not a dime a dozen a hundred times over. Even if you are smart, intelligent and witty *ahem* it's virtually impossible for you to be differentiated in the sea horny men. And all you really have to differentiate yourself from the rest, is the size of your penis.... Doesn't help that I'm Chinese.

F.M.L....

The Curious Case of Sex Blogs

2010-07-14T20:45:00.001+08:00

Sex blogging is an interesting phenomenon.

I remember some time back that a journalist actually stumbled upon my blog and sent me an email asking if I was interested to do an interview with him about this whole sex blogging thing that seems to be rampant among blogs. I replied saying that I didn’t mind but he was probably better of interviewing other more qualified (and interesting) sex bloggers who were not only more explicit, but were actually written by women. I don’t think my blog really qualifies as a sex blog. I told him “……..it's not meant to be a 'sex blog' per se, just a blog with stuff with sex in it, among other things.” Anyway, the interview never happened because the project got delayed indefinitely.

If you’ve done your bit of sex blog browsing, you’ll know that although the numbers are not little, there aren’t that many souls out there doing it. Male blogs are rare… Male blogs that actually write decent stuff rather than just mindless fuck episodes are ever rarer.

The most popular ones often have followers and readers going to the hundreds (possibly thousands). The formula for success of these ‘most popular’ blogs seems to be about the same. You need only 3 things.

#1 You need to be a woman.
In shape with a genuine vagina, boobs, Ass… Enough.

#2 Nudity
Take explicit photos / videos of yourself. Never mind if your face is cut away or censored. No one’s really interested in your face. Show pictures of your boobs, ass and pussy in various angles and in various costumes, lingerie or cloths.

#3 Do crazy shit
Take pictures / just write about crazy stuff you do. Never mind whether it’s made up or not. Give blowjobs in stairways. Fly to Italy to become someone’s part time whore. Have sex for 12 hours straight with 50 men. Conduct random surveys about the dick sizes of your readers. The crazier it is, the more popular you will be.

Sex sells. Even if you write like shit, even if your grammar is poor.. it doesn’t matter. Just show a bit of boob, ass and pussy.. and all is forgiven. There will be hoards of male readers eager to cheer you on and praise you on every single post… telling you how hard you make them, telling how horny you get them, how much they want you. If you want to know how it feels to be lusted for by dozens of men… Just do these 3 things.

But don’t expect me to be one of them. I followed quite a few of them for a while. I found it utterly and completely fascinating. Then it started to get stale, and I stopped following the more graphical ones since they did nothing more than just post endless streams of nude photos of themselves. Then I stopped following those who just wrote nonstop about how they fuck this person and that person, in this place and in that place. Everything just sounded same same. There’s no drama, there’s no conflict, there’s no emotion, there’s no story….. just ‘I’m-horny-You’re-horny-we-fucked-end-of-story’.

I realized that fictitious sex stories were actually more interesting than real life ones for two reasons. No.1 People who wrote fiction have better writing skills and better imaginations. No.2 Real life isn’t nearly as dramatic as the ones in the story. No one really fucks their cousin. No one really gets it on with their bosses daughter. No one really swaps partners and become swingers. The truth is, the IDEA of illicit sex is so much more seductive that what it really is in real life.

And I guess that is a truth everyone who has ever tried writing a sex blog soon finds out. We only have so many stories to tell, we only have so many escapes to share, we only have so many secrets we keep. The writer is left with two choices. Spice up your blog before you lose your readers or stop. No one stops immediately.. and so they continue. They start writing more explicitly or revealing more and more skin. The level needs to up because readers get used to the previous highs and demand more. Then they realize they have nothing left to write unless they make shit up. Then they feel burned out and trapped because having gained so much popularity, they now have nothing left to say / share. And then they are FORCED to stop. And that is eventually how many sex blogs fizz out.

I was reading some other sex bloggers thoughts about wanting to stop. She had been sharing so many things about herself and enjoyed the adoration of so many men. But she was burned out.. because the blog seemed to bring her more harm than good. She felt attached to the blog, but also felt like it was actually working against her conscience. I wanted to say something, but decided against it. Some things need to be figured out on our own. Her attachment to her blog was because she enjoyed the attention. We all love attention. It re-affirms our existence. When we receive attention we feel acknowledged and accepted. THIS is why she still can’t bring herself to stop blogging. But on the other hand, her conscience was tugging at her. Her heart tells her that was she is doing is wrong. And when you don’t listen to your heart when it speaks… it gets torn apart.

For those who anonymously blog about their sex lives, or their opinions – why do they do it? Why do we sit down and deem it worth penning down these acts that are supposedly private and confidential? I think different people do it for different reasons. And you can usually tell from the way they write.

Some just want the attention. They are voyeurs who want to feel adored and desired. These kinds are the ones that usually show a lot of explicit photos or write very detailed accounts of their exploits. The focus is a lot on what they did.

Some just want to express. These are the people who are born writers who are just lonely at heart and need an ear. Perhaps they’ve done a lot of crazy shit in their lives and need an outlet to just express it. I suspect a lot of them write not for the sake of others, but for themselves. They write to try to crystallize, make sense, remember, come to terms or immortalize what they went through. They focus a lot on what how they feel.

And some.. just don’t know what they want. I won’t be surprised if there have been people who after reading so many sex blogs, thought it would be a good idea to start one themselves. These usually fizzle out the quickest. They either realize that writing doesn’t come naturally to them, they’re too uncomfortable sharing explicit photos of themselves… or don’t know what to write in the first place. These people usually end up trying to ask the readers what they think they should do. They don’t focus on anything.. and basically don’t know what the hell they are doing.

Me?

I’m just a guy who neither posts nude photos, writes about his sexual exploits nor does any crazy shit. I am the most ordinary, plain, normal guy you will ever find writing about sex. Is that interesting enough to be worthy of a read? Well, no actually. And I don’t try to pretend that it’s anything more than that.

You may ask if I want attention. I will say yes

You may ask if I seek to express. I will say yes.

You may ask if I am confused. I will say ‘you have no idea how much….’

Cheers everyone..

The Myth of The Fuck Buddy

2010-07-12T19:17:00.001+08:00

I'm starting to realize that gay men have this very uncanny ability to search each other out. For all the talk about gay men being the discreet minority... it seems awfully easy for a gay man to hook up with other gay men should he want to.

One gay friend of mine met his current partner online and he flew in all the way from the US just to be with him here in Malaysia. Of course we all know that the internet has been one of the most useful tools for gay men to look up discreetly... gay website, chatrooms etc. But that's not the only avenue. There are plenty of well known gay bars in KL, even in conservative Malaysia. Step into one of these, and you can be sure to find yourself a swamp of potential fuck buddies / partner.

Which gets me somewhat pissed off really.

Why is it that it's easier for discreet, minority, homosexual men to hook up than it is for majority, heterosexual men? You'd think that since there is such an overwhelming majority of horny, hetereosexual men and women around, it's be easier. But it's not. Not in this part of the world anyway.

Imagine a gay man. He's horny that night and is looking to hook up. He walks into a gay bar.There are dozens of other gay men around. The premise is simple; a bar where everyone has a common sexuality and a common interest in mind, sex. There's no two ways about it. They are all there because they like fucking other men. Since fucking each other is the common denominator here, steering a conversation from small talk to sex is unsurprising at all.

Now imagine a straight man. He's horny that night and is looking to hook up. He walks into a straight bar. There are dozens of women around. But things are far from simple. You don't know who's there with someone, who's alone, who's just having a night out with the girls, who's just there to dance and drink and who's looking to hook up. You are left to go with the flow and see what happens. You could go to a dodgier bar where there are women to pick up.. but they often turn out to just be prostitutes.

Maybe it's just me and my inexperience, but I think the idea of one night stands and fuck buddies have been over glamorized over in this part of the world. I suspect that most (if not all) women here are essentially one partner sexual beings. One night stands do happen maybe, but I'm starting to believe that the concept of a fuck buddy is in fact a myth over here. I don't think straight men and women hook up with each other to be fuck buddies as easily as gay men do. There are more avenues (virtual & physical) for gay men to hook up than there are for heterosexual men and women. - which is ironic considering it is gay men who are supposedly hiding in closets.

I know that the idea of a fuck buddy captures the imagination (and lust) of a lot of men and maybe a few women. The idea of wonton sexual pleasure with someone with no strings attached remains a very delicious proposition. Even for me, I find it hard to stop obsessing about it despite being very close to considering it as impossible. The lust overcomes and ever pushes you to deeper, darker places of secret pleasure in your mind.

For the most part, I'm suspect that the fuck buddy is a fantasy men have conjured up for himself. He believes that there are women out there who would see sex the way he does. But majority women aren't wired like that. Sex and emotional attachment come together. Sex is exclusive with the one she chooses. She'd go so far as to tease you with her blog, show you explicit photos of her body and write raunchy post about her sexual acts.... but she is still in essence, a one-man-one-woman person. She will not be your fuck buddy.

Either that, or I've been looking in all the wrong places.....

Muscle Men

2010-07-12T00:38:00.001+08:00

I was doing the somewhat gay-ish act of looking at some pictures of male body builders.

Not that I'm turning bi-sexual or anything. A friend of a friend was just posting his pics up on Facebook and I couldn't help but feel curious. From the comments, most women seem to be more intimidated rather than attracted to these sort of men with supersized muscles. I'm talking about Arnold Schwarzenegger He-Man kinda stuff.. Like this

But I was just curious.. how come more women don't find these sort of bodies appealing? I mean, isn't sexual and physical attraction a lot about a person's body? Men are attracted to women who have big boobs, round asses, long legs, small waist. Women on the other hand are attracted to men with strong arms, broad shoulders, six packs, tight ass and (hopefully) a generous dick to boot.

When you look at a body builder, isn't he supposed to epitomize what all men aspire to be, and what all women desire to have? If the underlying need of all women is to feel safe and secure in the arms of a man, doesn't it mean that these guys should be top of the list?

And yet they aren't. Or are they? I don't really know. I think I need to start surveying some women for a good answer.

I do know that universally, ALL women do find a guy like this sexy and would be willing to drop their panties at a minutes notice.

But looking around, I feel somewhat apologetic towards the women around here. I mean.. the lot of us normal guys (me included) are a far cry from how Brad Pitt or even Arnie looks like in terms of build. In fact, I do believe that there are more hunky, well build western men than there are Asian men. The only Asian men with any sort of six pack are usually the skinny ones that look malnurished more than anything else. The rest of us usually look more like this.

Give or take a few pounds of course....

;-)

Blowjob, Beer or Both

2010-07-01T17:42:00.000+08:00

Gopher Girlfriend

Damn it.

I need a Blowjob.

Otherwise,

someone just get me a Beer.

BUT

It has to be one of those special brews...

you know..

the kind that usually comes...............

.................with a blowjob.

FUCK.

Cow Gets Thrown Into Sea After Being Raped by Horny Young Man

2010-06-29T18:57:00.000+08:00

Did you read this?

Teenager Passes Out Marrying Cow He Had Sex With

"In his defence, Alit admitted to the act of bestiality but claimed the cow, which he believed was a young and beautiful woman, had wooed him with flattering compliments."

Boy did I get a kick out of reading that.

There are only 2 possibilities. Either he's a real hardcore BBW (Big Beautiful Women) fan with seriously in need of new glasses... or he's totally into bestiality a.k.a Animal Sex a.k.a Screwing your neighbourhood cow.

But I think the prospect of going to Bali for a holiday may seem somewhat less appealing for some after read this, especially for those who are big and fat, or were born a cow.

I pity the guy. I mean, I'd faint too if I were told I had to marry a cow (of the animal variant I mean... though the human one's pretty bad too). But then again, he should have thought twice before sticking his dick where no man has gone before. He said he thought she was a women seducing him with flattering comments. I guess "MoooOoo" is some sort of pick up line in Bali.

The part I didn't quite like was when they actually drowned the cow. That's not right. I think the cow had more right to faint and the guy deserved to be thrown in the sea.

The proper headline should be "Cow Gets Thrown Into Sea After Being Raped by Horny Young Man"

Cheers people

Audio Seduction

2010-06-28T00:52:00.000+08:00

I have a thing for female radio DJs.

I was just listening to the radio at night while driving around Singapore the other day, and I kid you not, I was completely turned on just by listening to the voice of the woman speaking. She had such deep, sultry voice.. but more than that, she spoke in a manner that was so cozy, warm and charming that you just wanna scream "Gosh, I love this woman!" For the record (if you really need to know), it was Yaz from Class 95 FM who does the night slot. Of course, she isn't the only one. There's also Nisha from Malaysia's Red FM which I listen to whenever I'm driving at night... equally charming voice and personality. Last but not least, there was Jojo Struys (who's actually Singaporean), who hosted for a brief period on Mix FM in Malaysia. Some people didn't like her and thought she wasn't quite suited for radio. To a certain extent, I had to agree, but there was something about her that charmed me to bits anyway, it was her laugh. She would just say stuff on the air and laugh to herself.... which would never cease to make me smile.

I love a woman who laughs. It's an attractive quality to me. I'd go as far as to say that it's more important for a woman (or person) to have a good sense of humour that it is for them to be good looking. I do admit that good looking people generally get all the attention, but I'd like to think that eventually, the charming ones get due recognition (for simply being more interest people!)

Anyway, I guess it's almost to be expected that all these womenfolk in radio have such attractive voices and charming personalities. They do make a living out of it after all. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only guy totally enchanted by their voices.

Here's the trouble... with voices like theirs, if you close your eyes and start to wonder how they look like, the image you inevitably picture is that of someone really attractive. It's natural for us to picture an attractive voice with an attractive face. Hunky men have deep voices. Sexy women have sultry voices. But reality is often a bit twisted. Just look at David Beckham. Good looking, great body, impeccable sense of style.... but with the voice of a school girl.

So when it comes to radio, just beware that they might be more suited for radio that we are think. Because in addition to the voice, they might also have a face fit for radio. :-P

Cheers

Lust in the highest order

2010-06-24T21:54:00.000+08:00

There’s this girl.

Every time I spot her passing by, I cannot take my eyes off her. I tell myself to look away..... but my eyes stay right on target. I’m consumed with lust at the sight of her. Slim legs… tight ass… and voluptuous breast that make my jaw drop.

I want her. I want to do things to her. I want to grab that ass and spank it silly. I want to kiss that lips and run my lips down her neckline to her breast. I want to plant my face in between her glorious bosom, tickle and suck those nipple and hear her pleasurable groans. I want to caress her back and bite her lips and grind my manhood against her body so she knows how hard she’s got me.

I want to lay her down and spread her wide and plunge my manhood deep…. deep into her pussy…… slowly….. surely…. forcefully…. kiss her…… passionately and deliberately….. I want to feel her body tingle as come into her… I want to see that look of total submission… that look that screams out… take me.. take me now… I’m all yours…

The best part is… she isn’t even trying to attract anyone. She’s just going about her workday, wearing that company uniform, tight jeans and sneakers. She can’t help it that even in those mundane work cloths I’m totally seduced by her. She can’t help it that her work cloths do nothing but accentuate her feminine curves. She can’t help it if I find her to be exactly the kind of real woman I find totally irresistible.

She’s caught me eyeing her a few times. I think she knows I’m looking at her. Maybe she knows I’m interested. Or maybe she thinks I’m a creep. Either way… if lady luck is on my side… I will get my chance to make a move.

Make no mistake about it ladies and gentlemen…. Its lust….. lust in the highest order

Panty Sniffing

2010-06-12T13:49:00.000+08:00

I just read about this serial panties sniffer living on the east coast. The police were raiding his house thinking he was paddling drugs. They didn't find any, but he was addicted to something alright.

Movies have often portrayed sexual perverts to be guys who jump into other peoples backyards and steal women's panties to sniff while jacking off or something. I always thought stuff like that belong in the movies and never in real life. But I guess even the movies had to get their ideas from somewhere.

This whole panties sniffing thing has always fascinated to me. Something about consuming the smell of a woman's vaginal secretions is suppose to turn them on. It's almost like their harmless little way of 'getting a piece' of the woman without actually having her. Like they get to experience not the sexual sight or touch of another woman, but at least the smell of it. The thing that intrigues me is that these urges can be so powerful to them that they actually go out and steal some panties to get high. I wonder how many people are there really out there with this sort of neurotic obsession.

But there is one thing I do know... it is the alluring power of a woman's scent. I know I've said this many times before, but a woman's scent really is a major turn on for many man.. well... at least THIS man right here. I find that women generally smell very good, and each woman has a distinct smell. To tell you the truth, it turns me on. It attracts me to them, it makes me want to draw close... like how a bee can't help itself from being attracted to honey. I think smell stimulates me more than usual compared to other guys. Most men are very visual creatures. They respond primarily to visual stimulation - cleavage, short skirt.. anything that reveals skin. Those things DO turn me on too... but when you add that with a whiff of a woman's natural scent... I find it practically irresistible.

But let me just make this clear OK... I don't steal and sniff womens panties.

Frequent Sex = Good Grades

2010-05-31T12:25:00.002+08:00

Did you read this?

http://www.dailychilli.com/news/4074-teachers-tip-have-sex-every-night

So this teacher goes on to win an award for excellence. He goes up stage,and effectively tells the whole nation "You want good grades? You want a healthy lifestyle? Get some!" Hahahaha......

Here's the little bastard's face:

"So remember kids, stay in school. Don't do drugs. Get laid regularly..."

So the secret to excellence is seems.. it to read a little every night (he didn't specify if it should be Playboy or Penthhouse) and get jiggy with your wife like there's no tomorrow, failing which, you will have dash all hopes of winning an award like said fellow. The guy's a freaking rabbit I tell you....

Damn. Here I was thinking we actually have to do stuff like exercise, and eat healthily... when in fact, this guy has just pretty much confirm what all men suspected all along : Getting laid is the key to success...

I just have one question: Does masturbating count?

Twincest

2010-05-24T21:38:00.000+08:00

I felt quite amused reading this article:

Gay porn's most shocking taboo - Pornography - Salon.com

Then, I watched some of the video's and then it just felt weird.

First of all they're twin brothers - damn hunky ones at that. Then, they both happen to be gay too. And to top it all off, they literally fuck each other. Seriously. Ass hole and all.... The horsing by the beach wouldn't feel so weird if they were just two regular (heterosexual) brothers... but I was half expecting them to kiss each other at any moment.

The media aptly names it twincest.

Does it get any more taboo than that?

And this isn't some gay porno shit where it's all role play for the camera. This is REAL. They really are brothers and lovers.

The article talks about how even among the gay community, this is really pushing the envelope and considered quite extreme. I kind of chuckled at that. It's OK to fuck another man if you like penises and hairy assholes instead of boobs and pussies... but not if the dude is your brother, because that would be an abomination? Really? I can't really see how the logic works. If the homosexual point of defense is that this is who they are hence they shouldn't be discriminated against, couldn't the incestuous couples say the same thing? If you allow one concession - that it's OK to be gay on the basis that it is their natural (albeit dysfunctional) disposition, why not will you not allow the other? Its the pot calling the kettle black.

I'm not defending incest... neither am I trying to pick on homosexuals. But for me, the day you declared that it's OK for two men to kiss and fuck each other, you kinda loose your right to outrage when you see a guy fuck his own brother... or sister for the matter.

But then again, by the same token, I don't really have a right to speak out against gay men kissing or hugging in public either.... especially when I (along with 99% of the heterosexual male population) find lesbian sex scene totally awesome.

Live and let live I guess.....

Cheers.......

Horny Goat Weed

2010-05-18T18:25:00.000+08:00

I've be ultra horny lately.

I've even been surfing porn in office.

I need to get laid.

If you're a woman, and you're horny too.. GET IN TOUCH WITH ME!

Ooh, somebody stop me!

P/S: The man who named Horny Goat Weed as such sure had a good sense of humour. I think we can all guess what was on his mind at the time.

Punctuation

2010-05-13T12:30:00.000+08:00

Read the above little strip

You understand why proper punctuation is literally so fucking important now?

Mind. Blowing. Sex.

2010-05-04T18:48:00.000+08:00

People like joking that if you appear to be particularly sunny some mornings, it's probably because you got some the night before. I find it hard to deny that. It's hard not to wake up humming 'My Girl' by the Temptations after just having mind blowing sex the night before.

But just getting some isn't quite the same as getting it good.

You can have a lot of sex, with many different people and don't feel quite satisfied. Quantity isn't the same as quality. It looks like the same applies for sex. How many people have you have sex with? How many of them were good? Probably just a handful? That handful are probably people with their good share of experience or is your regular partner right? In both cases, they know which buttons to push to make for mind blowing sex. On the other hand, if you haven't had ANY good sex ever, you're not have nearly enough sex yet, you're damn unlucky, or the problem is you.

Every time we think of sex with someone new, be it a fuck buddy, a casual fling, someone you picked up at the bar, or even a prostitute, our minds automatically think of some hot and dirty time in bed where you fuck each others brains out.

But the reality isn't always so exciting. There is such thing as crappy sex. And crappy sex happens you're fucking with someone who doesn't really want to fuck you back.

Alcohol is a great way to get people to lighten up and get people into the mood. But too much usually results in men not even being able to get a proper hard on. And when you're wasted, you aren't really thinking about sex... in fact, you aren't really thinking at all. So, if you want to avoid crappy sex... drink some, but not too much.

Money is another thing. Paying for a fuck is just about the surest way to guarantee crappy sex. When you pay a woman to have sex, it's you that's getting fucked - when the money left your wallet. And if and when she screams in pleasure, she's probably thinking about the new Gucci bag she can now afford to buy using your money. Once you're done, she's out the door faster than you can say 'herpes'. Pay the woman, and she'll fuck you - in more ways than one.

Of course, there are a lot of other reasons for crappy sex. Bad breathe and body odour comes to mind - though I'm lucky not to come across either so far. Freaky bed habits, like emitting weird noises or a stoned expression during intercourse are some. But the worst kind of sex is probably the kind well described to me once by someone when they said: "She drops her skirt, lies on the bed, spreads her legs and waits. It's like fucking a mannequin." In a nutshell, a lousy, non participative bedfellow. Damn.

But in my opinion, the biggest reason for crappy sex is - lack of experience. Size may or may not matter, but experience most certainly does. Ignoring everything else said above, sex with someone who knows what they're doing is always infinitely better than doing it with someone green. Contrary to what most guys think of themselves, we aren't born as sex gods and goddesses in bed. It takes a lot of learning and experimenting. I know a lot of guys highly rate banging young, inexperienced virgin women. Awkward pauses, lack of technique, teeth biting (ouch!) and the lacking of confidence - virgins are over rated. What the hell is wrong with you guys? Give me a real woman for goodness sake.

As for the men - we have our faults too. By default, men usually think they are real maestros in bed, hence they don't bother learning anything. In hindsight, I'll be the first to admit that I was a pretty crappy sex partner for a long long time - selfish, predictable & lazy. That's everything you don't want to be if you want show a lady a good time. I think the chief culprit here is porn - the sex tutorial video of most men. It makes us think that a good fuck is as simple as grab ass, suck nipples and bang hard.

But that's not quite it isn't it? You've got to learn which spots to touch; how much, how hard, how gentle. You've got to learn to read cues; what does she like, what turns her on, what doesn't she like? You've got to learn how to maneuver various positions; missionary with one leg up, two? Doggy standing, kneeling? Sideways? Legs together, apart? Subtle things often make big differences. And never, ever, ever underestimate the importance of kissing. Learn how to kiss passionately and her panties WILL be soaking wet by the time you take them off.

The thing I eventually realize was that our biggest sex organ is our brain (no, it's not your penis dude). The thing that gets ultimately stimulated is the brain. That's why it's called mind blowing sex. It brings new meaning to the term - fucking your brains out.

Anyway, take what I say with a pinch of salt. I'm not a love guru, and I don't have a long line of women knocking on my door waiting for a good fuck. Can't say I didn't wish it though.

I'm just a guy who knows crappy sex when he gets it..... that is when he gets any at all.

Cheers.

Laughing Your Panties Off

2010-05-04T17:41:00.000+08:00

You know how some men are real charmers? They ooze with so much masculinity and sexual energy that women get wet in their panties just by looking (or talking) to them. Well, I'm not one of them. But I do love to hate them. I don't know how to charm women. I don't know how to get them wet in their panties.

Maybe if I had a British accent I could, but I grew up freaking KL. The only British line I know is "Yeah Baby!" by Austin Powers. I doubt that'd work.

But there is one thing I think I can do - make women laugh. Not in the goofy slapstick kind of way ala Jim Carey, but the drier more subtle kind of funny that will get you smiling and chuckling rather than bursting out loud. I don't mean to brag, but I've been told a few times by women that it's actually an appealing quality. Women like being with a man who can make them laugh. At least, that's what a few of them said. I know how to hold a good conversation (mainly by shutting up and letting the woman do all the talking), I know how to complement a woman sincerely and I am think I am reasonably witty. I'm pretty confident in saying that I am reasonably good company.

................................OK, you can puke now.

Unfortunately, it's not exactly the kind of gift that will land a lot of women in your bed. I read somewhere that researches found that an evening with a good dose of humour and laughter would more likely make a woman more receptive to sex. This implied that a woman would more likely be in the mood for some fucking after a good comedy OR after sharing a good laugh with their date. I'm starting to think the researchers made this up entirely. I've not managed to laugh the panties off any woman to date.

I seriously don't think women get wet in their panties hearing why the chicken crossed the road.

I need to start watching some Hugh Grant movies......

Cheers

Fucking Good Gentleman

2010-04-22T23:22:00.000+08:00

Someone once confided in me that there were only 2 things she really needed a man to be; a gentleman in the day, and a sex god at night.

"Think about it. I just want a guy who knows how to treat me well... and at night when you're all stressed and uptight, a guy who knows how to give you a good time. And what better time can you have than having damn good sex right?" she said.

"Damn it, how come there aren't more women like you out there?" I said.

So she was looking for a fucking good gentleman (or is that good fucking gentleman?). I was tempted to blurt out that I was a blardy good fuck myself if she wanted to have a go, but the gentleman part stopped me from doing it. I couldn't be sure that was me or the wine talking (this was our second bottle), and I couldn't be sure if I was really a good fuck at all. I haven't exactly passed out evaluation forms with the women I've been with if you know what I mean.

People say that sex is a physical thing. People looking for a quick fuck say it's purely physical - no emotions involved. But the fact is, you still have to be attracted to someone to even want to go bed with them. And attraction is a mental thing. When you're attracted to them, you desire them, and when you desire them, the sex part is always, always more intense and pleasurable. And the more pleasurable it is, the more likely you will be considered 'a good fuck' by said woman.

Even though we'd just drank 2 bottles of wine between the two of us, and we were both kinda tipsy, and all we were talking about was sex, I still couldn't know if I was desirable in any way to this woman. Even if I did somehow manage to seduce her to bed, there isn't any guarantee she'd find me any good. Plus, she was a FRIEND. Some lines can be flirted closely with, but never crossed. I guess somewhere inside, I knew with this friend at least, I couldn't bring myself to cross that line..... unless I knew she wanted to. Damn, I can be so evil.

"Well, here's a toast...... to you finding yourself a good man, and a good fuck for life. I'll be sure to keep a lookout for you" I raised my glass.

"I'll toast to that. Cheers." she said.

"Your only problem is - a true gentleman never kiss and tells. So if he's really a gentleman AND a good fuck, his ethics will mean that he never boast such things to you. So, that leaves only 1 sure way to finding your man" I said.

"And what's that?" she ask

"You've got to start bedding more gentleman." I said.

"OK. You know any?"

"As a matter of fact, yes I do."

"Who?"

ME!

Memories Forgotten...

2010-03-23T02:37:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I wonder if you still think of me.

Sometimes I close my eyes and imagine how it would be like if things turned out differently. What if I had done things differently? What if I had chosen otherwise? How would things be like today? Whatever it would have been, I know it would have been anything but this.

Not that I’m putting my whole life on hold thinking about all these things. As Robert Frost said “In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on” Go on we must, and go on we shall. I’m moving on, I’m getting on with my life.

It’s just that I find myself waking up in the middle of the night as I write this, in a foreign land, tossing and turning, unable to sleep, and despite trying the hardest not to… I still think of you. I look out my window, up to the sky in the quiet of the night, feeling pretty sure that you are fast asleep. Do you ever think of me, like how I am of you now? A silly question really. It’s not like I’m ever going to get an answer. And I’m not sure I even want to hear one anyway.

And yet I continue to wonder. A bigger question comes to me.

If I’ve really moved on, why the hell am I still thinking about you? Isn’t it supposed to be that once you put someone behind you, you think about them once a year of five years down the line or something? Why? Why am I still thinking of you? And if I do, is there anything wrong with that? Does moving along mean having to erase the memory of the person from your mind?

In the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, both the lovers decided they want each other erased from their memory. He does so because he’s hurt that she decided to erase him first. Life seemed so painful; all the beautiful memories turn into spikes that stab at the heart when brought to mind. Happy are those who forget, for ignorance is bliss. But halfway through erasing, he realizes that for all the hurt and pain, there were plenty of things about her he loved and wanted to remember even if things were not working out. Those memories were precious to him. And the entire movie is about him struggle to keep the memory from being erased from his mind. And bloody hell, I was thinking about you after it all.

Do you ever wish that you don’t remember any of it? Is it now a stupid mistake you just want to forget? Or have you already?

I pick up the card you made and read the words you said, and the little smiley you seemed to use so often. The little folded paper carrying the CD you gave is in my bag. I laugh at myself. Geez, I didn’t realize I’ve been carrying it in my bag all these while. I’m not quite sure what to do with all of these things. I’m not sure what do with the memory of you that is now embedded in these items and in my head. I didn’t give you many things, but I do wonder what you’ve done with them. Did you throw it away? Did you bury it in the farthest corners of your home? And what of the memories? Have you buried whose? Have they been overwritten? Forgotten?

It doesn’t matter. These are just things I ask myself at moments like these in the dead of the night when I’m feeling weak, wistful… and just plain stupid. They don’t need answering, they don't even need reading... they just need saying.

As far as you go, this is what I promised you, and this is what I will be in your life.

Non-existent.

“Blessed are the forgetful; for they get the better even of their blunders” - Friedrich Nietzsche

Poison

2010-03-15T15:18:00.002+08:00

She holds my hand, glances at me sideways and flashes me one of those disarming smiles of her. A smile I'm sure has worked it's way into the hearts of countless men before me.

She winks.

I grin.

"You're quite the charmer aren't you big boy?" she says in her slow seductive voice.

"Now, aren't you the temptress" I reply with a smile.

She leans forward slowly, half biting her lips, looking at me straight in the eye not once blinking, daring me to look downwards at her plunging neck line.

I look straight into her eyes and hold her gaze. But not before my eyes betray me. For a split second, they work their way quickly down and up again.

I just undressed her with my eyes. She smiles knowingly. She knows she's got me.

Slowly she comes near me, bringing her face closer and closer to mine. She comes close to my ear, letting her lips gently brush my ear lobes. A tingling sensation shoots straight from my ear, down my spine, all the way to my loins.

"You have no idea baby..." she whispers and gently nibbles my ear lobes before letting go.

I close my eyes and inhale her scent. I catch a hint of her perfume. It's the one by Christian Dior. So intoxicating you know it's trouble, yet you can't stay away from.

The name?

Poison.

Poor Jack Neo - Women Not Enuf

2010-03-12T10:41:00.003+08:00

I imagine he must be feeling just like one of his movie characters right now.

Is it just me, or is the world and the media only too eager to crucify public figures these days? It's like we're all hungry for blood. It's the whole Tiger Woods episode all over again.

Personally, I'm reluctant to persecute the guy. The guy knows how to tell a story. He's movie Money Not Enough 2 single-handedly brought yours truly and half a dozen of his male friends ~~close~~ to tears. . His movies portray the true facets of living life in a competitive, consumer driver society like Singapore with all honesty. The characters he create are often less than perfect people. They don't pretend to be anything other than flawed human beings just trying to balance doing what's right and what they selfishly desire for themselves.

Isn't that a lot like you and me....and him?

Give him a break. He's Singapore's most successful film maker, not Singapore's biggest saint.

Let him lick his wounds and seek forgiveness from his wife. He's just human. And to er is human. But to forgive is divine. And I like to believe that there is a piece of the divine in all of us.

Protection during the World Cup...

2010-03-11T16:12:00.000+08:00

UK gives South Africa millions of condoms

What are they going to do, distribute condoms at the airport? Here's a quick fact check.

Football - Worlds Most Popular Sport with largest number of fans.
Fans - Predominantly full grown men who get drunk with beer and watch ESPN
Men - Testosterone driven animals with eternal passion for only 2 things; football & sex.
Sex - Means of human reproduction. The only thing men love more than football. Also how STD's are transmitted.
STD's - The only thing keeping us all humping each other like chimpanzees in the wild African bush.. till now.
Africa - 2nd largest continent in the world... also has the highest percentage of HIV /AIDS carriers. Incidentally host to the World Cup this year when throngs of horny, drunken men will alight on for a good few months.

So, if you add things up:

Men + Africa + Men's 2 biggest passions = DISASTER.

Condoms? Don't make me laugh. If you're serious about preventing another global AIDS pandemic, start giving these out at the airport.

Better Fitting Condoms

2010-02-25T14:41:00.000+08:00

Better Fitting Condoms

Better fitting condoms eh? I suppose they could start selling them in different sizes for a better fit. Sounds like a good idea on the surface... but it has some pretty potentially embarrassing moments. Can you imagine?

You're a guy. You walk into the store, you do all the usual stuff you do when buying a condom, EXCEPT.. now you have to choose a size. Now, if you're.. ahem... well endowed... OK la.. but what if you unfortunately belong in the lower end of the 'penis size' band? HMMMMM?

Cashier : What size you need?

Small Penis Dude (SPD) : Erm... xs

Casier : What did you say?

SPD : I said.. xs

Cashier : Oh.. I see. So that's one packet of XS SIZED CONDOMS. Anything else for you sir? (secretly laughing his ass off)

SPD : (Covering his face running out the store in tears)

Lesson : Please stick to the one size fits all condom DUREX. It not meant to fit our penises but our egos.

Waking Up is the Hardest Part

2010-02-11T01:22:00.000+08:00

More Free Music at MP3-Codes.com

When you're dreaming with a broken heart

Then waking up is the hardest part

You roll outta bed and down on your knees

And for a moment you can hardly breathe

Wondering was she really here?

Is she standing in my room?

No she's not, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

Have you ever had days mornings like that? Mornings where you just feel you're not up to going through the day.. because you feel like you don't have the strength to live through it.. at least for that day. You don't want to hear about how there's so much more to life to enjoy. You don't want to hear that you'll feel better if only you got your sorry ass up and start living life out there in the great big world. You just want to cover your face with a pillow and wait for life to pass you by.

I feel like I've just been rudely awaken from a dream. A short, sweet, wonderful little dream. The kind so vivid you find yourself wondering if was really a dream at all. The kind so intense, so real the emotions that went with it somehow gets imbued in your heart and you can somehow recall exactly how you felt, long after it's over. In the dream, you're flying.. you're soaring through the air.. and in dreams, it's impossible to fall, it's impossible to crash. You look straight at the eye of the sun with your naked eye, you feel it's fire and warmth passing through your body. You close your eyes and let the entire experience sink in and you feel the sensation fully penetrating your body. Every touch, every sound, every look, every laugh sets off a spark in your heart. And somehow, you feel more alive in that dream that you did when awake.

And then you wake up.... suddenly and abruptly. And soon, reality comes crashing down on your like violent waves over a rocky shore. Reality bites... and most of the time, it hurts. You shove your head under the pillow, in vain attempt to somehow go back to that dream. It's futile. Dreams are impossible to repeat.. even fools know that. But hearts are often stubborn; it works on it's own terms, and learns at it's own pace. In many ways, I have a silly little heart; hopelessly idealistic and perhaps a tad out of sync with reality. A foolish little heart that stubbornly wants to dream on.... Stupid eh?

Who would have thought a dream could touch your heart so deeply and affect you so greatly. A dream so vivid it felt almost like reality. Or was it a reality so amazing it felt more like a dream? On some days, it really felt like both were true. And that my dear........ is the honest truth.

When Minutes Fill An Eternity.

2010-02-08T00:21:00.005+08:00

Has it really been just a month since the new year? It feels so much longer than that.

I think it was C.S Lewis that said "The future is something that everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is."

For once, I actually disagree with him. YOU try feeling lonely, wistful and forlorn every other night. YOU try letting go of what your heart aches and so desires for and then tell me at what rate that hour seems to pass. I know the hour is still filled with sixty minutes but when your heart is in turmoil, but sitting through every single one of those minutes takes such an effort.

A much quoted line from the series Dawson's Creek "Letting go isn't a one-time thing, it's something you have to do everyday, over and over again."

People always imagine letting go as a one time thing; a one off decision you just got to bring your heart to accept. And once you arrive at that point where you feel you are ready to let go, you do it. You let go. And you think the worse is over.

But no, that's really just the start. You find yourself waking up the next morning still wanting the very thing you just let go. Again, you struggle and struggle to tame your unyielding heart. By the end of the day, you are tired and drained. But at least, you did it. Through sheer will power, you managed to let go, again. But for a good few days, you find yourself retreating into a shell. You're exhausted. You feel detached from the world. Your heart; too spent to feel anything. Yes, you function, you work, you socialize, but looking at your own frowning reflection in the mirror alone at night, you and you alone know the reason why the smiles form on your face, but not in your heart.

Some days you think you're on the right track. You find moments to be genuinely happy about here and there; friends that genuinely love you, time bonding with your family, a productive day at work, good food, enjoyable evenings out. They help lift your spirits... and you think maybe you can do this. Maybe it's not that hard. Maybe you've finally found the courage and the strength you need to let go.. for real this time.

But the frustrating thing about our emotions is, it's always playing tricks on you... or at least, that's how it seems. Because believe it or not, you still find yourself sitting in the dead of the night thinking thoughts you shouldn't, wanting things you really should stay far away from........ yearning for people you swore you will never hurt again. Before you know it, your heart is raging its own battle all over again... the same one you thought you had just conquered. But this time, your battered heart isn't as strong as it was when the first battle was fought... and yet, you already know the outcome that must prevail. You know what you must do despite it getting harder instead of easier. But like a solider fighting more out of obligation than conviction, you don't really want to be there, you don't really want to win this battle anymore. You just want to surrender, you just want to give in.

I guess here's the most frustrating part; what you want the most, is sometimes the very thing you mustn't have. And having to remind yourself of that fact every single morning is bound to drain you in one way or another. Its what really makes the day drag on and on. It's what really makes your heart tired and spent all the time. Its what really makes sixty minutes add up to an hour, but fill up an eternity.

Good night world.

Horny Engineers & the KL Tower

2010-02-07T00:38:00.002+08:00

You know...

I was just reading the other day about how pharmaceutical companies are trying to come up with a pill that helps men last longer in bed and prevent Premature Ejaculation (PE). What's PE? In a nutshell... it's when a guy cums too fast, too soon. This usually happens when a guy is over excited and for some reason or another, has totally no control over when or how he cums. He may still be young, inexperienced, just plain dumb, has no understanding of his equipment, has a medical problem, can't control his excitement.....or all of the above.

OR... he could just not give a shit and just wants to cum as soon as possible to his own satisfaction. In which case, I believe the proper medical diagnosis isn't PE, but C.A... as in Complete Asshole. Take my word for it... if you're in bed with a guy who just wants to fuck for his own satisfaction... the next time he wants some from you ladies, ask him to knock himself out with a jelly doughnut or something.

Anyway, I was contemplating writing a letter to these pharmaceutical companies alerting them how wrong they are in the direction of their research. The world doesn't need pills to solve PE. These little boys just need to learn how to handle their equipment properly.

What they really need to invent, and what I really need.... is ANTI-HORNY PILLS......

I'm sure there's a market for that. There are tonnes of people aren't getting any due to occupational circumstances. And not just the usual suspects like monks and priest... even engineers. Being horny on the job can be quite hazardous as an engineer. It is known to have some pretty disastrous effects. Sex tends to seep into their work in very subtle ways.

You want proof? The next time you're in KL.... look at the skyline and take a good look at the KL Tower. What do you think was the true inspiration behind that design? A bloody erected cock needing some attention that's what.

So ya... anti horny pills would come in pretty handy.

And if you really need to know...

YES. I'M HORNY.

Moments that Take Front Seat

2010-02-02T09:23:00.001+08:00

I used to love this show so much.I just remembered why

**********************************

I was loosing her

Guess I knew I had to but....

I want to stay, you know that. You got to know that more than anything...

But there was nothing more I could say except

"I'm sorry......"

"I'm not..."

I wanted to stay there in that night

more than anything I'd wanted before

But I knew I couldn't

I was 15, I slept under a roof my father own,

in a bed my father bought

Nothing was mine,

except my heart,

and my fears

and my growing knowledge

That not every road was going to lead home anymore

*********************************

Moments like that never really leave you

You try burrowing them at the very back of your mind

But they often end up taking a front row seat in your heart

Sexual Prowess 101

2010-02-01T20:37:00.006+08:00

Listen up boys.....

Two words : Sexual prowess

Simply put, it's your skill or stamina pertaining to sex.

Guys are competitive by nature in almost everything they do. Everything from how fast you run, how heavy you can lift, and even how far you can pee.... everything's a competition. Even sex becomes competitive sport. All men, I repeat, ALL MEN strive to become good lovers. And a big part of being a good lover is being good in bed. Now believe it or not, more than the number of women he can bed, a big chunk of a man’s ego is measured by his ability to satisfy them in bed. This is why everywhere in the world, we men seemed preoccupied over how good we are in bed. When I say how good we are, it means that if we are BAD in bed… we don’t want to know about it. Our fragile little egos can’t really handle that sort of failure. That’s why it ends up become the first thing on our minds, but last thing on our lips.

The problem with trying to measure sexual prowess: there are no quantifiable measurements. Imagine a guys line of thought; his ego is inexplicably linked to his performance in bed. He wants to know, but he’s also too terrified to ask. And on the other side, woman hardly go around telling men how good they are ‘performing’ because they don’t see it that way. And in addition, different women probably find different things pleasurable. So the man struggles in trying to find his own way of measuring his sexual prowess. Something he can measure across the field. He doesn’t just want to know; he NEEDS to know.

So what does he do? He falls back on the things he DOES know, which isn’t that much, but hopefully adequate. And what’s the most fundamental topic men who try to claim themselves to be men have good knowledge in? You guessed it: SPORTS. If marathons are about how fast you run and weight lifting is about how heavy you can carry…. hmmMMMm.. then surely sexual prowess is about how long you can last right? And if ending a race means crossing a finish line, then wrapping up your sex session must be the woman reaching orgasm right? Bingo! So the man concludes that that the longer you can last in bed, the higher the chance of her having an orgasm and the better you are. Simple, quantifiable, measurable; just the way a man likes his world to be. He now officially thinks he’s a god damn genius. Not since the theory of relativity has any man come to such a profound discovery.

Unfortunately, it all starts going downhill from there.

First, he discovers that he can’t last long enough. From highly reliable sources (namely porn), he knows that he needs to go at it for a good 30 minutes before the woman can come to a screaming orgasm. He of course ignores the fact that he actually also needs a 10” cock the size of a police baton (fragile egos remember). He tries, but discovers that the harder you try, the more nervous you get. The more nervous you get, the harder it is to stay erect (that kinda rhymes eh?). This of course results in an epic failure and he will cower away in shame for a good few days before attempting it again. His ego is on the line. But being a resourceful man, he thinks of ways to last longer; jacking off before sex, slowing down, doing math equations in his head, recite poetry… anything to ward off the impending explosion just a while longer… At least until she comes first…. THEN all hell can break loose.That's what he will keep telling himself "Just hold out until she comes..."

He first last for 2 minute during penetration; measly by any standards. Through sheer determination, he works his way up to 5 minutes….. but no orgasm. He tries harder and last 10 minutes…. Still no orgasm. He pulls out all the stops, solves 2 dozen quadratic equations and through sheer superhuman effort, last a good 20 minutes. Lo and behold…. NO ORGASM.

FUCK.

Something’s not right. But men aren’t quitters. He’s built to solve problems. If he can build the freaking pyramids, he can certainly do this. He calls in his chums.. and together, they spend billions of dollars in pharmaceutical research. They invent a little blue pill that will get him hard as a stick for hours on end. HAHA! Now you’re screwed my dear (no pun intended). If this doesn't make you come, nothing will. Of course, they have to mask they true intentions by telling the world it’s made for the old geezers who can’t get it up at all.

He pops the pill…. And the next round, he last a good hour. He comes repeatedly, but is still able to stay erect. Surely, this is it. Surely he has conquered. Surely she will………what’s that???

NO ORGASM? WHAT THE FUCK MAN?

He can't figure it out for the life of it.. So the woman... now suffering from a sore vagina and hearing way too many quadratic equations in bed, puts an end to all his crap and sets it straight once and for all to the man. She tells him two things:

Firstly, women don’t necessarily orgasm the longer you fuck. In fact, sometimes it just gets sore if it’s taking too long and she’s not enjoying it. It’s more on how good you are at doing it rather than how long you can keep at it. You would have done better learning how to spot what she likes, and what makes her feel good. Pushing the same button repeatedly no matter how long isn’t going to help if it’s the wrong fucking button.

Men’s reaction : WHAAAAAAATTTT????!!!!! There's more than one button???

Then the next second even more earth shattering truth.….. (take a deep breath men)

For women, having an orgasm isn’t a MUST every single time. It’s out of this world, and she most certainly enjoys it.... but if it doesn’t come… it’s can still be good and satisfying for the woman. You don’t have to beat yourself up if she doesn’t come like clockwork. An intense but pleasurable 10 minute fuck beats 45 minutes of mechanical fucking hands down.And you can always go at it AGAIN later.....

Men’s reaction : NO SHIT!! REALLY????!!! WTF??!!!!! We're allowed to do it AGAIN? *faint*

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

And back he goes to square one. But at least he learns a few things.

#1 Sports analogies don't work for everything.
(You now need to stop worshipping ESPN)

#2 Porn movies are total fucking liars.
(You've always suspected those 10" cocks were CGI generated anyway)

#3 It's better to hear it straight from the ~~horses~~ woman's mouth
(In other words...... you should have just asked her in the first place Romeo)

*disclaimer*
I'm not a woman. I don't pretend to understand woman's sexuality very well. I might have gotten some things wrong about women and what they like in bed. If you're a woman, and have something to add or correct, you can say it or share it here to the benefit & education of all men.

The Rainbow Connection & Me

2010-01-27T12:53:00.002+08:00

More Free Music at MP3-Codes.com

Why are there so many songs about rainbows and what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions, and rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it.
I know they're wrong wait and see.

Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers,

the dreamers and me.

Who said that every wish would be heard and answered when wished on the morningstar?

Someone thought of that and someone believed it.
Look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing and what do we think we might see?

Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers
, the dreamers and me.

All of us under its spell.
We know that it's probably magic.
Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.

Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors.
The voice might be one and the same.

I've heard it too many times to ignore it.
It's something that I'm supposed to be.

Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers and me.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers and me.

*********************************

What's so amazing, that keeps me stargazing?

What is it I think I will see?

What keeps the lovers, the dreamers and me

waking up in the mornings and going to bed at night still thinking of rainbows?

Rainbows that people sing are visions, but only illusions...

I don't know..

It's probably magic.....

Maybe some day I will find it... that rainbow connection.

Sigh....

The 2nd Floor

2010-01-22T18:01:00.002+08:00

Singapore never ceases to amuse me. It seems like there's something new to observe every time I'm there. There was once I was checking in late night into a budget hotel and the receptionist told me..

"Sorry... we don't have any rooms left, except on the second floor." he said to me.

"So? What's wrong with the second floor?" I answered, totally missing the point.

"Its........ a bit noisy." he said rather funnily.

It took a while before it sank it for me.

"Aaaaaah. Right. I see." I finally replied, finally understanding.

You see... the second floor is 'for fucking only'. All the men who pick up prostitues or GROs or whatever from the nearby bar or pub will come here. They charge about SGD15~20 for the room for about an hour. And since over the course of the night, quite a number of these 'couples' will be coming in and out, the second floor is kept for such a purpose. So everyone considers hotels like this to be fuck joints. But in truth, there are a lot of legitimate travelers looking for a place to stay... and the hotel tries to put them on the higher floors for their comfort.

Anyway, yes I did end up staying in the second floor. Yes, it was noisy. The sound insulation left a lot to be desired. It's like listening to porn instead of watching it. You hear them come into to the room. You hear the shower turn on when they wash up, you sometimes hear the rhythmic vibrations of the bed, then you hear the shower turn on again as they clean up, and you hear them walk out the door. 15 minutes later, you hear the whole thing repeat itself. I don't know how anyone's ever supposed to fall asleep with the full knowledge that there are people fucking, right there, right now just over this wall. It doesn't help one bit when you yourself have not got laid in quite some time. The only thing that helped was that I was too tired to feel horny.

Here's the fun part... after they are done, I could actually go up to my own door and see how they look like through the peep hole, which I did a few times, out of sheer curiosity and 'busybody-ness' (at least I'm honest k). Some were thin, some were fat, some were tall, some were short... and that's just the men I'm talking about. Hahaha....

But the novelty kind of wears out pretty quickly..... and by morning, with eye bags deeply set in due to the lack of quality sleep.....I swore never to sleep on the 2nd floor again.

The rain got to me too...

2010-01-22T10:10:00.000+08:00

The sky is grey.

The road is wet.

The rain falls and makes everything a shade darker.

I pack my bags and ready myself.

It's a long journey ahead,

I'm think I'm going home.

But the thing is, I don't know where that is anymore.

Looks like the rain got to me too...

Where the Living Stops

2010-01-21T15:21:00.000+08:00

I wait

and wait

and then I wait some more.

I wake up in the morning.

I do a mental check...

Yes, it's still there.

Wait a bit more brother.

It will fade away.

You just got to wait a bit more

I'm waiting

To stop thinking

To stop feeling

The problem is

It's not fading away.

I don't know if it ever will.

Every day feels like such an eternity.

Every hour feels like such a drag.

I wake up some mornings, and just wish the day will end already.

I float around during my consciousness, completely detached from people.

I laugh at jokes, but my heart is tired.

I have no energy.

No energy to be strong, fired up, angry, pissed off, inspired or anything at all.

I feel hollow. Nothing seems to move me.

No desire to laugh. No desire to cry.

I have no desire anymore.... for anything it seems.

It's the silence that kills.

The silence from your lips,

The silence from others,

The silence of loneliness

The silence in your own heart.

It's the emptiness that robs you of your smile.

The passion to live has somehow gone missing.

Some ask why I look so upset.

I say it's work, I say it's stress.

Convenient lies.

It's much easier for people to accept lines like that.

Because they often don't know what to say

When you tell them

That you used to be alive.

But now, you just exist.

With Nothing at all...

2010-01-16T18:16:00.001+08:00

I met a woman.

She was amazing.

She was Coffee Girl.

And I was Lost Lonely Boy

She was full of contradictions.

Easily content, but never stagnant.

She had ever changing opinions, but also deeply rooted principles.

Some days she's quietly baking cookies at home,

Other days, she's single handedly taking on the whole world.

She fights you every tooth and nail, every inch and mile.

But she goes along with everything you want,

and showers you with nothing but care and attention

She’d laugh and smile at every lame joke you made,

Not because it was funny, but because it was you saying it.

I couldn't think of a more beautiful thing to behold.

She could turn a cold shoulder, and make her heart hard as stone.

And nothing you did would move her. NOTHING...

But she could love you for every wrinkle, wart and pimple on your face,

even if the world turned its back on you and made you an outcast.

She'd defend you even in your absence, like you meant the world to her.

Because when she loves you, you DO.

She’ll stand by you to the ends of the earth,

And give all her heart and all her love, to you, and you only.

Because despite all the contradictions

there was one thing about her that remained unchanging.

With her,

it was always going to be all or nothing at all.

And so I sit here,

With nothing at all.

Sex Robot? WTF Man?

2010-01-16T17:08:00.000+08:00

I read this in shock:

World’s first sex robot wants to hold hands

Something is seriously wrong here.. Seriously. The most surprising part of it all was in the end, that said

"In a 2007 book, Love and Sex with Robots, British chess player and artificial intelligence expert David Levy argues that robots will become significant sexual partners for humans, answering needs that other people are unable or unwilling to satisfy"

Robots will become a SIGNIFICANT sexual partner for humans? WTF man? Since when can a robot ever replace our needs as people, for sex and companionship? I can't decide which is worse, talking and making love to a goat or talking and making love to a robot.

I speak as someone that's seriously lacking any sex or companionship of late. No matter how lonely, how horny, how needy you are, I don't think talking to a robot (or a goat for the matter) is going to cut it. You need a real life human being, with two eyes, two ears, lips, a biological heart and of course, a compatible reproductive system. No batteries (or tail). Can you imagine how sad and pathetic it would be to be sitting there, flirting, talking and hitting on a robot you can programme to say anything?

Sex is one of the most powerful things that connect two people together. Whether it's a one night stand, a casual fuck or a long term thing, sex always feels good to us because you are literally connected to that other person. They are one with you, you are one with them.. and since we are all hard wired for connection, establishing that connection feels fucking great.

And what about this? A robot is lifeless.... How the hell are you supposed to connect with a robot? What kind of needs could a robot fulfill that another human being cannot? A big, fat, stinky, old man/woman would do a better job satisfying your needs that a robot will be able to. Heck... I think even the goat will fare better. :-S

But then again, we all know better than to take sex and love advice from a chess player, no matter how intelligent he is.

Why Assholes Lead Happier Lives

2010-01-08T00:03:00.005+08:00

I was just silently listening to the conversation over lunch, smiling politely, giving a comment here and there. There were 8 of us... 4 single, 4 married. And the man of the moment, was a married man... back home where he came from that is. Over here in this country, he was as good as a bachelor with his lease untied.

The topic of conversation was mainly 3 things; pre-nuptial agreements, marriages (and why you shouldn't do it) and lastly, sex. Of course there was sex. You can't have a table of 8 men sitting around and only be talking about the weather can you?

Actually, I didn't like this guy one bit. He was a client. But he was an asshole in every sense of it. Professionally, I hated every single inch of him and his guts. He made my work life a living nightmare sometimes... and I always got this feeling that since he's an expat, he just wanted to make a grand show on how hard he really is working, or why he's worth so much dough when a local engineer could do the same job he does at half the pay, and minus being an asshole. And personally... well, I didn't want to know anything about him personally. He could have 3 testicles and a prosthetic dick for all I cared. But since it IS work, and you HAVE to be nice to the client, I played along... or at least tried to. I actually lost my temper with him that morning when I thought he was trying to be a smart ass with some inspection we were doing.. and I told him off.... to the TOTAL SHOCK of my colleagues and suppliers... because well, I never loose my temper............with anybody. And if you do, you certainly don't do it with a client. People can get fired over that sort of shit. He was probably the last person I should have lost my temper with, but he was certainly the easiest one to..... out of sheer 'asshole-ness'. Basically I hated his guts la.. to get that out of the way.

Anyway, he was boasting about all the different places he has worked in in his career... and how in every place you go... you always need to find some 'honey' or else what are you working for if not for those pleasures. he proudly told us about his numerous girlfriends, and how he got married only because well... girlfriend number 4 got pregnant, and he couldn't escape. He told us about how he wanted to 'tapau' a girl last night but it was too expensive and not worth the money. He was in one of KL's most notorious, up class and expensive KTV a.k.a brothel there is to find. Here in KL, it doesn't get any classy or expensive than that. He said no matter how classy, how high class, it's still the same kind of hole.

We all laugh and joked, and asked questions.... after all, you're not supposed to take clients out for lunch and tell them their an asshole... no matter how true it was. And being all men there, I think everyone wanted to appear macho and appear like a cad, or at least, they didn't want to be a spoilt sport. But there were 2 conflicting emotions in me.

First of all.... everything this man said... every way he describe his exploits, from how he got married, how fat his wife is, to how he couldn't afford an expensive hooker, made me sick. Sick to the bone. It wasn't about whether any woman was present. There was just something about the way he talked about women as if they were some 'commodity' that pissed me off. I grit my teeth and put on a smile. There were no women sitting around... but it didn't matter. You don't talk about people like that. You don't talk about women like that. No matter if they were scientist, air stewardess, high class call girls or ghetto prostitutes, every woman has her worth... and deserves some respect, even if they seem to have lost their sense of respect for themselves. That woman is someones daughter, sister... and one day, someone's mother. Would you talk about your mother like that you asshole? There is this one scene in the movie My Fair Lady at the end when Audrey Hepburn says to Rex Harrison "The difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she is treated.".... and the guy is left stunned at the amazing insight this former flower-girl-turned-lady was now telling him. I never forgot that line. The point was that every woman deserves to be treated like a lady, regardless of who they are. And when I say treat them like a lady, it doesn't mean you have to talk all formal, bow and curtsy together or any of those things. It simply means.... treat them with respect for the simple reason that they are a woman. And being a woman is to already have worth and value intrinsically built in. For all his bravado and boasting, I just felt like lunging across the table and choking the life out of him and kicking his prosthetic balls.

I loathed the way he talked about women. I loathed the way he seemed to have no respect in talking about his wife, or the prostitute he never took home. But there was something else. I actually looked across the table, looked at the man, and asked myself "Why can't I be more like HIM??" Why? Why do I even bother to have this self imposed belief about respect for women and all this shit? Why do I have to care so much about people and their feeling? Why do I have to care so much about women and their feelings? Why can't I just have my fun, and screw around, and not care about whether or not this woman deserved to be treated this or that way? A prostitute's a prostitute. A one night stand is a one night stand. A fling is a fling. You don't need to start feeling guilty if you don't give a shit about how they feel do you? Why can't I be a little less of who I am today, and a bit more of a jerk or asshole, or whatever else you call these breed of men. I've been asking myself this question recently "Why the fuck do you have to care so much about people's feelings?" Why can't you just focus on yourself, focus on what you want, and go get it you dumbass. Why do you get caught in that web of caring for people... and wanting the best for them... and trying to be a positive influence in their life? I feel like such an idiot... because looking at this guy, as much of an asshole as I think he might be.. I knew he was having his fun, having the time of his life. It doesn't bother him in any way how these women feel, if he in fact even bothers to acknowledge that they have feelings. He wanted sex and conquest.. and he was getting it. He couldn't give a shit about everything else. If that made him an asshole.. so be it, at least he was a happy one.

A part of me envied this man. Not for how many women he has bedded in his lifetime. But for how little he seemed to care about anyone other than himself. I honestly envied that. To be blissfully ignorant. To not care. And as convoluted and dysfunctional as it sounds.... I wanted to be like him. Because being him seemed so much simpler... and possibly.. happier.

Sigh....

Serendipity on this New Year.

2009-12-31T16:54:00.001+08:00

Hey,

If you read this, that means you've been faithfully coming back here, despite my lack of any interesting post to publish. A lot has been happening in my life.....both of the decent, normal but mundane kind, as well as the secret, hidden but utterly amazing kind of things.

Just none I really want to post here.. for reasons I don't really know how to explain only to say that whatever words I have to say concerning those things do not belong here. They belong somewhere else, it a space of it's own.

The most common thing I've been writing about in this small little corner of cyberspace that I occupy is about sex. I assume this is the reason why you choose to come back here. You want to read about sex. It's the same reason I get more hits here although I hardly say anything of real worth here beyond sex, infidelity and fuck buddies than I do in other places where I share my mind.

But I have no juicy sex related topics to share with you. I write this because I just wanted to talk to some of you. There have been a few of you who have consistently hanging around, dropping comments (sorry I have not been replying) and just choosing to read the who load of crap I write; everything from chimpanzees to Tiger Woods to prostitutes and Bangla workers. It is to these people that I write.Chances are, I will probably never meet or get to know any of you. But I know that behind every pseudonym used to leave comments to me, there is a real person behind that keyboard communicating with me. I would like to nod my head and acknowledge you. I don't need to name you, if you read this, you will know if it applies to you. By the same token, do acknowledge that I too am a normal person, with a normal life, with normal (and some abnormal) issues to deal with. I will not always have some juicy story to share and reveal. Life isn't always that controversial for me. There are other parts of my life which I do not blog about here because, well, that's not what this blog is for. Do not come checking into this page expecting something interesting to be there every week.

I don't know what you expect to be reading everytime I post something new, but just let me say that this ISN'T a sex blog. I write about sex, and I divulge details about sex and what have you, but that is not the what this is about. Neither am I some casanova with an infinite number of conquest of women to tell you, nor some S&M practitioner that does all sorts of kinky stuff... If you want to read about sex, sorry to disappoint you.

I don't really know if this blog still serves any purpose at all, beyond me just sharing things I'd rather not say in my other blogs. But if I do write anything here at all from here onwards, they will be things that go through my mind, and in some instances, glimpses of my life. Our world so caught up with instant gratification these days. A website hardly gets beyond 2 paragraphs on its first page to make an impression on it's reader before the reader decides to click X. I offer no instant gratification or quick and easy reads. If you do enjoy the things I have written so far, it would have been because you actually read through the things I've been saying. And it's people like you I like having around. If you find my mind and my thoughts interesting enough.. hang around OK... I hope it will be regardless of whether or not I blog about sex. As for the rest of you, you can delete me from your bookmarks now.

Whoever you are, I just want to wish you a very Happy New Year for 2010. I learnt something new recently. It's called serendipity. It's when you start out on your journey, searching for one thing in life that you think will make you happy or complete or better or whatever. But along the way, you accidentally stumble upon something else, that proves itself to be of equal or if not more value to your life. Isn't that beautiful? I have experienced serendipity.. right from this blog. I thought I was looking for something through this blog.... but I found other things instead, things that I now consider such defining moments in my life. And the most amazing part of it all was, I didn't even see it coming. So, for you my friend... you who read my blog.. in addition to good health, happiness and love (with essence of ginseng) that I wish everybody this year round... I wish that in the coming year...in whatever you do... you will find serendipity in your life.

Rainbows and Sunshine

2009-12-21T23:43:00.003+08:00

I held her hand and felt her soft skin.

I reached for her waist and pulled her close.

I stroked her hair and held her tight.

The sweet smell of her body

The gentle moan of her voice.

The melodious sound of her words.

Her lips; sweet and delicious.

Her hair fell over her forehead in the most compelling way.

Her eyes light up every time she spoke of something.

Her voice had passion that belied her petite body.

She was like firebrand; always stirring, always struggling

She was like streams of water; ever changing, always adapting.

She was like a rainbow; a rare and fleeting beauty that could only be cherished and loved. But never owned.

Rainbows are beautiful. Rainbows happen when there is rain and sunlight present in the right time, in the right amount, and at the right angles. The most beautiful things in life are made from opposing elements. Things that are bitter sweet. Things that not just sweet only. But things that are a mixture of one element with another that is supposedly the opposite. Things that are supposedly not ever meant to be associated with each other. Like rain.. and sunshine..

And yet... look up at the sky my friend. Look at what a little rain and sunshine can create. A rainbow.
Lucky is the man who chances upon it and knows how to appreciate it.

Beautiful in the it's simplicity.

Amazing in its richness.

I'd put up with all the rain all the time if it meant I get to gaze at that rainbow again.

I'd eagerly wait for the sky to break and wait for the sun come through.

Because it's with that beautiful rainbow in mind that makes me smile when I say those words

"Good Morning Sunshine."

A Beautiful Mess...

2009-12-15T16:51:00.000+08:00

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You know what? Wherever it leads to, I'm glad you chose the long scenic road.

'A Beautiful Mess'

You've got the best of both worlds
You're the kind of girl who can take down a man,
And lift him back up again
You are strong but you're needy,
Humble but you're greedy
And based on your body language,
And shoddy cursive I've been reading
Your style is quite selective,
though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests
that this is just what happiness is

Hey, what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't mind my nerve you could call it fiction
But I like being submerged in your contradictions dear
'Cause here we are, here we are

Although you were biased I love your advice
Your comebacks they're quick
And probably have to do with your insecurities
There's no shame in being crazy,
Depending on how you take these
Words I'm paraphrasing this relationship we're staging

And what a beautiful mess, yes it is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say
Kind of turn themselves into blades
And the kind and courteous is a life I've heard
But it's nice to say that we played in the dirt
Cause here, here we are, Here we are
Here we are [x7]

We're still here
What a beautiful mess, this is
It's like taking a guess when the only answer is "Yes"

Through, timeless words and priceless pictures We'll fly like birds not of this earth

And tides they turn and hearts disfigure
But that's no concern when we're wounded together

And we, tore our dresses and stained our shirts
But its nice today. Oh the way it was so worth it.

Poor Tiger Woods

2009-12-14T18:30:00.000+08:00

Am I the only one who is pitying Tiger Woods?

In case you haven't heard, Tiger Woods, arguably one of the most talented and dominating golfer of all time is now sort of in hot soup. He crashed is car into a tree, under suspicion of drinking or something. His wife had to smash his car window with a golf club to save his ass out of the car or something and he had to be sent to the hospital for a very brief while No major injuries. Nothing at all.

SOMEHOW, somewhere in between crashing his car, and his wife smashing his window, people started talking even more about Tiger Woods having an affair outside. How this even ties back to his car crash totally eludes me. The guy then starts talking about 'transgressions' and finally 'infidelity' and no is taking an indefinite break from golf to mend his family affairs. And now, everyone is waiting to see if major sponsors will start distancing themselves from him. All this talk about how it would 'damage his career' etc etc starts getting reported over the world.

And in all of this..... I was just thinking to myself

"Why the F**K is this being blown into such big proportions?"

First of all, Tiger Woods became an icon because of his golfing talents, not because of his 'moral integrity'. Secondly, despite now knowing that he screwed someone other than his wife, the man is still remains the best player in his sport. Thirdly, he ain't the first, nor will he be the last man (famous or otherwise) to be have cheated outside of his marriage. So why the hell is the media so intently making a big deal out of the whole issue?

I'm not saying the world should just pretend like it's no big deal. It is a screw up on his part. First for doing it. Then for being caught. But it's a personal matter, and it's got nothing to do with his professional life. David Beckham was caught cheating with the nanny. Did he get his sponsorship deals revoked? President John F. Keneddy was caught with Marilyn Monroe. Did he get impeached? Even good old Bill Clinton survived 2 expose's in his time in office. Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi 'consorts' with young beautiful women, and last time I checked, yup, he's still PM (albeit with a broken nose). And mind you, Italy is right where the Pope is, and even he hasn't said a thing.

I mean.... report it in the news if you have to. But all this over sensationalizing the issue just gets on my nerves. The news just goes on and on about how such a 'clean image' icon like Tiger Woods could do such things. Everyone's shocked. Everyone's surprised. *scoff* Tell me something; are you people really that naive? Or MAYBE... you're feigning it. Cuz really.... this ain't exactly THAT sensational a news you know.

Last I checked, he was still playing in the PGA, not the LPGA tour. Which means the guy still carries two balls with him after tee-ing off the driveway. When you have balls, I think it's safe to say you are a man. And when you are a man, I think it's safe to say that the possibility to cheat IS THERE. It always is. The richer, the more powerful, and the higher up you are in life.... the more likely it can happen. It's just a fact. So Tiger Woods cheated too. So? All it has proven is that though on the green he's considered a golfing god, off the green, he's still a normal human being. He faces the same challenges as everyone else, he battles the same demons. And just like everyone else, he screwed up big time too.

Give the man a break. He doesn't owe the world, nor the media any explanation. He doesn't need to make any statements, nor take a break from the game to 'repent for his transgressions'. People don't watch Tiger Woods playing golf because of his 'outstanding moral fibre'... they watch because he does amazing things with his balls. (That came out sounding funnier than intended). The only people he does need to make amends with is his family.

And we all know he ain't getting any sex anytime soon anyway.

Poor Tiger.

Today Ain't one of those days....

2009-12-10T11:41:00.000+08:00

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You know how some days you just feel like pouring your heart? You feel like if you don't share what's on your mind, or what' you're feeling, you heart feels like it is going to literally burst? You feel upset, you fell blue, you feel like the sky is falling and nothing seems right and everything just feels wrong? Know the feeling?

You want to know something?

TODAY'S AIN'T ONE OF THEM.

Nope. No-Sir-EEE.

Today I'm happy. OK, that's an understatement. Today, I'm way more than happy. I'm GREAT. No I didn't win the lottery. Today's one of those days where you feel like you're floating around dream-like state. You go through the motions of daily life... you perform all the functions of the earth.... but your mind is high up, in outer space somewhere, orbiting Venus probably.

Some secrets you feel like you need to share else it'd kill you. Others, you just want to keep to yourself and soak it all in.

You smirk, you smile, you giggle to yourself. The word thinks you're behaving like a total goof. But that's ok..... Cuz you know something they don't. Cuz you've got a secret and for once... it's a fantastic one.

;)

How to Buy a Condom

2009-12-03T20:36:00.003+08:00

Condoms...

Your primary means of protection against unwanted babies... and unwanted Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs). Also a pre-requisite should you be one of those people harbouring to get laid anytime soon.

You know how learning how to ride a bike, or having your first kiss tend to be defining milestones in your life? Well, I think for men, buying your own condoms for the first time is one of those moments. Buying condoms for the first time has got to be one of those most awkward retail moments I've ever experienced. Come to think of it... buying condoms STILL is an incredibly awkward thing to do.

I don't know if it's just me that feels this way, or if other men feel it too. But have you ever walked into a conveniences store... with the single purpose of buying yourself a pack of condoms... only to find yourself grabbing a few other completely random and unneeded items to go along with that pack of condoms?

I swear.... it happens to me every time.

It's almost like... you can't just walk into 7Eleven and just buy condoms only.... nothing else. You gotta walk in... browse around a bit... pick up some everyday stuff like some bread... or a beer... or whatever.. and walk to the counter, go by the rack of condoms and go "Oh, what do we have here? Condoms? Hmm. Yeah, I think I need a few... might as well." before proceeding to select your pack. I suspect maybe these convenience store people sort of KNOW these unspoken awkwardness about buying condoms. We'll never know. But the condoms are often often strategically placed nearest to the counter... so that it can always be the LAST item you pick up before leaving the store. Nobody wants to be seen doing their shopping holding a pack of condoms.

Selecting your condoms also always seem to be a hurried job too. I don't know about others, but I enjoy reading packaging labels before purchasing an item. I like to know what I'm buying. The first time I plucked up the courage to walk up to the condom rack, I was completely perplexed. I thought condoms were just condoms... But NoooOOooo.. you're presented with a myriad of choices. There's flavoured ones, ribbed ones, ultra thin, extra safe, comfort fit, extra pleasure, extra spicy etc etc..... I panicked. "WTF man.. what's all this shit? I just want a regular condom!" But at the same time, I feel compelled to properly make a selection too, in line with regular shopping habits. You add this to a unspoken reluctance to be seen lingering too long around the 'condom section'... I often end up just picking one.. ANY ONE.. within 20 seconds of arriving at the rack.

So you grab your pack.. and walk to the counter.. and hold it like it's just one of those things you picked up 'along the way' with the rest of your stuff and act cool.

This is the part where it can go either very smooth, or seriously awkward depending on your situation. There are 2 people you will meet. Other shoppers... and the cashier. If either one are MEN...you're safe. If one man sees another buying a pack of condoms, it's nothing to be shy about. It's almost something to gloat about. That packet of condoms basically shouts out "Take a good look at my face dude. This is the face of someone who's getting laid." The bigger your pack of condoms, the stronger the signal. And yes, you're allowed to snigger, though it's completely unnecessary. My suggestion; let the condoms speak for itself. Of course, this novelty dies down the older you get when buying condom don't seem such a big deal anymore.

Now, if you bump into a FEMALE cashier / shopper.. things may get a bit awkward. Maybe if the person was your age.........it's fine. Everyone screws around these days. No big deal. Just cross your finger and hope she isn't looking at your face and wondering "Wah, this kind of fella also can get laid ar? Bluueeerghhh" To preempt this reaction.... make sure you never go buying condoms in your favorite stinky shirt, shorts and slippers. You don't have to put on your best cloths, style your hair, spray some cologne and wear your best shoes.. The goal here is just to look somewhat 'fuckable'... Geddit. Fuckable. Consider tucking in your tummy throughout the entire duration you are in the store. If you're still looking ugly and repulsive despite best efforts, my deepest condolences. Dark shades or paper bags over the head are always useful.

The real problem comes if the lady you encounter... is any one those ultra conservative aunties who refer to sexual organs as 'your down there la'.. or 'that thing la'. Boy.... can you imagine holding a pack of condoms standing next in line to a lady old enough to be your mother? **Sweat** She'll probably be wondering "Eiyer.. look at this boy.... buying condom. He doesn't look like he's married. Tsk tsk tsk... kids these days ar....I wonder who's daughter is that." There's something awkward about acknowledging sexual desire when it comes to people we consider our elders. I'd no sooner divulge any details of my sex life to my father than I would listening to vivid details of how my parents 'do it'. It's just................ awkward. Sometimes I wonder how they'd reach if I looked straight back at them in the eye and smile and a wink, basically sending the message "Oh yes auntie. I'm boinking someone's daughter good. And yes, it could easily be yours!" Hahaha.... the thought never ceases to amuse me.

So yeah... that's pretty much it. You make your payment. and you walk out the door. And suddenly it doesn't seem like such a difficult thing after all, until you need to buy some more that is. Hahaha.....

Anyway, here's a good joke about condoms to close this (already way out of hand) post. It goes something like this:

A boy walks into a store with his dad and passes the condoms section. He becomes very curious about the different pack sizes and ask his dad how you know which sizes to buy

"Well son, the 3 in one packs are for single colleague students. One each for Friday, Saturday, and Sunday." said the dad.

"What about the 6 in one pack?" ask the son.

"That? Oh, that's for when you're dating someone seriously. One for each day of the week, except Sundays. Sundays you rest." said the father.

"And the 12 in one pack?" ask the son.

"That one my boy? Sigh..... That's for when you're married. One for January, one for February, one for March so on and so forth.............."

Cheers!!

Johnny boy oh Johnny boy.... Be Still

2009-11-26T00:51:00.007+08:00

Johnny boy oh Johnny boy,

Why the long face? Why the heavy sigh?

Let it go my boy.... let it go. As surely as you hold on tightly to some things, other things you just got to learn how to let go.

Why go down that road my boy.. why? Don't go down roads you know you aren't supposed to be on. Roads that you know come to a dead end. Roads you know only you want to be on.

Why yearn my boy, why yearn? Don't yearn for things that aren't supposed to be. Don't yearn for things you aren't supposed to have. Is it not enough to be happy with what you have?

Don't resent my boy, don't resent. You are who you are. Accept it. You will never be what you lustfully wish to be. Some things you are, and some things you just aren't.

Think straight my boy, think straight. You've been entertaining too many crazy thoughts. Thoughts that should remain just that; thoughts and nothing else.

Stop it my boy, stop it. You can't have your cake and eat it. If you try to, you might just hurt not only yourself, but everyone else too. Then what?

Don't covet my boy, don't covet. Though some things you just long to have, long to touch, long to hold, sometimes, it's just not meant for you.

Johnny boy oh Johnny boy,

I know your heart better than anyone else. I do. Everyone knows you're a good man. But I know deep down you feel like THAT is your problem. You feel like you're just too darn nice to do things you aren't supposed to do, to say things you aren't supposed to say. to reach out and grab the things you want without caring. I know you hate this part of you as much as you are proud of it. And I know that you hate that you just can't stop it either. You are starting to hate being a good man, and that is sad. You feel trapped. Trapped between being the person you've been all this while; sensitive, thoughtful, respectful and acting on the things your heart so desires for.You envy those who don't know any better, you envy those who aren't the wiser, because later when they do grow wiser, they can turn back and just say "I was a fool then, I'm wiser now." And all wrong deeds are forgiven and forgotten and they are praised for learning so well from life's lessons.

You could. You could really throw all the cards in the air, fling morality, reason and everything else out the window and go for broke. Gamble. Risk. Do the very thing you are so terrified of doing. Live your life with abandonment. And taste the glorious fruits of your lustful actions. Or feel the pain of crashing and burning in your own foolishness. You may decide you want to be a fool for once in your life. But even if you do, it still takes two to tango my boy. Do you drag others down that same road of foolishness with you? Who's the real fool; the one that doesn't know any better or the one that does but acts the fool anyway?

I know my boy, I know. I know you feel it's something special. I know your heart is not moved easily, and now that it has, your world feels upside down. I know you look deeply into those eyes and long for something more to be there. A light. A spark. A way. But there is no way. There is no spark. And the light you see is an illusion of your mind. You are hoping for something that isn't there. You are looking for a road that does not exist. The lights are dim, the music is in the air, but it's just you standing there alone on the dance floor. She will not tango with you boy, stop kidding yourself. You set yourself up for disappointment

You're a tormented soul. But you are the tormentor of your own heart.

You're a big boy.... you should be able to take care of yourself.

Hold on tight. Weather this raging storm your feelings are pouring down on you.

Seek peace.

Seek solace.

Be still my soul. Be still.

How horny am I?

2009-11-25T00:22:00.000+08:00

How horny am I? Oh, let me count the ways:

1. I'm so horny, listening to the pre-recorded voice of my telco phone customer support turns me on.

2. I'm so horny, I'm actually listening to Marvin Gaye singing Let's Get it On

3. I'm so horny, I thought of trying to hit on the 'auntie' from my office.

4. I'm so horny, I'm staying clear of women holding lollipops.

5. I'm so horny, screwdrivers are sounding more and more like a sex toy.

6. I'm so horny, midget sex doesn't seem like such a gross idea after all.

7. I'm so horny, the thought of fucking a fat woman doesn't make me puke anymore.

8. I'm so horny, "You want fries with that?" is starting to sound like a pick-up line.

9.I'm so horny, I tried looking up the skirt of a guan yin statue before remembering that goddesses don't have vagina's.

10. I'm so horny, getting a blowjob from even from a guy may be.... wait a minute... no.... sorry... I'm not THAT horny.

If you find me in my bedroom, dead with a massive hard on, it probably means I died of horniness.

Jacking off is like...

2009-11-21T19:11:00.000+08:00

Jacking off is like............ going vegetarian.

It fulfills the purpose. It gets you through the day. It fulfills the hunger for a while. But it hardly ever leaves you satisfied the way sinking your salivating mouth into a hot juicy piece of ~~woman~~ meat does...

And for the record, I hate going vegetarian. I always need meat.

I know what you did...

2009-11-21T15:42:00.003+08:00

He thinks I didn't notice... but I did.

He thinks I didn't know... I already did, from the very start.

But I play along.

I close an eye.

I'll put up with it for now.

Il'l feign ignorance for now.

I'll allow you your little secret........ for now.

Why? Because everyone has secrets they keep... and so do I.

Pissed, tired, horny

2009-11-21T04:25:00.001+08:00

Sorry, I'm not in the mood to write about anything remotely interesting here.

It's 3.30a.m in the morning right now, my eyes are heavy, my shoulders are tense, and every inch of my body is asking for rest. But for some reason, my heart won't settle.

Maybe it's because I'm disturbed. We just had first long distance argument over IM's and Skype. She was damn pissed at me.. over some stupid issues pertaining to her family and medicine.. which I will not write here (cuz I'm just not in the mood for that right now)... and somewhat upset that I had not informed her that I was going out with friends...

You want to know a secret? I lied.

I told her I was out with my guy friends watching a movie. That was only half true. I was in fact, out with A friend. A female one at that. And we had dinner, and a movie, the we drove around, and stayed out late for drinks before saying goodnight.... and yes we had a good time (or at least I think we did)

Don't misunderstand. There was no hanky panky. We were friends. This was just casual dinner. And a movie. Heck, she paid for dinner, at her insistence. Our appointment was made weeks earlier. She wanted someone to watch a movie with. I just wanted some company. She needed some help with her boyfriend's car. I just wanted to drive her boyfriends car (because I've never driven a car like that before). Perfectly harmless. Perfectly platonic.

But I lied anyway. Because it was easier that way. Her insecurities and suspicions sometimes knew no bounds. She'd automatically be suspicious of any women around me other than those already known and trusted by her. She didn't trust other women. She stopped short of saying it in words, but she didn't trust me either.

But I wasn't about to kick a fuss or complain. Let her maintain her distrust. It's OK. It's warranted. Because god knows, thoughts of cheating had already come to me very early on. Thoughts of screwing other women, and stating affairs and whatever else comes my way.......... oh yes.. they were there.... and I think I've been only too ready to act on them. Maybe I've just been waiting for the right opportunity and the right candidate to come along. Will I feel guilty? Probably. Is it enough to stop me? Honestly? No. I meant it when I said I'm sick and tired of being goody two shoes. This time, I don't care if what I'm doing isn't quite right, or morally acceptable. I find myself yearning. Yearning to feel with my body, the warmth and the pleasure of a woman's body.

I'm not used to this permanent heightened state of horniness. Imagine getting a steady supply of tap water for years and years.... and suddenly the tap is shut tight. That's how it is right now. I'm high, and I'm dry. My judgment is clouded. My mind is polluted. Dirty imagines and thoughts have found a permanent place in my head. Every interaction with persons of the opposite sex seemed a more heightened than normal. Every casual brush of the skin and touch of the hand... more arousing to me than it really should be.

I also look at my recent few post was just wondering since when did I so suddenly favour using the F words so often and so liberally. It's probably an accumulation of sexual frustration. It has to come out in some way.... and in my case, it's seeping through my words. It's no longer enough to just say "I'm feeling horny." I need to say "I'm feeling fucking horny." It's not enough to say "I need some pussy right now.:" It's "I fucking need some fucking pussy right fucking now.". It just feels like the words not quite properly convey the emotion without the F word sprinkled (generously) around my sentences.

OK... that's it.. that's all I have to say right now. Maybe I'll feel better in the morning after a good rest... But right now? I'm just pissed. I'm pissed, I'm tired.... and I'm horny.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgghhh.......

This lucky S.O.B... is my idol.

2009-11-19T19:50:00.003+08:00

You see this guy right here? Well, at the moment.......he's my freaking idol. Or more like fucking idol.

In case you haven't heard, this dude right here was formally known as some professional photographer. But today, he's mostly known as the lucky-son-of-a-b*tch who's threesome sex tape with Ms. Japan 2008 and Ms Trinidad & Tobago 2008 has been leaked onto the internet.

Another sex tape you wonder? I mean, after Paris Hilton and Dr. Chua Soi Lek (our former minister), Gary Ng and Edison Chen, you'd wonder if this was even news worthy anymore. Sex tape only mah... what's the big deal?

The big deal is....... the footage........It's raw, it's real.. it's SMOKING HOT!

In case you haven't seen it, parts of the video here but you gotta search elsewhere to find the missing first half, which features Ms. Japan in some much hotter action. First half of the video has little Ms. Japan giving our dude here a blowjob before being pounded in the ass by our hero here. Maybe Ms Japan doesn't do it up the ass often, or maybe she likes it too much, but BOY.. she is SCREAMING HER LUNGS OUT.. and when he's done, she has this "Oh.. MY.. F'in GOD.." look on her face. And who's filming them? Ms. TnT of course!!

After some cute jokes and a giggle he asks Ms. Japan "Do you want to film me fucking her (Ms TnT).." and she starts Ms. TnT in action with said lucky bastard who starts out doing doggy style before changing to ride on top of him and yes, anal too.

I watched the entire footage, mouth agape, cock hard as a rock, wondering to myself "How the fuck did this guy get so lucky? Having a threesome is one thing. Have a threesome with 2 hotties is another.... but having a threesome with 2 national pageant winners?????????? THAT.. IS.. FUCKING... WICKED... DUDE.

I suppose he sort of knew that himself, cuz there's this one moment when the dude has the biggest, goofiest grin on his face when pounding Ms. Japan in the ass from behind that said something to the extent "Look at me ma, I'm pounding Ms. Japan in the ass, and I'm about to pound Ms. TnT too!"

When you hear me, and the rest of the male population calling him a lucky son of a b*tch.. it's our way of begrudgingly acknowledging that the guy has just did something all other men only dream about. And in my current ultra hyped up state of horniness, you just want to fucking HATE THE DUDE!! I mean, how do you think it makes a person feel, when he can't even get laid normally, and then he hears about a dude, who takes pictures for a living, gets to screw cute little Japan AND and sultry Ms TnT.....at the SAME TIME!!...There should be a law against boinking 2 beauty queens at one time I tell you.

The only other person I can think of that might match this guy... is none other than George Best.. the legendary Manchester United player. God rest his soul now that he's dead, but George Best is considered a real legend among Man Utd fans... but he wasn't famous just for kicking a ball around like he owned the field. He was known to be a heavey drinker, and a real charmer (read womanizer). So much so that he was said to have dated and bedded countless countless hot beauty queens and models and actresses........ You can never be sure of which part of his life they are referring to when people call him The Legend; what he could do with a ball.... or what /who he did with HIS BALLS?

But I doubt even George Best had a threesome with two beauty queens.. which is why our lucky bastard over here, also deserves some sort of salute also la..........which is why for at least this moment, this guy is my idol!!

I need this book : Idiot's Guide: How To Get Laid

2009-11-17T19:34:00.001+08:00

2 seconds after publishing that last post, I wondered if I should perhaps delete it.

I was suddenly worried about what people might start thinking. I was just thinking.. "Ayo, after whoever reads it just thinks I'm just this crude, horny desperate guy who doesn't even know how to get himself laid. How ar how ar how ar?"

Then I remembered. "Wait, oh ya, right...I AM a freaking crude horny desperate guy who doesn't know how to get himself laid. It's not the only thing that I am.. but it's certainly one of the things." Hahaha........

I laughed at myself.... and decided to just keep it there.

After all, I'm pretty sure every (normal) human being, male or female, young or old, straight or gay, holy or hell-bound have at some point in their life felt the same way... Horny as hell but not doing anything about it cuz, they're just not quite sure WHAT do to.

You know that series of 'Idiots Guide To' books? Yeah, well I think they missed one subject to their series.

"Idiot's Guide : How To Get Laid"

F.U.C.K.

2009-11-16T02:51:00.002+08:00

I know I may be just blowing things out of proportion right now.

I know many men have lasted longer without.

I know it ain't about to kill me

this sounds crude

BUT

I'M

STARTING

FEEL

DAMN

FUCKING

HORNY

JACKING

OFF

EVERY

SINGLE

NIGHT

HAS

NOT

HELPED

ONE

SINGLE

BIT

WHAT

THE

FUCK

SUPPOSED

FUCKING

WAY

CAN

LAST

THE

YEAR

WITHOUT

GETTING

ANY

PUSSY

NEED

REAL

FREAKING

BLOWJOB

FROM

WOMAN

NEED

SPANK

SOME

ASS

NEED

GRAB

SOME

BOOBS

I

NEED

TO

EAT

SOME

PUSSY

NEED

FUCK

ARRRRGGHHH

TOMORROW

EVEN

PIANO

LEG

MIGHT

START

LOOK

AROUSING

THINK

I'M

F.U.C.K.E.D

of menstruating & Horniness

2009-11-13T14:35:00.002+08:00

Would you have sex with your partner if she was on her period?

This topic came up recently in one of my conversations with a friend. Apparently, some women are horniest when their on their periods.

Funny, cuz I always thought women tend to become extra bitchy (than normal) during these times due to the discomfort. Some women I know have cramps so bad they can't function the entire day. Other women seem to just breeze through it. Some women get PMS (which contrary to popular belief, is actually short for Prehistoric Monster Syndrome) while others don't seem any effects at all. And suddenly I'm told women are also horniest when during their period! Can you believe that?

I somehow think this isn't true for all women. (I'm pretty sure their isn't any statistics on this either). But I wouldn't dare challenge the authenticity of such statement especially when it is made by a woman herself.... simply because... well..... Firstly, hearing that a woman gets horny is always a kind of good news no man would willingly disprove. We want you to be horny. We really do. It makes us being absolute dickheads not such a bad thing. And second, this sorta thingy fits nicely into a category I like to call 'the great mysteries of the universe; figuring women out'. Women are 'un-figure-out-able' (HAH, I'm pretty sure I've just invented a new word there). Thirdly, we don't really understand this whole period and PMS thingy. I once read a quote (can't remember who sorry) that said something to this effect "I can never fully understand something that bleeds 5 days in a month, every month.... and doesn't die." Whoever that brave man was, I'm pretty sure he slept on the couch that night (or was buried six feet under if the wife was on PMS)

But if I was a woman, and I was having stomach cramps, I'm bleeding out of my vagina, and I've got to wear this pad everywhere, soaking up my blood, I don't think I could be horny one bit. In fact, I'd probably want to make all the men around me who don't bleed every month suffer too. Make them bleed too. Muahahahaha...

Assuming this is true, that women do get hornier during their periods, and she's willing to get it on with you, there are still some hurdles to overcome. First there is the issue of blood and the mess it creates. A man will need to overcome the fact that she's bleeding. This is a case of mind over matter. You've got to be horny enough, not to care that you're about to stick your weener into a bleeding vagina filled with month old placenta and membranes being ejected from the body.

Then, there's the issue of creating a mess. If you're humping on the bed, it's bound to stain. A coloured / disposable towel will be needed at hand. Your freedom of movement is also limited, as you can't be withdrawing and performing half the positions of the kama sutra without dripping blood everywhere. At max, you're stuck with 1 or 2 selected positions. And when the deed is done, and the man withdraws, he'll have to overcome the inclination to faint upon seeing his weener smothered with blood. (and if you have a weak stomach for blood, this may be a problem). There can also be no more oral sex after penetration.

A fantastic idea was mooted by my friend to counter this. Do it in the shower. Brilliant. No mess, blood washes away, and there's no need to shower again after sex!

Another plus point on having sex on a woman's period (other than the fact that she's extra horny) is that there is zero chance of getting pregnant. There's no worry about accidentally conceiving, no counting down the days to your period, and the best part is, no condoms needed. You can do it raw (provided you trust she hasn't any STD's. Ain't that a good trade off?

So gathering the facts, I stand a better chance of getting laid if I can find myself a horny menstruating woman who needs a shower.

Here's the pickup line (doomed for failure)...

"Hey babe, you menstruating?"

"What?" *slap*

"Ouch, no.. I mean... you look like you might be feeling horny tonight you.. cuz you know, you are menstruating right?" *wink*

"WTF?" *slap slap*

"No, no.. I mean that in a good way.. as in if you're horny, but menstruating, maybe you / we should take a shower?"

"You sick pervert!" *punch & kick in the balls*

:-S

Sigh...............hopeless. I'm never going to be able to pick up women, menstruating or otherwise.

We made love, with teardrops on her cheeks...

2009-11-09T16:15:00.000+08:00

She gives out a small scream as I tried pulling the towel off of her. Her hands grab at the corners of the towel tightly as I yanked even harder..

"Aaaahh!..". she shouts, as I successfully take the towel off, revealing her naked body. I give a naughty smiles as I throw the towel to one side.

She turns to the mirror, and starts poking at her tummy and her thighs... "You see, I'm so fat. Sometimes, I really wonder what is it in me you see. SO UGLY." she says, widening her eyes and making a funny face at me.

I stand up, and turn her around, holding her by the waist.... and yank her towards me, our hips joining one another.

"UGLY.. Who says ugly? How dare you talk bad about my woman!!" I reply.

"I may have no sense when it comes to cloths and fashion, but I will have you know, that I happen to be an excellent judge of people... and I have EXCELLENT taste when it comes to women. So don't you dare say other wise ok?" I added as I mockingly poke at the fats at her arms.

She gives me a knowing smile, as she feels my erection growing underneath my pants...

"Why hello there.... what do we have here?" she says starts brushing the front of my pants.

I raise her hands and wrap them behind my neck as I pulled the rest of her body towards mine, her bare breast and nipples rubbing against my chest. "We have unfinished business, that's what we have" I whispered into her ears.

We start kissing, as I rhythmically turn her body left to right, gently rubbing her nipples against my body. She gives a moan, and as the she does so, I kisser her deeper, burying the sound in between our locked lips. I lead forward, the the both of us gently crash down on the bed. Her hands leave my neck, and slowly start pushing my shorts down and away.

I lift her up and place her center of the bed. and come on top of her. I run my lips down her neck, kissing her skin every few inches downwards, from her neck line, to her breast, down her navel, and finally to her crotch, teasing her a bit before coming back up again, kissing her lips deeply again.

I stop, and look down at her, her eyes wide open, her hands laid at her side, a look of total submission on her face. I know it's her favourite position. Me being on top. Me being in control. She enjoyed that. I pull her body close to mine, and slowly spread her legs, positioning myself to enter her.

She looks a bit surprised. "Don't you want a blowjob?" she asks. I smile. She knew how much I enjoyed her blowjob, and she knew exactly the way to give them to drive me crazy every single time. I never needed to ask for a blowjob. She gave them to me eagerly and willingly; something I was infinitely pleased about.

"Shhhhh.... no talking." I whispered in between a smile. "You can give me the blowjob later..." Right now, I just wanted to make slow, gentle, passionate love to her. She closed her eyes, as I slowly guided my manhood inside of her. I felt her body arc and her moans escaped her lips, as I entered all the way.

Her hands reached behind my back and clasp each other as I thrust long gentle strokes, burying myself completely in her and pressing up and holding after pushing all the way in before taking it almost completely out. I placed my hand behind her neck to support her and giving her quick light kisses, keeping the distance between her body and mind just enough so that her nipples rub against me as her body moves to my strokes.

"I love you... I love you so much... " she tells me in between the kisses and strokes...

I reach out and run my fingers down her cheeks. "I love you too beautiful." I feel a drop of water along her face and thought it was my sweat, dripping on her. Only..... I wasn't sweating at all.

It was her tear drops.

I wiped the tears away from both cheeks, and just continued kissing her. There was really nothing much to say. It was a moment of tenderness, of vulnerability, of love... and all I felt I could do, was hold her tighter, and make love to her, all night long if possible. We just kept at that position.... and I focused all my energies on her, her body, and the sensations we were giving each other. I held and I held and I held, and finally, when I could not hold the floodgates anymore, I came; my slow gently strokes turning into long hard powerful ones releasing all my fluids , deep deep into her as I moaned deep and loudly. Her hips, gyrating to mind, her moans, echoing mine.

My muscles loosen, as we stay motionless on the bed. The contractions slowly fading. The muscles in my leg twitching so hard, even she could feel it. We continue kissing each other..... small, quick kisses.

"I'll miss you.. I'll miss you so badly..." she tells me....

"It's OK dear... its OK. Everything will be OK. I'll miss you too... but everything will be OK.." I whispered into her ears.

A lover that never was.......

2009-10-31T09:49:00.000+08:00

I hardly have dreams... but I had one... a few nights ago.

I suppose its really nothing interesting to write about, except that in this one, someone unexpected made an appearance. An old crush.... More like... an old infatuation really. The first girl I ever fell head over hells over with. The first girl I plucked up the courage to try and call and make small talk with, the first girl that somehow, broke my heart despite the fact that nothing ever happened between us.

I was in some bizarre hall, with some completely random bunch of people, watching a performance on stage. My girlfriend was there, sitting in the back. I was floating around the room, talking to people here and there. I remembered everything immediately right after I woke up, but I guess with all dreams, you forget most parts as the day gets going. But one part, the most significant part of that dream, stayed with me. It's almost like the whole scene got imbued in my mind, become a memory. Only... it never really happened at all.

I sat at empty row of chairs, watching some sort of singing on stage, and then to my left, I realized... that she was there sitting next to me, exactly the way I remembered her...

******************************

Heart shaped face, almond shaped hazel eyes, long smooth hair, soft voice. The same face I admired for so many years as I was growing up.... but always, from afar. Even now, so many many years later, the thought of her somehow still evokes strong emotions in me. We were in the same school, in the same class for seven years, and even attended the same private tuition together for a while. I used to steal glances at her from the other side of the classroom. To me, she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever laid eyes on. I'm pretty sure she wasn't perfect, but it sure felt that way to me at the time. On days that she noticed me, or talked to me, I would feel elated. On days that she was absent or sick, I would feel down and blue. Everyone used to tease and guess that I had a major crush on her. I denied everything till the end, something I came to regret later. I should have done something... but I guess at the time, I didn't know what people meant by fighting for your love. But I was also afraid. Because somewhere deep down, I didn't think she liked me the way I liked her. She WAS one of the prettiest girls in school... she had plenty of suitors. I didn't want to be just like everyone else. That's why I never admitted my feelings to anyone.

I was too shy to try and court her openly. It took me 3 and a half years before I plucked up the courage to call her to chat on the phone, and despite the language barrier, she somehow responded to my calls. When I called, she would into her room, making sure there was no one around before we continued talking. That tiny little fact was enough to make me shoot to the moon. She wanted to talk to me, ALONE.......

I think she knew how I felt about her. I somehow believe that women always know when a man is fond of them. I'd go tongue tied around her. I'd hardly even dare look her in the eyes when I first saw her. Just the thought that she knew and acknowledged that I existed gave me butterflies. I thought about her day and night....... Have you ever fell so hard for someone like that before?

I kept the phone calls secret from everyone else. I don't know if she ever told anyone. But despite it going seemingly well.. I stopped. I stopped calling.

I had heard from someone close to me, that she had said she could never like 'a guy like me'.... I didn't know what 'a guy like me' meant. But whatever it was, she didn't fancy it. A guy like me? What kind of guy am I? Too fat? Too boring? Too plain? Too nice? Too............. ordinary? I admitted it ... I AM an ordinary guy. There is NOTHING special about me. I felt like my whole world was crashing down on me. She just validated my insecurities. A girl like her, beautiful, admired by men, envied by women.... could never like, love or even consider............ a guy like me. I think till this day, I still carry that sense of insecurity. I still feel like 'a guy like me' could never be appealing to women, especially beautiful women, who could have their pick of men. I still feel like 'a guy like me' falls short of other more good looking, capable, suave, macho, fashion savvy, rugged and charming men.

I told myself I should stop liking her. I told myself I should start hating her. I told myself I deserved someone else.. someone who could appreciate me for who I was. I didn't want to like someone who didn't like me. And so I stopped calling her. I couldn't bare talking to her anymore after hearing what she allegedly said. And she never asked why. I could stop the calls... But I couldn't stop the feelings inside. Despite trying to hard, I couldn't bring myself to stop liking her. I couldn't bring myself to stop feeling the way I felt about her. I knew I deserved someone who would appreciate me and liked me back... but all I wanted was for HER to appreciate me. And so, I continued admiring her from a far, continued thinking of her... even with a wounded heart, even when it hurt so bad. I never dared seeking out the truth in those words I heard too because.................................I was too afraid that it would turn out to be true. It was easier to think that I called it off than to find out that I never really stood a chance.

Maybe this was why I started ignoring beautiful women on the surface. Maybe I want revenge for what she did / didn't do. Or maybe I'm afraid of falling for them and discovering that they could never like a guy like me again, repeating my whole nightmare.

On the last days of school, as we graduated.... I took one last look at her.... from a far... like how I did all these years. And though I had deeply admired her for so many years, I gave up long before anything could ever start. I remember gazing at her and thinking to myself that this IS the last time I'll ever get to set my eyes upon her like this again. I knew that this was the end of it. She was the lover that never was... She'll never know... how strongly I felt about her... She'll never know... how my heart ached for her all those years.... she'll never know... that I adored her much more deeply that all those other men, who were only interested in her looks, and her body. 7 long years I admired her from afar. I regretted not being more of a man. Those were the last days I had any sort of her presence in my life....

******************************

And suddenly, here she was again, sitting next to me, in my dreams. And the feelings were the same. Looking at her still gave me butterflies.. and she was still as beautiful as ever. I looked at her speechless.

She reached out and held my hand...... and I stared at her soft skin and cheeks... numb.

She opened her mouth and said to me "Go out with me.. just for a month. Treat me the way you would if I were your girlfriend. I just want to know, how it feels like... being with you. I'll be gone from your life after that.... I just want to know......"

Numb

"but.... I have a girlfriend... and she's right at the back... and.... and...." I stuttered.

"And.... I dont care...." she said.

I looked back at her, looked down at our touching hands.

"So this is how it feels like to hold her hand..." I thought as the emotions started to swell up. For so long..... for so long I stood by......

Maybe the thought / dream of it was too much for me.......... jolted out of my sleep.

It felt so real.
It felt like I finally did hold her hand.
It felt like I finally did have her heart.

Why? Why was she suddenly haunting me now in my dreams? There have been very few significant women in my life. She was the first one ever to sweep my off my feet in such a spectacular way, despite doing nothing. And despite not being anything more than just friends with her, somehow, I had reserved spot for her in my heart knowing fully well that the place will never be taken up. It remains there empty. Only a few women have ever completely swept me off my feet..... she was the first one. The second one, was blissfully sleeping by my side, unaware that I was awake. Would there be third one? But perhaps in memory of how she made me feel, I have been reluctant to totally erase this girl from my mind. Maybe that's why I dreamt of her... she's still there somewhere in my heart.... a shard from the past refusing to be erased; my first feelings of infatuation, obsession, heartbreak, hurt, fear. She stole my heart, kept it for years and she broke it into pieces... not knowing she ever had it in the first place. The lover that never was......

Sigh...........Why couldn't I just have dreamt of naked women on the beach or something.....

I'll miss you....

2009-10-22T19:18:00.002+08:00

The radio was playing gently, as I navigated my way through traffic. We were coming home from dinner.

The countdown had started almost a month ago, when she first got the news confirmed. I was so excited when I heard the news. "Oh my god, you got it! You got it! Exactly the way you have hoped for!" I said to her with excitement. I guess the euphoria of it all was still in the air.. and I was just conveniently shoving aside the implications of it all. It was what she wanted. It was what she had been aiming for. And it was what, I was supporting her in.

She was going away.

But tonight, I felt the looming arrival of that date.. the date she will be going away. As the weeks passed, the feeling of euphoria had slowly turned into one of a somewhat detached feeling of pending sadness, uncertainty... and mostly fear.

"A lot of things can happen in a year..." one nay sayer told us.

"You're putting your relationship at risk..." another said.

"Money isn't everything..... " came one more answer.
"Men shouldn't be trusted......" that was the worst.

Were they right? Is what's about to happen really that big a deal? Am I doing the right thing? Am I risking unnecessarily? What if something DOES happen in this one year? A part of me is fearful of what they say... because in some ways, maybe it's true. Maybe men CAN'T be trusted. And me being a man myself...... like I said, I wouldn't trust myself. If temptation came, if opportunity arise..... could I resist? will I resist? I shrug the thought aside... knowing fully well what the answer was.

Another part of me stares at these nay sayers in defiance. I believe in the foundation of what we've been building all these years. It'll take more than a year of being physically apart to tear down what we've been building for seven years. At least, that's what I've been telling people. I've been dragged down that road before.. that road of temptation.. and I've emerged from it.. victorious... many a times. I knew I could resist it, so long as the will to resist was there...

But even the strongest of hearts falter sometimes. And I did. I faltered. The one and only time I even did falter. And it was........... in her absence.

I reached out, and switched off the radio. I reached out for for her hand, and she grabbed mine gently. Our hands clasping in that familiar way.. and I held it, not wanting to let go. I remembered when we used to drive my first car, it was a manual car. I had to let go of her hand everytime I had to change gears. She would smack my hand and ask me to pay attention to the road when I tried grabbing her hand or rubbing her thighs. She would feign protest, and threaten to tell everyone how cheeky a guy I really was, but she would always let me hold her hand. Now that I drove an auto transmission car, I never had to let her go of her hand at all.

A part of me now didn't want to let her go away. Maybe that was why I was holding her hand again, all of a sudden. Months and months of encouraging and supporting. Months and months of reassuring her and everyone else that it was ok, I found myself unsure about myself. I was sad... I was confused... but mostly... I was scared. Scared of myself......................

A red light blinks, and I bring the car to a halt. I let go of her hand, and brushed her thighs again. I turn to look at her.

"You know I'll miss you right..................." I said.

There is a pause as she looks at me in the eye, as if she could tell that despite all looks an appearances, there was more in between the lines in that sentence. She knew I was never the type to start getting emotional so easily. I think it was the pauses and silence in between that she was reading. In some ways, I'm sure she knew that for one emotion I was revealing, there were so many others I was hiding, just to put up a brave face to make her departure easier.

I looked back into her eyes. And I knew that it only took one word from me. One utterance from me, and she'd cancel the whole damn thing and stay, because I asked her to. She had told this to me, and I knew it was true. But she also knew.......... that I would never do that. I have loved, encouraged, supported, argued, debated, fussed and fought with her... But she knew I'd never order her. I knew that she freely gave me a big say in a lot of the things she did. I knew she'd listen to what I say. But I loved her too much to try to take away her individuality.

"I'll miss you too... " she replied.

I look to the front as the light turns green and the cars start moving again. The silence continues as I gently stroked the back of her palm.

"You don't like that la......... Make me feel so....... " as she pulls her hands to her chest and rest them on her heart.

I got the message. There was a reason I avoid getting overly emotional with her in critical times. I don't think she could handle the sight of me completely breaking down emotionally. It has always been her the emotional one, I the level headed one. She the over reacting one, me the voice of reason. I knew I had to be the stronger one emotionally. I knew even if it was just a front.... I had to be the braver one, for her sake.

I look at her and smile... "No la.. just saying only.... " in a considerably more lighthearted tone.. "after all, who am I going to ham sap with while you're gone? Unless you don't mind la, I go look for my mistress.... "

"Hmmphh!!!" she says as she crosses her arms..

"Don't you know? She's only the second prettiest girl after you..." I reply.

"And who would that be?".....

"Andrea Fonseka...." I said.

"You aarrrr.... So yam! So ham sap.. forever with your Andrea Fonseka... Go marry her la u..." she starts ranting away, fully aware of my open adoration for the former beauty queen, one of the very few celebrities I actually like.

"Not marry la.. Mistress only. " I shoot back.

"People don't want you also la.... " she says back.

There will be plenty of time to think of those things again... but right now, I had to enjoy moments I was living right now. I smile a big cheeky smile at her again... and she pulls my ear in jest, and she forgets all about the vulnerable moment we had earlier. I turn up the radio again and speed down the road.... burying those thoughts for a while longer.

The Lady in Red...

2009-10-15T21:48:00.003+08:00

The doors open, and I breath out a heavy sigh..

"Damn, I guess this comes with being in a big city" I think to myself. I've never had much tolerance for crowds. I detest crowds. I try avoiding them like they were a disease. Earlier, I had order my lunch to go and sat in the park and ate by the grass, rather than sit in the stuffy, overcrowded Kopitiam. It was nice.. The grass was clean, the weather was cool. I was wondering why I seemed like the only one doing this; eating in the lawn, by the grass.

But there was no avoiding this; the MRT. My fastest and surest way home. I stepped in, and try finding myself a spot to stand, and pretend I'm not aware of the hundred other people around me. Most have their ears connected to their mp3 players. I supposed I'd do the same to if I were doing this all the time. I had a book in my hand. The Five People You Meet In Heaven by Mitch Albom.

I was adamant in ignoring every one and get on with my reading. Deeply engrossed in my reading, I didn't bother looking if the person next to me was hot babe or a Bangladeshi. But then I spotted her, from the corner of my eye..... the lady in red, just 2 feet away.

I've never been the type to ogle at women much. Like I said before, some messed up thing in my brain keeps telling me to not stare too much at them BECAUSE they are pretty. Something like my internal little Mahatma Gandhi passive resistance movement. Only, I wasn't fighting the British, I was fighting against giving them the satisfaction of yet another guy lustfully gazing at them. But this girl, made me boot Gandhi out for a while, if you follow me. I quickly did a second take... Damn, she's pretty. Not to mention oh-so-stylish. Long straight hair, with streaks of blood red highlight. Wearing dark brown shades but behind the glasses, I could see perfectly shaped eye brows, not too thick, not too thin. A tube top with floral patters sewn in and her jeans a dark navy blue, with red linings on the pocket. High heeled shoes with red, matching again the red toenails and fingernails.

"Red..."I thought to myself, " the colour of boldness......the colour of seduction.... " Maybe with men, red is just another colour, but not to women. It means SOMETHING when a woman wears red. It's a signal. Feisty, sexy, bold, confident, daring, wild.... this woman in red stirred my imagination.

"I wonder how she's like in bed? A real tigress I bet. Damn, I wonder if underneath....." I cut myself short. Naughty naughty me.. get back to your book your horny little bugger. This ain't a place to start getting ideas.

More people come in and out of the train.. and we shuffle places. I'm holding on to a pole... and as luck would have it, she ended up standing right next to me, holding the same pole. I ignore her, just reading my book. Of course, I wasn't REALLY ignoring her. The trains were getting really jammed, and I could see she was being pushed.

Pushed to the point that we had to squeeze... and our arms started rubbing each other. Her skin was so soft to the touch! I could smell the perfume this close. Damn it.. the scent of a woman always gets to me. It's one of those things I'm incapable of resisting. Of course, I was still face down, putting on my stupid show of supposed reading.

The train moved station to station.. and eventually got a bit emptier. Usually, in the availability of space, people spread out and take up more space for themselves. But she didn't. She continued standing there, brushing skin with me. Hell, if she wasn't moving, I sure wasn't going to too! Hahaha... Or maybe I was reading too much into the whole freaking thing. I had been away almost the entire week... and by this time, I was actually feeling rather horny. I keep trying prevent myself from remembering that I seriously need to get laid.

Her station was next, and as the doors open... she flicked her hair, and made her way out of the train. I caught one last scent of her perfume and watched as she swayed her hips and walked confidently and sexily out of sight.

"What a masterpiece..... the lady in red.." I muttered under my breath.

I put my book away and started to think to myself. Hot sexy women squeezing in with you on daily basis, maybe living in a crowded city like this does have its perks after all.

Balls, Chimps & Fuck buddies....

2009-10-12T18:32:00.005+08:00

One wife just ain't enough

Don't ask me why our local newspapers seem to be constantly reporting weird sex-related stories from our southern neighbour Singapore. This being the most recent one, about a taxi driver marrying 3 different women, one local Singaporean, one mainland Chinese and the last one Filipina. He's line of defense? He loved all three of them! Public outcry and hoo-haa because we're supposed to be a monogamous society.

Thank got me thinking. Are we monogamous or polygamous, or bigamous..whateverelse-gamous lot? I couldn't gather a bunch of guys fast enough to answer this question, so I started looking at our closes relatives, the monkeys and other primates instead. I mean, minus the fur and the tail, most men tend to behave like monkeys anyway

I found out that some primates, such as Gorillas are polygamous... meaning the alpha male basically screws all the female he can conquer while the rest of the lower ranking minions are left to jack themselves (or each other) off. The alpha male is the biggest, strongest, bad ass there is in the group, and as such, all the female monkeys with all their sophistication and high standards, will only be willing to be screwed by this baddy

Other species such as Chimpanzees are more promiscuous in their mating system. The males screw any and all females. and the females screw any and all the males they want. I believe you call that polyandrous. Cool eh? The only problem chimps will have is that they have to constantly be mating in order to keep their bloodline. But that's like having too much money to spend. Its a problem, but it's a GOOD problem. Anyone who complains of such things needs to get their ass kicked. I finally understand why scientist have been saying all these years that chimps are the most intelligent mammals next to us. They aren't just clever, they're freaking geniuses! Chimps... the original swingers.

Here's where it gets interesting. Researches have found out, that the answer to my question, lies..... IN THE BALLS... literally. Your balls guys, start cupping them. See in polygamous species such as gorillas, have small balls. Because the way it works is, since the alpha male has defeated all other males and now owns all the females, his sperm isn't in contest. He can screw them as and when he likes, at his leisure. Thus, his balls aren't well developed. Polyandrous species such as chimps on the other hand, have huge balls, because they don't fight each other over the women. Everyone screws everyone else. The battle is a statistical one; the more often you screw, the higher the chance you are the dad of half the next generation of chimps, thus the need for huge balls, to produce more sperm. I guess it ain't easy being a chimp either. But doesn't that sound so much more developed (not to mention fun) than say, just physically bashing up other males and taking the women?

So you see, the conclusion is, Gorillas are stronger and mightier, but damn crude la. Chimps are more sophisticated, and have the bigger balls... Don't you just love biology? (I wonder why they never taught this to us in biology back in school. LOL..... )

So back to us Homo Sapiens...

Unfortunately ladies, I can't tell you if the men in this region have big balls or small balls, because quite frankly, I haven't seen that many sets of balls, beyond the kind that's MEANT to be kicked and dribbled with. If you have kicked and dribbled any other kinds of balls, kindly refrain from doing so in the future.... we too would like to have kids some day. The only balls I'm intimately familiar with are my own, but its size is a secret YOU'll never know! ;-)

But it seems from comparison, humans have 'medium' sized balls. To quote a line from the article:

Humans, which have a socially monogamous mating system, accompanied by moderate amounts of sexual non-monogamy, have moderately sized testes

So in layman terms, we are in between the gorillas and the chimps. That means, part of us will always ever be fighting for position to be alpha male, jostling and shoving other men aside to 'own' as many women as we can. Winner takes all. Losers are left high and dry. The other part of us are just like the chimps. I screw your wife, you screw mine. We all get drunk Saturday night and do a sex orgy, everyone's happy, everyone's satisfied. May the man with the biggest balls be called dad. I'm suddenly more fond of chimpanzees than I have ever been.

Here's the article I was reading.

To tell you the truth, I'm more inclined to think we are more like chimpanzees, or at least I am. Sexually, I mean. (No, I'm not trying to hint at the size of my balls). Our society advocates social monogamy, and along with it, sexual monogamy. Social monogamy means that you make living arrangements, spend your money and live your day to day life with one partner. Sexual monogamy means that you only have sex with one partner at any one given time. But only 3~5% of mammals are sexually monogamous! And I tell you, those intelligent chimps aren't part of that 5%!

In a way, it explains why despite being perfectly happy in a relationship with a good sex life, my eyes still stray, and my mind lingers upon other women or why I am still having this obsession of having a fuck buddy. Turns out it's because I'm a freaking warm blooded mammal, with medium sized balls! Social monogamy aside, sexual monogamy is something perhaps we are all in-built to struggle with. Maybe that's why both women and men have lusty desires or sexual thoughts of other people other than their partner. At the most primal level, our animal instinct still calls out to us. An instinct that does not acknowledge social boundaries, accepted norms or predetermined practices of society. An instinct that only seeks to answer one call; the call to mate. I'm suddenly starting to love biology again.

I'm not trying to justify wanting to screw around. Wait, what am I talking about? I AM trying to justify screwing around!! Haha....

So unless you are a cold blooded reptile of a man, with really really tiny balls, don't tell me I'm wrong in looking for a fuck buddy!

Cheers.

Hello Mrs Jones again

2009-10-04T16:39:00.003+08:00

Well, I've changed my blog song again.. back to the old one. Lyrics are more befitting this blog anyway.. gosh, it's almost like my theme song for this blog.. Haha...

Tell me if it's starting to hurt you ears...

Seeing Singapore...through my squinty eyes

2009-10-01T20:57:00.009+08:00

The thing I've always liked about traveling to a new place is that you see the same things as the locals do, but with fresh eyes. The very same things the people of the land find normal, you find unique. Whenever I get the chance to be in a foreign land, be in another country or another state, I enjoy picking up bits and pieces of what makes that place different. Here's are some small little observations I've made of Singapore... just as I travel around the city:

#1 There's a Merc, BMW or Lexus in every corner

Unlike in other cities where the luxury vehicles are mainly seen in the city centre, Sg seems to have these evenly peppered around the island, unless I keep seeing the same car over and over again! On one hand, I think it's a testimony to the wealth of the country and it's people. On the other, I think it's almost like a mandatory thing for them to have so not to loose face to their neighbours... you know la... the old (dare I say it?).... kiasu behaviour.

#2 Not an inch of free parking space!! WTF?!

I usually drive into Sg... and to my great surprise & amusement.. there is HARDLY A SPOT you can park your car without having to pay. You either pay by cash card or old school style via coupons. Oh, and here, everyone reverse parks.. except those freaking Malaysia car drivers who never obey the laws of the land. :p Back home, you pretty much park your car anywhere you want as long as you're sure you won't get scratched or summoned. By the road, over the curb, in between houses, anything goes. Here, every square inch of parking space is chargeable, and I constantly have to hunt for a 7-Eleven just to make sure I have enough coupons or my Autopass/Cashcard has enough money. Which leads me to my next point.

#3 7-Eleven's in every corner!!

I'm used to having a 7-Eleven nearby in KL. It's what one those things I'm so used to having living in cities. Whenever I go to a slightly more rural town, I'm half amused, half horrified when I find out there isn't a 24hour convenient store around. Not that I frequently feel the need to buy things at 2am's, but just in case la..... 7-Eleven's don't just sell condoms, they are LIKE condoms... Better to have them and not need them, than to need them and not have them. Haha... Anyway, Singapore is FILLED with condoms.. I mean... 7-Elevens.... Every nook and cranny, every corner. It's not a bad thing actually...it's just that I was starting to wonder "Do you really NEED so many?" Is carrying 10 condoms with you going to make any safer than carrying say 1?

#4 Buildings & Infrastructure look good

Most buildings in Singapore look reasonably good and well maintained. You get the sense that it's a well oiled, well run place. The schools especially catch my eyes. Fields are nice and green, buildings look modern. Unlike the kind I used to attend n Malaysia... fields are muddy and dirty.. and all schools looked alike; horrid longish rectangular buildings with triangular roofs. It's like they got some chinaman contractor to do one and decide to replicate that nationwide! At least here, each school looks different.

#5 Trees, trees & more trees

One of the most unexpected thing I notice the first time entering Singapore (via second link) was the trees. They really really make it a point to plant as many trees as possible, especially in the residential areas. But I have been told this isn't so much about Singapore trying to be environmental friendly but more of trying to make this tiny island city less daunting to live in. You don't squeeze in almost 5 million people into 660 sq km of space without first thinking of living arrangements. I was told they plant so many trees so that it becomes less obvious that behind that thick bush there is another road, or another tall condominium, or another HDB flat. The trees also soften the cold hard concrete walls of the buildings, give cool shade and take away that feeling like you're living in a concrete jungle. Not bad la these people.....

#6 Women; Urban, well dressed & howt!

On average, I gotta say, Singaporean women are quite a delicious and desirable bunch, that is, if you dig the well dressed, smart, sophisticated working lady. Black seems to be very much the in thing for the working ladies (unlike in shanghai where I observed they preferred a bit floral). Some are more casual, others more chic, some elegant. But in general, most of the women I see look rather presentable.... and sexy. I don't know why, but every I spot a well dressed lady wearing short little skirt, I kept wondering if she was wearing a thong underneath, or anything at all for the matter.. Tsk.. tsk...tsk.... dirty little me.

#7 Cramped shopping malls, eateries, streets, everything!

5 million people. 660sq km of space. Need I say more? I tried having fast food for dinner. It wasn't fast. I had to join a loOOong queue! You queue to take a taxi, you queue to buy dinner, you queue to withdraw money. There's a freaking queue everywhere! Why can't we just jostle and shove each other like normal people? I thought this was a free market! Survival of the fittest? ;P The only place you don't have to queue to get something is probably Geylang.. and it ain't for the food baby... Jokes aside, I do tend to feel a bit claustrophobic of sorts when in Sg. Everywhere you go there's tonnes of people. The need for physical space is often overlooked, but it's something I'm always aware of. I was sitting in Mc'Ds and the tables were so cramped! More cramped than any other Mc'Ds I've tried in other countries. I could hear every word the auntie next to me was saying. Heck, I could even smell her............ fries. My hats off to all you Singaporean sex bloggers who have actually succeeded having sex in a public place. Considering the level of difficulty, you deserve it. I would've gotten caught long before my pale white ass got any sunlight.

#8 Everything looks same same

After a while of driving around and seeing the place, I started to get this feeling of deja vu all the time. Didn't I just pass by this 7-Eleven? Isn't that the same black Merc there again? Is this the same foodcourt? Is this the same school with the nice looking field? These trees look strangely familiar. Get the point? Everything seems to follow some earlier decided format of how things should look. Everyone drives shiny and clean cars. The condos and HDB flats look so alike there's no way of telling. Unlike other places where downtown is rather scruffy looking and dirty, every inch of Singapore seems pruned to the point of being........ sterile. Not that that's necessarily bad la...

#9 Sex blogs and the gutterpost

OK, this isn't exactly Singapore per se.. but virtual Singapore. The thing that has really caught my attention is the sheer amount of sex blogs Singapore has managed to produce. Maybe it just comes with being urbanized and connected to the world. I mean there really is A LOT of people out there more than happy to type of the intimate details of their sex lives.. some mundane, others bordering on insane. Does it have anything to do with living in a highly dense, highly internationalized, but highly conservative society? Has this produced all this virtual voyeurs who are looking a safe way to express their sexuality?

How many of you visit the gutter post? www.gutteruncensored.com. It's this cool little website that compiles all the latest juicy sex related scandals, videos, pictures etc etc on one site. You ain't a porn star (amateur or likewise) until you've been put there. Everything from great Gary Ng to Edison Chen, to that Philippine doctor and countless leak photographs and videos of people having sex has been featured there. Unfortunately, it's been completely blocked in Malaysia. The author explains here in this other website (unless this is blocked too). See, the blog author won't stop posting controversies of certain Malaysian political big wigs and their sons with their pants down and their hands up other women's asses, and so, these powerful ministers just block their whole damn website from everyone in Malaysia. Fucking idiot. What are we now, like China blocking the Internet? Anyway, so only when I'm in Singapore do I get to catch up with the latest gutter post where it is thankfully NOT banned, unless maybe your PM is caught with HIS pants down. But so far so good. So, thank the stars for Singapore!

#10 Invasion of Indians

If you ever work in Jurong Island, you'll see almost 100% of laborers are Indian nationals, more than half of the engineers are Indian nationals. In Geylang, one of the Lorongs are dedicated to Indian prostitutes (don't ask me how I know, I just do). Meaty, Fat, Old, but cheap and they even smell of coconut oil (which I suppose is a turn on for them Indians?) Dedicated to these hard working labourers who travel thousands of miles away from home to build Singapore, these labourers will screw these Indian prostitutes like it was a matter of national pride, and to keep the money in Indian hands. They'd never be caught with their pants down screwing *gasp* a Pakistani or Bangladeshi. :-s If you go to Serangoon Road on a Sunday, you'll see thousands of Indian labourers hanging about, walking the streets, sitting on the fields, and most bizarrely, HOLDING HANDS (Why the hell do they do that anyway?). They form little group outings, to walk the streets and catch up with each other. I was told they are tightly knit, and whenever there is a new addition to the workforce, he is taken out and is introduced and initiated into the group. Inevitable questions will be such as which village the chap is from, and how far it is from theirs, what their father and mother do and how many brothers and sisters they have. Cute.

I'm not being racist. It's just that it looks like formerly predominately Chinese Singapore with its signature la's and meh's is starting to have some curry and masala in the mix. Better start get used to have curry mee instead of your pork noodles!

Anyway, its just my 2 cents worth as a frequent visitor to this country. I think maybe the Singaporean flag should have a cili padi as its symbol. It's small, but it packs a large punch.

Secrets....

2009-09-29T17:10:00.011+08:00

I hope you don't have any secrets from me.... I don't keep anything from you.

I stare at her... completely taken aback. For a silly second there, I somehow thought she knew everything. But no.. that wasn't it. I looked deeply in her eyes. I am speechless. Two simple lines... and I am speechless. Again, I just look deep in her eyes. I see it. Love... Trust... Vulnerability...With love comes trust, and with trust... comes vulnerability.

Secrets... Yes, I have secrets. Secrets you'll never know. Isn't it funny that that would be the name of this blog? I am sharing things I never intend to share with anyone... but mostly from you. Strangers can know, bloggers can know.. but not you. You can never know.

A sense of guilt, of stupidity, of recklessness overcomes me. "You're a damn idiot, you really are. Why can't you just be happy with what you have? Don't you see the love in her eyes? Don't you hear the vulnerability in her tone?" I told myself.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with others who are reckless with yours.

That's what the song says isn't it? The song you listen to every single morning on the way to work you... Yes it is, you damn hypocrite.

I am insure what to say. I look back at her... I come forward... and I hug her long and hard. "I love you so much... there is nothing dear."

I lie.

There is nothing in my life I keep from her... except this. This strange little refuge I find in staring in front of the screen, divulging my inner thoughts and secrets to complete strangers who in the real world, don't really know who I am, what my life is like, or what I stand for. And yet, these strangers know my deepest insecurities, my darkest secrets, my lustiest wishes... but they remain that... strangers.

Is this blog that big a deal? Is it wrong of me to be keeping a secret account about my life and deliberately hiding it from the one I love most? She knows not of my blogging activities... and I happily keep it that way. The only ones I'm willing to share, are the ones you see on my Facebook.

The problem is not with the blog. The problem is what's IN the blog... thoughts that never see the light of day, things I do behind her back. That's the real thing I'm hiding, that's the real thing that left me speechless; the fact that I could love this woman so much, and yet still keep secrets from her. While she kept nothing from me.. surrendering totally all that she has, keeping no secrets.

It makes me feel like a horrible person. It makes me feel like something is wrong with me. Has harbouring secrets sexual desires and lusty thoughts become a barrier between us? Why do I have these thoughts and feelings? Am I truly unsatisfied? What am I really looking for? Is it something I just need to get out of my system? Or is it something much deeper than that? Is this a sign of a rot in our relationship? AM I the root cause of this rot?

Why can't I just be simple and whole?

I sit in silence, inching my way through traffic. I turn my radio off. I try to hear myself think. The rain starts falling, and I listen to the raindrops...... the words come back "I don't keep anything from you"..........I switch the radio on... full blast. I sing along.. as loudly as I can... I need to drown out the thoughts that follow those words.

Someone else's words echo in my head.. Something about trying to become someone we're not. Something about being honest with ourselves... Suddenly I don't know what the hell I'm doing. Sex is but a small (albeit important) part of my life. Am I blowing it out of proportion and making it a bigger deal that it really is? So what if I don't get any sex for the next 12 months? So what if I never do a one night stand or find a fuck buddy? So what? There's so much of other things in my life I need to deal with.. a mother stuck in a home, a father thinking of flying away, an discontented brother, an insecure girlfriend, and a confused me who can't even decide if he's really sexually frustrated or not.

Damn it....

Maybe I don't really need a fuck buddy. Maybe I just need a buddy first.

Tracy Chapman - Give me a reason..

2009-09-29T14:57:00.003+08:00

I woke up this morning.. and had all sorts of songs in my mind I just wanted to listen to over and over again.

This one song has nothing to do with the theme of this blog, it's purely on a whim....... I'm just in the mood to listen to some blues.. that's all....

Plus,

Don't you just LOVE this song?

Lets Move to Singapore!!

2009-09-26T16:58:00.004+08:00

Quick one here...

Switching sex partners a hit with Singaporeans

I'm seriously thinking I should MOVE TO SINGAPORE...Seems to be where all the fun is Hahahaha...

I'll be there next week anyways.

Newsflash : Bangla Orgies in Raub

2009-09-24T11:13:00.003+08:00

Three women caught at sex orgy with 19 men

I guess there's more going on in Raub than just plantations....

Gang bang baby!.... Damn, I didn't know these Bangladeshis knew how to have so much fun!!
Hahaha..

On the first day of Hari Raya too! Maybe they were fasting and abstaining from more than just food during the Ramadhan month.

But why only 3 for all 19 dudes? Tak cukup budget izit? Or as it buy two get one free? The women had to stay 2~3 days to 'satisfy the lust of the Bangladeshis'.... :-S Not exactly the kind of assignment you'll look forward to as a prostitute eh? If 19 of them had to pool money to share 3 women, I'm pretty sure the money ain't that good.

Whatever happened to 'satisfying the lust of the Malaysians'?

Cheers to the Bangladeshis, for knowing how to look for a good time, even if they have no money!!

But oh ya.... sorry your party got crashed by the police. Save up your money boys... maybe next time you can afford 4!!

the Crocodile Women....

2009-09-24T01:08:00.006+08:00

I’ve always had this fascination about women.

At times, I think they are soft, gentle and sweet… almost to the point of being vulnerable and defenseless. They have this way of making you feel like it’s your duty to be protecting them, holding out doors for them, and running in the rain to fetch the car for them. Something about the way they flick their hair, smile at you and say “Would you please do this for me? “….. And all you can do is oblige. Something about their seemingly petite bodies and sweet faces tend to take you off guard.

Other times, you really feel like you DON’T want to be messing with them. Whether it’s PMS, or a bad hair day, or they’re just feeling particularly bitchy that day, IT’S ALWAYS YOUR FAULT. There is no winning an argument against a woman who’s pissed off.

I mean….. catch a woman on a wrong day, and gone is the sweet exterior… and out comes Medusa, with a full lock of snake hair.. and fangs so long and sharp it’d put Dracula to shame. She has many weapons; bitching, nagging, crying, shouting, silence… and if need be…infliction of physical pain. Different women have different levels of mastery of these skills… and they deploy these methods in varying degrees of intensity depending on what is most effective in any given situation.

Don’t bother trying to confirm this with any women. Some will deny it outright, others aren’t even aware because it comes so naturally to them, they aren’t even conscious about it. Women’s instinct; they always know how to get you by the balls.

Men are usually defenseless in the face of a combination of any 2 of the above methods. But some of our defenses include our unusually thick skulls and small ears. Our brains are well insulated for our protection…..… against you. That’s why we never seem to hear when you talk, cry, shout or nag. And padded groin guards… in case the verbal abuse doesn’t work and you decide a kick in the balls is in order. Unfortunately, there is no defense against the silent treatment. But that’s why we invented football and ESPN.

I have a favourite metaphor I like using when describing some women. It’s that of alligators & crocodiles. No, it’s not about how scary they look without make up (although in some cases, it just may be true). It’s on their character really. You see, crocodiles have a general bad reputation of being literal man eaters… vicious, cunning, opportunistic, aggressive... and just generally nasty nasty little buggers so ancient they’ve outlived the dinosaurs. But crocodiles are quite misunderstood. Despite being cold blooded creatures (ahem..) they are actually very loving and protective creatures…. To their own kind that is. They are the way they are because it’s what they need to do to survive. Crocodiles are fiercely protective over their eggs and hatchlings….. and probably one of the best mothers around. If you want to pay your mom a complement.. buy her a card with an alligator picture. (Just remember to explain it to her, else she think you think her as an old, scaly and cold blooded monster). A crocodile will risk life and limb and chomp up anything that stand between it and the safety of the things it holds dear… things like boyfriends and husbands… oopps.. I mean.. eggs and hatchlings. So ya… at the risk of further raging fury from any female reader, I’ll say this; women are like crocodiles… and I mean that… in the NICEST way. You’re guaranteed 100% safety, protection and tender loving care so long as you’re ‘part of the pack’ as it were… But if you’re NOT, then you’re pretty much lunch… and God help you in your quest.

I’ve never met two women who are alike despite initial looks and appearances. If you’ve met a hundred different women, then there ARE a hundred different puzzles to solve. And unlike those cool jigsaw puzzles that come with the main picture so you at least know what it’s SUPPOSED to look like, there IS NO KNOWING this puzzle until it’s complete, by which time, it’s too late to return the box brader….. Don’t bother trying to generalize or categorizing them or *gasp*… figure them out. Just like other great mysteries of the world like quantum physics and the theory of relativity, the female psyche is something man will never be able to figure out. As soon as we figure one woman out, we realize that there are rules and exceptions applicable for every different woman, in every difference circumstances, for different times of the month. The more you try to understand them, the more complicated it gets…

It’s intriguing to just see how vastly different women can be. Some like strawberry ice cream, others like After Eight Chocolate mint. Some turn into vicious-spawn-from-hell during their PMS while others breeze through it… Some want red roses and romantic dinner, others want your cash and credit card. Some like it when a man takes charge, pays the bill and opens doors for them, others scare the shit out of you and harass you into chauffeuring them around and repairing their toilets. Some can never wait to tie the knot and have half a dozen kids, others would poke you in the eyes and kick you in the balls before you can spell.. B.A.B.Y. Some are complete prudes, who insist cocks are those furry animals that run on two legs that wake you up in the mornings. (but then again, men DO tend to be horny in the mornings, so maybe they were right. lol). Others are complete nymphomaniacs, needing no less than 5 cocks…. I mean… men per session every other night just to stay satisfied. There are such women, I kid you not. Browse around the Singaporean and (to a lesser extent) Malaysian blogosphere and you’ll find it in no time (I’m not posting any links, so you’re going to have to ask me). Geez… the things they do make the things I write look like kindergarten level stuff man……..

Anyway,

The point I’m so painstakingly trying to make is…. There is no figuring women out. Not as a whole anyway. Maybe you can truly figure one WOMAN out… but it still takes time… and you have to do it, person to person. But even figuring one woman out would probably take almost a lifetime (yes they’re THAT ~~complicated~~ sophisticated) and you do only have one lifetime. Quite a quandary isn't it? Here’s the secret;

I read somewhere… that in order to live with a man; you have to love him a little, but try to understand him a lot. In order to live with a woman; you have to try to understand them a little, but love her A LOT.

I’m pretty sure it was just a joke.. but somehow, it sounded quite profound to me. What do you think?

Cheers!

NEW BLOG LAYOUT

2009-09-23T01:09:00.003+08:00

No, you didn't load the wrong page.

Yes, you've got the right address.

I've changed my blog template... again.

This time... I've gone for a something a bit different and... 'whitish'.... less depressing and a bit.....well.... less dark and suicidal. LOL.

The last one didn't seem quite right.. but I was too lazy to do anything. Trying to read html is a real pain in the ass..... but I'll try to tweak it here and there if I ever get around to it again.

Meanwhile... welcome to my new layout.

A LooOong Lonely YeAr in Bed...

2009-09-15T12:17:00.011+08:00

How long is too long without sex?

A week? A month? A YEAR?

How long CAN you take it? What about women? How long can THEY take not having sex for long periods of time?

I don't know about everyone else... but the usual acceptable frequency for me is is 2~3 times a week.. or every alternate night. If she / I am feeling particularly horny..then it's a few nights in a row.. Other times.. when schedules conflict, or other things come up, or I'm overseas... then it may stretch up to a week plus.

If it really does stretch up to a week.... I find myself in this hyper sexed up / horny mode. I start thinking things.. I start looking at women around me differently. Beneath my squinty eyes, emerges another set of longing, lusty eyes... One that mentally undresses women... One that stares longer than it should, one that wonders to regions of your body I shouldn't really be looking at.

Do you imagine sex with the people you deal with on mundane day to day things? You know.. the cute girl selling nasi lemak and her friendly smile, or your company clerk with that sweet perfume she puts on, maybe one of your suppliers / vendors, who always drives you crazy with that soft, seductive voice of hers.

I love talking on the phone with this one girl I deal with in work... She may not look like a beauty queen... but gosh does she have a seductive voice.

"Hellooo.. HmMMm Yeess.. Good Morning.. Mr. XXX"... she instantly recognizes my voice.

Just listening to that line gives me a thrill, and I feel like a silly schoolboy calling his favourite crush.. Sometimes, I'd prolong the conversation, or just ask a few more questions than really necessary, just to keep listening to her voice.... Anyway, I noticed that the hornier I was i.e. the longer I have been without sex.. the more mesmerized I was when talking to her.. It's almost as if every other words she says has the words "I'm sexy.. you want me.. I'm hot... you want me" back masked into her sentences... Damn.. I think I'm obsessed.

I was just reading something today, and the author was talking about something TOTALLY different.. but it went like this :

".....This means don't touch anything really nice, because once you do, that thing that you knew you didn't need suddenly becomes something you need and deserve."

(If you REALLY need to know, it was actually a review on the latest Leica camera, haha)

He was talking about luxury gadgets.. I was just thinking about sex, and the Maslow's hierarchy of needs, and some old idiom about not wanting water after you've tasted wine.

SEX is a NEED......... A genuine one.. So the next time I'm telling you.. "I NEED A FUCK..."... just note I'm not being a nymphomaniac. It's a psychological need!. I'm telling you I'm being deprived of my a basic human requirement for survival!! A psychological need is a requirement that if not met, the human body simply cannot continue to function. So the more accurate thing to say would be "I NEED A FUCK OR I'LL DIE."

But since WHEN did it start becoming a need anyway? I remember being a 17 year old virgin. The most intimate partner I had was my left hand and lotion, and the nearest I came near to a woman's naked body was 5 inches from the TV screen... and miraculously.. I didn't die.

That's what got me started thinking about the water and wine idiom. You never want water after you've tasted wine. And once you've tasted the pleasures of sex.. There IS no turning back. You develop an appetite... You acquire a taste... you gain a NEED. And when that need is not satisfied... you think of nothing else.... it invades into your thoughts... you yearn, you crave, you long for it... Almost like an addiction. Sex becomes an addiction. That's not to say once you've had sex you absolutely can't stop. It's just hard... and it's something you end up doing more out of the lack of opportunity rather than a self imposed abstinence.

To those of you who through some super human strength managed to actually abstain.. I have only one thing to say....

~~You're fucking kidding rite?~~,
~~Why bother?~~,
~~But.. but.. but.. it's a NEED!~~,
~~You're missing out!~~,
~~Fuck while you're young and hot, not old and frumpy!!~~

My hats off to you in respect.

I think trying stop having sex after having a regular supply of sex is hard.. And it'd probably take some form of zen like mastery over your sexual urges and desires. We all have it... and we all can suppress our sexuality to some levels.... But to go cold turkey would be to completely suppress the thoughts, the desires and the will to act on them. And that's tough when you KNOW how pleasurable the very thing you are denying yourself of is. It's easier to be a virgin monk. Even so, it's not impossible to go cold turkey.. After all, you might not have a woman all the time, but you will always have you left hand right.. lol..

At our basic level of human wants and needs, no one wants to abstain.. No one wants to go without sex. If they are sexually inactive.. it can only be one of two reasons. 1. Lack of opportunity / chances or 2. Some higher moral / spiritual decision for higher purposes.

I suspect most of us belong in reason 1. who wouldn't fuck given the chance? Frankly, I do it every chance I get. So to regularly get some, you either need to be in a steady relationship, you've got a fuck buddy, you're suave and charming enough to pick up girls on a regular basis OR you're desperate (and rich enough) to burn money on prostitutes. Else, you're pretty much left in the lurch.......

Reason 2 is tricky. If you're the sort that believes in God and eternal damnation of sin... then there's quite a bit of thinking to do there. 30 minutes of heaven for an eternity in hell? Is it worth it? Well, if Angelina Jolie, Megan Fox or Marilyn Monroe are there.. can't be too bad right?..... But wait.. you can sin FIRST and repent LATER right? But that just makes you a hypocrite and not really sincere in this whole wanting to abstain thing.. It'd be better to just come clean and say "Frankly I don't give a fuck..". At least you're honest. Same goes for if abstaining meant being loyal to your partner. Someone MIGHT choose to go cold turkey rather than cheat.. Better to become zen-like-sexually-suppressed-but-loyal monk rather than rampant-promiscuous-but-sexually-satisfied philanderer

You must be wondering what the hell am I trying to get at.. talking about abstinence and morals and stuff....I don't plan to abstain. No fucking way... which is the problem I'm facing actually.

Some time in the very very (like very) near future... I'll be all alone again.. for almost an entire YEAR. Physically that is.... I'll be alone.. every single night, every single week in her absence. No blowjob, no sex, no grouping, no smooching, no post coital bliss... I'll be 17 all over again.. but in a bad bad way. How do you go from regular sex every few days to absolutely zero for months on end? Frankly, I don't really know, and don't really want to find out either. I am struggling with reasons 1 and 2 above. Like I said, I don't really intend to abstain. I'm not looking forward to being reacquainted with my left and and the front of my TV screen...... But even if I didn't want to abstain.. there's the question of demand vs supply. Sure I'd love to fuck.. but oh that's right.... you DO need two to tango, else its just called screwing yourself. Haha.. And still I'm nowhere even near seeing even the shadow of a candidate for a fuck buddy..... Shucks. Time's ticking..... Maybe I better start doing something about it rather than just talking about it. FUBU anyone?

Then there's reason two. I won't powder it.. I won't sugar coat it. It's cheating. Its not fair. It's breaking the rules. It's wrong. Yes, I do occasionally wonder about eternal damnation in hell... yes I realize the right thing to do is to be loyal but frankly, I don't really give a fuck.... or at least.. I'm trying not to as far as my conscience will allow it. I'd probably try the zen-like-sexually-suppressed-but-loyal monk thing for a while.... but frankly rampant-promiscuous-but-sexually-satisfied philanderer seems much more fun for now. It's now or never.

Just don't tell anyone I told you that OK.

Cheers

Dirty Deed : One down

2009-09-08T23:22:00.004+08:00

A stare for a full 2 seconds at the box being handed to me

I paused.. as if hesitating.. but in truth, I had already made up my mind long time ago....Long before I was seated at this table.. long before I was offered it...

its a filthy habit

I grab it.. and they smirk at me... "Now that's more like it" they say.. I read it all over their foreheads...

it's one of the things I never wanted to do...

I take out a stick... It feels so much lighter than I'd expect.. In my huge palms, it looks tiny. I'm not even sure how to hold it.. Is two fingers enough?

it makes your teeth ugly... it's a waste of money.. it causes cancer..

I finally bite it... and ask for a light.. The sassy girl I'm sitting next to offers one.. Special treatment from a beautiful girl... for the guy who's first time it supposedly is....

what if you get addicted? What if you get hooked?

"Fuck it.. I don't care.. It's about fucking time.. I should have got it over with years ago.. " I think to myself..

Is this really me? What the hell am I doing? This isn't me...

"Precisely... it's because this isn't me... That's precisely why I'm doing it.. I'm sick of being so me..... I need to get out of my own skin...."....

I take a deep breath and see the tip of it lighting up.. I feel the smoke go down my throat.. I taste the sweet smell of tobacco....

It's surprisingly easy... I didn't choke. I had expected I would. I hold it in and let it out slowly....

Now you've done it.. What you said you'd do, you happy now?.....

Hell yeah... But I kinda expected more....On the third puff I tried taking it in deeper.. and find myself blowing smoke from my nose.....

"WHAT THE HELL.. I thought you said this is your first time?" she says..

"It IS my first time.. I've never smoked in my life.."

"LIAR.. I've been smoking for years.. and even I don't know how to do that." she says

"Do what?"

"That thing you just did. Blowing it out of your nose. LIAR.." she tells me...

What the fuck? I didn't realize what just happened. Did I just go overboard?

"IT IS MY FIRST TIME..."

"Whatever.. liar.. I think it'd be more obvious if it were your first time.."

Whatever.... believe what you want. I'm not here to prove anything.. not to you anyway..

So I finally took my first puff, a damn 5 years after puberty.. talk about late bloomers. Shit, I think I have a lot of catching up to do. I'm not a smoker.. I just smoke. There's a difference...

Hacks sweets and mints comes out and gets distributed.. pfftt.. of course... to hide the smell. Looks like I wasn't the only one with a secret to hide.

Start smoking? Check

One down......

Two more to go....

Sex in the twilight years

2009-09-05T21:29:00.007+08:00

Have you ever wondered how sex would be like for you 30~40 years down the line from today? When you're all old and wrinkled, your skin doesn't seem to fit your body and your hair is turning gray. Would you still feel sexy and horny like you do now? Will your erection be as half as hard as it is now or last half as long? Will your boobs be so sagging they only ever point south? Is doing the cowgirl going to break your back and crush my bones?

Truth be told, I haven't thought about it much at all... and I don't plan to for another 20 years at least..

I'm adamant on enjoy all the sex I have now, while my body is still in its prime and I haven't gone senile. I want to savour every kiss, remember every touch and engrave every sensation into my mind. From the softness of her lips, the smell of her hair, the gentleness of her skin, to the firmness of her breast as I caress it, the warmth of her pussy as I penetrate her and oh... the 'unbelievable-out-of-this-world-fuck-your-brains-silly' pleasures when she takes my cock in her mouth sucking greedily, gently gliding up and down with her lips while rolling her tongue over my dick head. I want to enjoy all of this as much and as often as possible while I'm still looking like someone you'd go to bed with (even if it's just barely, lol) without having to ask for 5 shots of whiskey first... And you still looks like some semblance of a woman with feminine curves and charms as oppose the typical fat old 'ah ma's' you see in the morning market carrying their baskets and umbrellas

Hopefully, when if I do reach 60.. I'd have had enough sex to last a lifetime.. if that were even possible and would not have to fret about it too much about a non existent sex life.... Also, by which time, I guess it's only natural that our sex drive isn't quite like it is right now.. constantly on overdrive.

But if I were to still be (somewhat) sexually active in my old age, capable of nothing more exciting than cheekily squeezing my partners breast in front of a camera, I'd ask for nothing more except to be just to be as happy and as content as this man and woman you see above..

Do you take it up the ass?

2009-08-26T16:12:00.014+08:00

Do you take it up the ass?

That’s probably one question I’ve been BURNING to ask someone for some time now. No, allow me to correct that; that’s something I’ve been burning to ask ANYONE for some time now. Here’s the thing; it’s not the kind of question you can just ask women up front like that without landing yourself a slap on your face.

So what’s the whole deal about anal sex and taking it up the ass anyway? Honestly, I’m not too sure…. Only that it’s supposed to be illegal in some countries… such as this one I’m living here. The law doesn’t exactly say NO TAKING IT UP THE ASS, although I bet that’ be a pretty popular clause to study for local aspiring law students, not to mention the hilarious paper head lines… imagine..

"Woman, 26, charged under Section 41 of the Penal Code for improper conduct, and taking it up the ass”.

There'd probably be hundreds of male lawyers wanting to take the case up for free. lol

What the law REALLY says here in our dear country is that it’s against the law to conduct sexual acts against the course of nature (I'm no lawyer..but its something like that la)… That pretty much covers everything from fucking a goat, masturbating using a warm melon with a hole digged in the centre (yikes!), and yes, taking it up the ass as well. You see.. very clearly from the cartoon above, its not exactly in natures course to be taking it up the ass. Just look at those poor disappointed and broken little sperm discovering there’s no egg to fertilize (click to enlarge).

If you’re like me, then most of the thing you have learned about sex and sexuality would have been from watching (porn) and doing (a woman)… Its been quite a few years since I left school, but I’m pretty sure Anal Sex 101 was kind of left out in our sex ed syllabus. And what does porn teach us about anal sex? Well, only that it’s one of the things you do, like you do your blowjobs, and your pussy licking, your missionary and the like… Taking up the ass is supposed to be just as simple as pointing the other direction….,,literally. And the woman TAKING it… well, I guess it’s supposed to feel just as good right? ……

Erm….. right? *silence*

Unless it was all just an act… was it?..... was it? …… *silence again*

Here’s my problem. I’ve never actually met or known a woman who HAS taken up the ass. I guess it’s pretty obvious by now.. I’ve never done it, and no, my other half doesn’t take it up there, hence my curiousity. I would love to actually have first hand feedback from a woman who has taken up the ass, just to know firsthand.

So here’s the deal, if you’ve taken it up the ass AND you are a woman (very important point there), can you please humour me and answer me the following questions:

1. Why'd you do it?
2. How does it feel?
3. Did any shit fall out / smeared like this? (you'll have to forward to minute 2.30) *warning; porn link, if you're reading this in public / office *
4. Do you really get high or enjoy it?

I'm guessing most women do it because their partners asked for it and they oblige. Or are there women who are by themselves curious and eager enough to try it on their own accord? And how do you tackle the problem of hygiene, what with bacteria, and infection and dirt but most importantly, how to prevent that less than pleasant little problem of having shit start coming out (it IS your anus after all). But the million dollar question really is whether or not women really ENJOY it? Or is it really just some sexual myth that porn movies have been so thoroughly brainwashing us with? I know some women just enjoy their anus being licked... but not penetrated... What about you ladies? I have to ask; Do you take it up the ass? And if you don't, is is the same reasons as what I've mentioned?

On the other hand, if you’ve taken it up the ass, BUT YOUR A MAN, erm…… ok, I guess I could still muster a few questions. Here goes:

1. ~~DUDE!...... What the fuck man?~~
2. ~~Are you gay? (but then again, you don't HAVE to be gay to take it up the ass right? Or do you?)~~
3. ~~WHY? WHY WHY?......~~
1. Have you ever been milked? (That seems like a whole other mystery altogether!)

I do know that men have prostate glands, accessible only through the anus..... and when stimulated can make a man cum so much, the sperm literally starts flowing out in streams.. hence the term 'milking'.... It's also supposed to be a very intense and pleasurable experience if done properly........Not that I would know of course (true at the moment of writing this!).

Which brings me to a follow up question.... how many MEN actually take it up the ass? I'm talking strictly about heterosexual men here, because frankly, if you're homosexual... it doesn't look to me like you've got much of a choice right? If you aren't going to take it up the ass where else? There's probably this incredulous double standard on this issue I'm guessing. Here's my take; men ALWAYS want to try anal sex with their partners.. but are infinitely less welcoming about anyone or anybody sticking anything up THEIR ass.... EVER. I'm probably wrong of course, because I'm pretty sure many men have done it (only none I have come across). I say this because, personally, I'd take quite a far bit of convincing (and a lot of lubricant) before I can ever consent to anyone sticking anything as small as a your small finger up my ass. Maybe I'm conservative, I dunno..... So guys, have you ever taken it up the ass?

Having said all this.... I USED to be pretty eager to try anal sex. Maybe I'd still try if it given the chance..... But it's no longer something I'm obsessed about or would push for. For many of the reasons above, PLUS, I'm just wondering how different can in be anyway compared to the normal pussy....In all fairness, I won't insist on asking a woman to take it up her ass any sooner than I'd agree to take it up my own, UNLESS the woman herself really enjoys it and WANTS me to do it. But, with anal sex, there's hygiene to think of, there's lubricant to apply, there's literally shit to consider... it's sounds more than a bit of hassle, and frankly, a bit over rated. What's wrong with good ol' pussy anyway? I read a joke which I will share here to close:

A notable gynaecologist once said,

"The best engine in the world is the vagina.
It can be started with one finger.
It is self-lubricating.
It takes any size piston.
And it changes its own oil every four weeks.
It is only a pity that the management system is so f*****g temperamental."

LOL.. No offense ladies, but we love you!

Cheers

Cars, Closets & Cops

2009-08-19T12:10:00.013+08:00

I've always been a bit naughty..

Not the regular bad ass that perpetually having trouble knocking on their door type..... No, I have always been (and continue to be) very much a tame person, with a hint of naughtiness and cheekiness... something people who get to know me usually come to realize after a while... My seemingly innocent and tame demeanor also usually means I get away with a lot of things and also people seldom think I'm capable of doing anything more cunning than falsely calling in sick on a Monday (which I never do for the record..lol)....

But here's a small little secret... something I used to do in the past.. but perhaps still worthy of a retelling...

You know how you get swooped off your feet and fall madly in love with someone? You feel like there is no limits to what you would do for them, how far you would go in the name of your love.... and the things you'd do, just to be with them? You sit there alone in your room, and your mind thinks only of that person.. and you yearn.. I mean really yearn to be next to them. You think up all sorts of ways and methods on how see them.

This was back in high school days, when I lived off allowances from our parents (which never seemed enough no matter how much), the most affordable mode of transport were the Bus No. 11 (meaning your legs) and the coolest thing you could do was have access to a car to drive around.

But being a good boy and all, my dad took it upon himself to teach me how to drive at the age of 15... and by the time I was 16 I sort of had partial access to the car, but only within the neighbourhood. That was the rule, since I was still too young to have a driving license. This drove most of my friends green with envy of course. lol.

I had also newly discovered the pleasures of kissing and sex and oral sex....french kissing, blowjobs, cunnilings, orgasms. I was completely consumed by this burning desire and unquenchable thirst for more. At 17, I felt for the first time what it meant to have this insatiable need for sex... I was addicted, and I had a partner equally as consumed as I was.

12am.

So I had willing partner with a room with no parents, with whom infinite hours of pleasure awaited.... I had practical knowledge on how to drive a car, with partial access to it, with parents who seemed to always go to bet at 11pm... and I was horny as hell with a hard on that was making a sturdy tent out of my pants.

It could have been a 40 foot trailer instead of a small sedan, it made no difference.. I'd probably still try my luck. I sneaked up to the front of their door, made sure they were either sleeping or too busy have some sex of their own, took the car keys.. QUIETLY opened the gate (it was a noisy gate)... GENTLY push the car out (can't afford to let the engine sound blow it!).. CLOSE the gate.. PUSH another 10 feet.. START the engine... and it was pedal to the medal all the way to pleasure island baby......

I was the kind that would get nervous just by cheating in a pop quiz... so this was pretty hardcore stuff for my own standards, driving the streets 1a.m. in the morning illegally. My palms were sweaty, my heart was pumping.. and overall just a nervous wreck. There was the fear of being caught by the police; I've never been a felon before and the fear that back home, I'd been discovered. But there was the eager anticipation of sex... It's a pretty unique feeling... part thrill, part terror.

12.30 am

Just along the last 2 miles, I thought i was home free. Just a few more turns! I could already picture it in my mind; her smooth soft skin, her perfectly shaped breast, her deep but soft moans, her wet and warm pussy. Damn that red traffic light! But I guess with life, you never get the things you really want in life, without some sort of effort.. or luck.. Up ahead.. a long queue of cars... and dead in the center of the road.. A police road block.

I was fucked.. long before my pants had the chance to come off.

And I thought I was already too nervous when I left the gate... My first reaction was to try turning around. But there was no turning.. And it would have raised suspicions. What to do? What to do? With a flash, I could see it all crashing down. I would be brought to the station. My parents will be called. I would have been discovered, my intentions revealed, the car revoked, and my cock... still making them blasted tents. No fuck was worth that! Why couldn't I just wait my time. Why couldn't I just wank off to some porn like I've been doing for years?."Your a damn idiot you know...." I muttered to myself..... SHIT.. So I did the only thing I COULD do.. PLAY IT COOL DUDE. My dad thought me when I was young never to run from a dog, or show them you were afraid. Predators could always smell fear. Our Royal Malaysian police aren't quite dogs, nor exactly predators... but I guess you get my point right? I MIGHT JUST PULL THIS OFF... I thought to myself.

1 am.

I stuck to my plan. and since the queue of cars were long enough, I had some time to calm down. So I kept a cool face... I had brownie points for looking every bit the harmless ah beng with my shorts, Visit Malaysia shirt (yes, lame I know), specky face and non threatening look that practically screamed out "I'm as dangerous as a bunny with a very pointy carrot".... And as I reached the check point, I switched my car lights on, I winded my window down, made direct contact with the officer and nodded. The reaction? Just a quick glance, and a wave that said MOVE ON... Home free baby! I had a horny lover waiting, wondering where I was (this was before every 15 year old had a phone ok.. so we still relied of fixed lines and honouring our meetings, no sms to cancel and such)

1.15 am

and as I parked in front of her place, and she opened the door for me.. I was almost as relief as I was horny...but definitely hornier still.. The exciting encounter with law enforcers could wait.. There was a tent that needed dismantling. ;) We were all over each other the minute her room door was closed, our hands hungrily grabbing at each other, clumsily taking our cloths off..... and with every mouth of her sweet lips I took into my own, the more I was convinced it was all worth the risk, . The deeper I thrust myself into her and the more her moans got louder, the more I felt perhaps going to jail for the night would have been worth it, and when I finally reach the end of my endurance, releasing all my fluids into her welcoming pussy (it was a safe time), her hips grinding against mine as the contractions came slow and hard....I could have sworn I'd punch a cop and steal a car to reach this climactic end; she in my arms, both panting profusely, my manhood buried deep inside of her.. not wanting to let go. TOTALLY contradicting myself earlier of course when I freaked out at the road block.. but.. aaah...Pleasure... glorious pleasure, it messes with your judgment oh so subtly. ;)

4am;

close to the break of dawn. I had to go home. I had school at 7.30am for pete sake! One deep passionate kiss and spank of the bum later, I was on the road again, heading back to my home. That was not the end. I had to QUIETLY open the gate again, PUSH the car back in to its EXACT spot, pop the hood to COOL the engine (else they'll suspect), creep upstairs to be doubly sure they were asleep, wait an HOUR for the engine to cool before closing it, then get ready for school and keep my fingers crossed that they wouldn't notice anything when waking up. No time for sleep. If you want something, you've bound to have to sacrifice something else.

8am.

Needless to say, I would end up going to school looking like a zombie with a major hangover (if zombies could drink).. I'd lie to everyone that I was up all night surfing online and 'doing assignments' lol..... it was my little secret.. I didn't want to tell my poor virgin 'homies' that I'd just become a felon, drove 20km, slipped right under the nose of police officers and spent the night having the greatest sex of my life (raw too!). I know I had a smirk on my face the whole day.. but my lips were sealed... it was then that I acknowledge to myself I was naughtier and cheekier than I was previously willing to admit.... And that's where I think I developed this obsession with sexual escapades...

There were many more nights like this. It became sort of my modus operandi. Sometimes, I'd pick her up to stay in my place instead. There'd be an emergency closet she could hide in if anyone came knocking on the door. She'd run into the closet, and I'd let my parents in to talk to me. I'd either stand between the closet and them, or feign outrage for being disturbed. The police roadblocks were a regular feature; they were just doing routine checks. I always played it cool. And in both cases at home and on the road... I was never caught. My closet door was never opened and the police never stopped me... and the rest of the world... well... they didn't suspect a thing and continued slumbering....

Their ignorance...was my bliss... :)

Cheers..

Horny Holidays

2009-08-18T01:31:00.003+08:00

Holidays make me horny....

For some reason... they just do for me. Maybe its because when on holiday you are relaxed.. your mind is free.. No lingering thoughst on deadlines, meetings or calls and emails to reply.. Your focus is solely on having a good time with your partner.. and what kind of better time could one possibly think of than sex right?

When its a normal work day....sometime you are tire, sometime she's tired. Sometimes, you've had a crappy day and other days she's more busy fussing about what a slob you are at home..... Whatever it is, when you go on holiday, the mood totally changes.

Your mind is stimulated.. you see new things, new sights, you meet new new people. you're staying in a nice cozy hotel room with clean fluffy pillows and thick sheets.. the bed and room automatically cleans itself up everytime you return to you room... and the walls... the walls are usually well insulated for some.. ;)

Am I the only one who grows two horns and get more than a little cheeky every time I'm on holiday? Am I the only one who's eager to try different positions on the dressing table, next to the coffee table and in the shower the minute the doors are closed and the 'Do Not Disturb' sign is hanged up? Oh yes... being on holiday sure makes me crave more than usual for a good humping.

Holiday anyone?

My revenge.. on them good looking pepple.

2009-08-13T13:24:00.006+08:00

You know how beautiful or sexy women always get looks from men as they walk by?

They know their attractive, they know their beautiful, they know you have your eye on them........ and they know that you too.

If I'm at a social meet, and there's a really beautiful or hot woman of the above type amongst me, I sometimes make it a point to just completely ignore them. I don't look at them, I don't try to impress them, and I don't try to make them notice me, like the half dozen men standing around her. I'd talk, laugh and joke with every other women around, except her.

I will not give her the satisfaction that yet ANOTHER guy can't keep their eyes off her, that with her killer looks and charming smile, she's got me too, even if it were true. I will not stand to be counted amongst her legion of admirers, tripping themselves over her in hopes of trying to gain her fancy.

I will not subject the rest of the so called 'less attractive' women to secondary treatment, just because someone hotter is sitting next to them. They deserve attention and respect too. I know how it feels to be sitting right next to a person who is the object of desire of all the women / men in the room. You feel like you could be a table prop and no one would tell the difference.

It's my weird and convoluted little revenge on them good looking people.....

Do you ever do that, or is it just me?

[UPDATED] Actually, it's just my revenge on good looking people who seem to be too full of themselves, strutting around thinking their looks automatically make them more desirable than others. How many really good looking people have you met who have manage to not let their looks get to their head anyway? I'm sure the answer is not many enough.

Corners of the Heart

2009-08-09T21:23:00.005+08:00

We play around in bed, poking and tickling each other; laughing, giggling and having playful banter... like 2 little school kids having fun. It's one of those things we do; chasing each other around the house, tickling, playfully squabbling over who's the more retarded one.... She insist that I'm actually more wacky that I permit others to see, and that if people knew me like she did, no one would ever see me in the same light anymore...gone would be my air of seriousness and no nonsense nature. I insist I'm only this playful around her, and it's all her fault anyway.... she was the one that started it!

Its midnight, and all this laughing and joking is in a strange way, our little precursor to sex. We both sort of know what we want..... but before things get all steamy and sticky, we just play with each other, having a good laugh. Nothing gets you more relaxed than sharing a laugh.

She gets a call. Who would call in the middle of the night? It's her old friend from school. We've been meeting up as a foursome (not in bed dummy) for quite a few months now; she, myself, this guy, and another female friend. Good fun really; dinners together, movies, drinks on Saturday nights. Good company, good conversation, and everyone's on the same wavelength. So what's up?

It his birthday at the stroke of midnight. He's nearby, he's alone, and meeting up with friends in KL later, but for some reason, wants to come of for a yam cha. He ask if I'm there. She says yes. He ask if we'd like to go for a drink. She ask me if its OK.. I said.. "Yeah, its up to you.". She tells him the both of us will be done in five minutes.

I tell her she better go by herself. "Why? Come along la. He invited US." she says. For some reason, I said no. "Go ahead.. he's your friend remember. I'm sure he has something he wants to get off his chest." I replied. I mean.. if I were a guy, its the stroke of midnight, and its my birthday, and I call a hot and sexy female friend out for a drink, I certainly would not want her to bring her man along... But that's just it. I was not the guy. I was actually on the other end. And knowing this, I still didn't want to go. If I went, I was pretty sure he wouldn't spit out whatever he had to say / share. Its a guy ego thing. You don't sob, cry and whine like a baby in front of another dude.

Plus, I actually honestly liked this particular guy. Nice decent guy.. and we actually get along great (which is rare for me). Comes from a good respectable family (read Rich), very family centered, and he's this really really nice guy. She and him actually go back a longer way than me. They've known each other and been good friends through Secondary school, long before I ever came into the picture. She used to fancy this guy once upon a time, and confessed to him once in secondary school, but he sort of preferred that they remained just friends. Of course, that was long before she blossomed into the hottie she is today. You could see the look on his face when they finally met again after a 4 year absence (he was studying in Melbourne)... I think he must have been kicking himself for letting her slip pass! Sorry dude, you got here first, but I got the girl! Haha... But anyway, I digress.

For all intent and purposes, I should feel uncomfortable. I should be feeling threatened. I should be asking "Why the hell is he calling YOU of all person at this time of night?"... but I didn't. In fact, I actually encouraged her to go. "Go la.. sounds like he needs someone to talk to. If I come along, he'll just shut right up. It's ok, I'll be here when you get back." I said to her. She didn't feel comfortable. In fact, she even put up a small little attempt to protest. Are you sure? Won't you feel jealous or something? she asked. I give her the most disbelieving look I could muster and said "Come on, do I really look the type?". Not wanting to debate more, she got dressed and left "I won't be long ok darling.. We can continue after I get back".. gives me a wink and small kiss, and I sat there alone, just wondering what the hell did I just do. It seemed almost like I've given her a grand sending away to the arms of another man.. and I wasn't the least bit worried or upset.

The next morning when we talked, she told me she felt uncomfortable with going up with him alone like that. "I go out all the time with Lily (not her real name) just the two of us for drinks, and you know about it. Why should this be any different?" I said to her... But I understood what she was trying to say. She didn't want to have double standards. She knew that if the same thing the night before happened to me instead, she'd be mad, suspicious and jealous AS HELL.... she knows she can never have the same kind of assurance as I did in her. She could never wholeheartedly allow me to go have drinks with another woman in the midst of my time with her. Which woman ever would? Suspicion, jealousy and distrust would all kick in. She would feel threatened of her position in my heart instantly, despite us being so many years together. She knew this, and she knew that I knew it too.

Why did I do it? I think maybe I have always known the above about our relationship... and this time, when it sort of happened the other way around, I wanted to rub it in and prove a point. In allowing (and even encouraging) her to go, I knew I was giving to her something she has never been able to give me; complete trust and freedom. I wanted her to go out, have a good time, just the two of them, knowing fully well that I know, and that I'm ok with it. Because then, she would remember the countless times I had to go through hell, trying to convince and prove to her that my chit chat, yam cha sessions and friendship with female friends have always ever been that, just friends. I knew she would constantly monitor my whereabouts when she was not around and who I was with, get worried and think the worst when I don't answer. The green eyed monster in us sometimes make us do crazy things. "Where are you? Why aren't you answering my calls? Are you with someone?" You have no idea how demoralizing it can be to read those messages countless times, especially when you haven't even done a damn thing to cheat on the person. Oh.. yes, I wanted to rub it in. I wanted to remind her of this double standard that exist in our relationship, but I didn't want to do it in a hurt and begrudging way. This was the best way; to do and live by example. I'll treat you, not the way you've been treating me. I'll treat you the way I want to be treated.

But I still felt like there was more. This was one reason.. but I knew in my heart that there was also something else, something darker. I wanted her to go, and though I knew that there was nothing going on between the two, I wanted her to have all the opportunity in the world to HAVE something going on between them. Maybe at some level, I have some sort of guilt conscience, for all the things I have done, the things I so frequently want to do (as written in this blog) ..but mostly, for the things I know I'm capable of doing; things that could destroy in an instant what the two of us have been building for years. If I were her, I'd behave exactly the same way she did. As much as I demand complete trust from her, even if I got it, it would be undeserved.

I wouldn't trust myself.

I've always been told by people that I come across as a real nice guy, trustworthy and a gentlemen. I'm not boasting, its just what people usually end up saying of me. But just look at my writings, and the things I've been scheming....affairs, fuck buddies, one night stands...... Would you trust me? I wouldn't trust me. Give an inch, and they'll take a mile. A lot of times, women are right in their intuition. I am sicker than you think, I'm less of an angel that you know, and I'm certainly more cold and heartless than you can imagine.

And because of this, at some very twisted level in my head, I want her to go. I want her to have that chance to cheat or have her fun. Would I feel utterly betrayed and wronged? Of course I would. But maybe I would also feel like I deserve it, maybe not for anything I've ever done so far (which is basically nothing btw), but for the things I'm terrified I am going to do, in the coming months and years. If she cheated on me, it would be the lesser of two evils.... because if she did it, it would probably be with just one guy, out of passion of the moment, or crush or whatever. But for me, it's be so much worse. A deliberate, concerted and careful effort to do the things I'm not supposed to, to have my cake and eat it, I'll do it fully believing that I'll get away with it..... and the worst part of it all is, I know I'll probably fucking enjoy it so much I wouldn't want to stop.

For years and years I frowned upon my father and his womanizing ways. Always charming, always flirting with women. He had a way of talking to women... to make them laugh, to make them smile. My mother also kept silent, choosing to clench her teeth, swallow her pain and forsake her pride. He ruined his life with his ways, and she lost her mind, trying to put up with more than any woman ever should with her husband. Watching this growing up, I swore to myself I would never do to any woman what my father did to her; forsaken and unloved.

And yet here I am now, telling you these things. Make no mistake about it.

I........ am........ a.......bad.........person.

I'm a wolf under sheep's clothing, I'm the thief in the night, I am the one you least expect to hurt your feelings, but I probably will, in the most spectacular way.

If you know this, you'd stay away from me. I'm not the kind of guy you can trust your heart with. You can know a person for years and years and still not know the deepest darkest corners of their hearts; what despicable and shameful things people keep in that corner. I thought I knew mine. I thought I knew..... but when I really found out what was there, it scared the shit out of me.

Buying Lingerie.....

2009-08-09T15:24:00.006+08:00

Ladies,

Here's a plea from us ok. Don't bring your husbands / boyfriends / partner when you are shopping for lingerie. There's a few reasons I say this. Its not because we don't like you buying new sexy lingerie for our enjoyment and all... I mean.. we probably love your sexy bra and thong more than you do. And it's not because we don't want to pay for it either (although I do think you are paying an incredible amount of money for such a small amount of material). But here are 3 reasons why sometimes, it's better that you just leave us to our devices at the computer / hardware shop rather than take us into the lingerie shop.

1. We stare

Make no mistake about it.. A lingerie shop is actually a man's heaven. There are pictures of scantily clad women all around the walls; and you're even SUPPOSED to look at them. So we stare at the posters.. and sometimes we even salivate and drool.. which might piss you off. Then there are OTHER women, also looking for lingerie, holding up bra's and thongs thinking which one looks best.. and we start staring at them too, albeit in a less obvious manner... (See the problem?) And since we are where we are, the topic of conversation around us will of course be about breasts and bums and covering your pussy.. which incidentally happens to be our favourite topic.. which gets us extremely naughty. But you aren't supposed to get a hard on or horny in public.. so we try to be good and not look at any of these women and posters, or hear any of these conversation... and so.. we stare into nothingness... We blank out and insulate ourselves in our feeble attempts at trying to be a gentleman. and then you get pissed off at us because you may think we aren't interest at all. ON THE CONTRARY WOMAN! Is quite the opposite really.

2. In there, its nice to see, but not allowed to hold - we can't deal with that.

Now, why would you want to bring your man in the first place? For him to give his opinion right? How does he give his opinion? You try it on for him to see right?.... Well, when you do... and open that door for us to see you in that sexy outfit... well.... we stare (again), and this time, you obviously aren't going to get upset or anything.. but....then our mind goes equally blank.. because we start to get horny. We want to reach out there.. and squeeze that glorious bosom of yours and that tight ass... but we aren't allowed to, and so we just stare.... and drool.... and salivate and when you ask if it looks good, we invariably say yes all the time to all of them. Its not the bra we are saying yes to.. its the half exposed cup of breast and that firm bum of yours we are going gaga over, clouding our judgment. We add no value to your selection process and just stand there like a dumb ass.. THEN you get angry.

The exception is of course if you are wearing one of those bra that look like a bullet proof vest and grandma panties the size of....well...your grandma's butt.. then we'd actually be shielding our eyes from the pain.

3. We really want whats underneath it anyway

Whatever you buy will be off in 5 minutes of hitting the bed... Yes, it does look nice.. Yes, it is sexy and tantalizing and damn, you look sooo hot, but you'd look even hotter when it comes off!.. So off off off it must come! Maybe this sounds crude..but regardless of what you buy, its gona be the treasure its carry we are after! As long as it looks good, its good enough! When in the state of sexual excitement, our puny little brains can't really process if it was was laced or solid, full or half cup, T back or G-string, wired, padded or what have you... the only real design concern we would probably have is.. how do you take it off? If you really wanted our true opinion, we'd ask you to take the one easiest to remove...if its edible.. all the better!... and that my friend is the truth!

The only saving grace of this whole issue, and the only thing capable of keeping us in check in the lingerie shop is of course the sales promoters.. Or rather, all the 'aunties' selling them. How come you seldom if ever at all see hot beautiful women selling bra's and panties? Of course, that would result in us doing #1 above again.. All the women selling these things are either our mom or aunties age.. and they just take the whole sex and sexual fun of buying langerie out of the whole thing. I'm probaly wrong of course, and there's probably a lot of younger sales promoter.. But I always notice the aunties around... often recommending the giant bullet proof bra and grandma panties combination to unsuspecting women... The evils of it all! There should be a law~! Speaking of which, if you really not in the mood to entertain uncross your legs on a bad night, just put one of those on... we'll probably scurry off sooner than you can say "better support"....

Cheers...